Chapter 7: No clue (Two)

 

"Ah, so your fiancé, Lord Damian, is... um, Miss? Why are you suddenly grinning?"

 

"Huh, oh? It's because... I'm happy. I'm so happy, Hailey."

 

The warm southern sunlight streamed in through the carriage window.

 

Hailey’s babbling made me laugh. Although this scene had played out decades ago in my previous life, listening to her talk about this news made me smile.

 

"Miss, have you noticed that you've been acting rather peculiar lately? When you first heard about the engagement at the estate, you seemed lost in thought. But now, you're beaming as if you own the world. Are you feeling unwell, by any chance?"

 

"No, I feel better than ever. It's only natural to be happy when marrying such an exceptional person."

 

“Well, you’re only engaged, Miss.”

 

Upon hearing my response, Hailey held her chin and purposefully put on an anxious expression.

 

"Hmm... I guess I shouldn't have said such good things about Lord Damian. Miss, you can't afford to be so carefree. You must get to know him as a person before making any decisions. Rumors may paint him as a nice person, but the reality could be entirely different! What should I do? My lady is too naive."

 

Hailey's unnecessary concerns began to surface. Previously, she had showered Damian with compliments, most likely to reassure my anxious self. Now that I appeared relaxed, she must be worried.

 

However, I, more than anyone else in the world, knew that Hailey's fears would never materialize.

 

I had observed 'him', not Damian, from a distance for decades. How could I not know his true nature?

 

Images of my past with him naturally resurfaced in my mind, but they soon faded away. Shaking my head, I buried them once again in the depths of my memories.

 

Undeniably, there were moments of happiness, and memories of falling in love with him that I wouldn't trade for anything. Yet, ultimately, they were the outcomes of a failed life.

 

Instead of standing by his side, I had chosen to run away, acting selfishly and allowing someone else to steal him. Consequently, after several incidents, when I attempted to reclaim the empty seat next to him, I had to let him go because of my own mistakes.

 

'No, things had gone wrong from the very beginning. So I just have to go back and start over.'

 

During my first regression, I shouldn't have associated him with the Damian that I once knew. He was already doing everything in his power to distance himself from me, and yet, during our first meeting, I struck him with my fist, breaking off our engagement and squandering the chance I had been given.

 

If only I hadn't done that and clung to my image of him as Damian, I would have undoubtedly been able to connect with him.

 

Unlike in the past, there was no need for me to be lost in my emotions, nor did I want to leave his side. The information I possessed and my relationships with him and other men had changed. My starting point was different. Failure was only possible if I repeated my previous mistakes by running away.

 

'Damian, just wait. There won't be any more mistakes.'

 

Now I knew what he was worried about. I didn’t before, so I couldn’t understand why he was trying to distance himself from me, which made me resent him. 

 

I knew that I, Elena Edelweiss, was capable of tending to all his concerns. I had slain deities and defied the laws of nature, even if it was due to the forceful influence of fate. If anything went astray, I would eliminate any obstacles in my path.

 

What I needed to do now was plan ahead what kind of happy life the two of us would live in the future.

 

“Hailey?”

 

“Yes? What is it?”

 

“How many children should we have? One is too little, don't you think? Hm… Maybe at least three? Perhaps four would be sufficient?"

 

“Oh my. What did I just hear?”

 

I chuckled.

 

Meanwhile, Hailey seemed weary of her own position. As a result, some serious family plans spilled from my lips as Hailey listened attentively.

 

Hailey was perplexed by my transformation and questioned if her ladyship was the same Elena she had always known. It was to the point where she wondered if the invitation letter from Count Kraus had a brainwashing spell cast upon it.

 

Time passed as we conversed, and the carriage continued its journey toward Count Kraus' manor.

 

***

 

Did the world look different because my mindset had changed?

 

At first, the Count’s manor was simply repulsive, but now it almost felt like I was returning to a warm home after a long time.

 

In my first life, this place was a chamber of torture where Damian inflicted various wounds upon me. In my second life, it was where 'he' and his lover resided together, so just looking in the estate’s direction had left me exasperated and distressed.

 

Isn't it quite amusing that a place like this now feels like home simply because my mindset has shifted?

 

I slowly walked towards his room, guided by my past experiences. Unlike before, I felt no nervousness. Instead, I was filled with a sense of tranquility, as if I had finally found a place where I belonged.

 

Isn't there an idiom that said a person’s house smelled like their owner? 

 

Although it was too vast to be called a mere house, and many people dwelled within the manor, I could sense traces of him everywhere.

 

Following his distinctive scent, I was led to the same spot. Standing in front of the door, I noticed that my hands were trembling.'

 

'Behind this door is the “him” that I know. Not Damian.'

 

After a long time, my body automatically responded to his scent and presence. I quickly covered my grin with both hands, trying to calm my excitement.'

 

Huuuu… Fuuu…

 

Taking several deep breaths, I managed to somewhat steady my racing heart. I patted my composed face gently until it returned to normal and glanced at Hailey.

 

"Hailey, how do I look now? Is there anything unusual?"

 

"The most unusual thing right now is your exuberance... Well, you look as beautiful as always!"

 

'"I shouldn't just be beautiful! I should be the most beautiful in the North, no, in the entire continent!"

 

Hailey covered her mouth with her hand, almost disgusted by what I had just said.

 

“Ack, Miss, aren’t you embarrassed…? You are indeed stunning, but saying that about yourself is..."

 

'These are the words you once said to me!!'

 

I fixed my hair a bit and signaled to Hailey that I was ready. Hailey nodded and knocked twice to let the people inside know that I had arrived, and carefully opened the door.

 

Previously, I had rushed at him and thrown a punch at his chin as soon as the door opened. Shortly after, we immediately announced our annulment without exchanging a single word.

 

But now, how would he react if I entered the room as the original Elena Edelweiss?

 

As the door swung open, I caught sight of his jet-black hair, as dark as the night itself.

 

He sat on the chair, donning a black suit adorned with his family's golden emblem. The moment the door opened, he had exuded an energy akin to an erupting volcano. Yet, at some point, he managed to quell it, transforming into the embodiment of a composed noble.

 

His pupils, sharp like a dragon's, locked onto mine, and our eyes met.

 

The color was always beautiful. When I looked into the eyes of the past Damian, it held no meaning for me. But now, the color felt radiant and warm, like the sun.

 

How many minutes had passed since our gaze connected? To me, that fleeting moment seemed like an eternity, yet the clock on the wall indicated less than a minute had transpired.

 

He offered me a gentle smile.

 

Had I ever witnessed this expression before? Undoubtedly, there had been numerous occasions. He always wore that smile in the presence of his lover. Except for one instance, when he took his last breath in my arms, he had never bestowed such a smile upon me.

 

However, in this moment, his smile was naturally directed at me. This alone seemed to compensate for all the animosity and anguish I had endured prior to regressing.

 

In return, I reciprocated with a soft smile that reached my ears.

 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lady Edelweiss. I am Damian Kraus, the eldest son of the Kraus family."

 

The instant I heard those words accompanied by his smile, it felt as though my heart ceased beating. Reason abandoned my mind, leaving only an empty space filled with instinctual desires. Fortunately, due to my newfound divinity, my body refrained from acting on those imaginations.

 

I couldn't even fathom how he would regard me if my imagination were laid bare before him.

Although my mind was entangled with reason and desire, one thing remained certain.

 

It was that I was elated with what he just said even if it was for formality’s sake.

 

'Am I this easy of a woman?'