Chapter 9: No Clue (Four)

The sweetness lingered in my mouth, and even my saliva tasted sweet. Yet, I couldn't resist indulging in more of the delectable desserts before me.

'How can I refuse this…'

These were the most delicious desserts I had ever tasted. Moreover, how could I refuse him when he personally offered them to me? I felt compelled to savor every bite.

Typically, men disliked women who ate too much. However, he continued to smile and placed more desserts on my plate, as if evaluating their quality.

Naturally, as a woman, I was conscious of my weight, so I did try to decline since consuming everything would be risky, but...

“How cute.”

Damian’s words made me lose control of myself. I devoured the sweets that had piled up on my plate.

Although he had muttered those words unconsciously, he genuinely meant them. Hearing him describe me as "cute" fueled my motivation even further.

The desserts disappeared into my stomach. 

No matter how many times I repeated my life, I still lived as a noblewoman. As such, I didn't want to reveal this side of myself to my partner. However, it couldn't be helped. I had already paid the price.

In the end, I couldn't refuse him. I smiled as I consumed all the sweets he had given me.

'It was delicious… But still! Stilllll!'

My embarrassment refused to dissipate. Steam seemed to rise above my head, uncontrollably. Moreover, his compliment had caused my face to turn red.

“Ngh, mm…”

Feeling embarrassed, I couldn't bear to lift my head. He was the reason for my current state, yet he continued to smile, seemingly amused. It was a pleasant sight, but I couldn't help but feel annoyed.

"You seem to like sweet things more than I thought, Lady Edelweiss. I guess I did well to prepare in advance."

"Umm... Nnngh! T-Thank you... I'm sure these were things that Young Master also liked a lot, but you gave them all to me... When I come next time, there's a famous parfait shop in our territory, I'll make sure to bring one of each kind from there!"

Was it a small act of defiance? I knew he didn't like sweets, yet I brought it up.

Seemingly flustered by my offer, his face momentarily hardened. I could imagine his displeasure as he reluctantly consumed the parfaits.

'Will he refuse? Or force himself to eat them? It’s a gift from his fiancée, after all, so he can’t refuse.'

That's right, I knew a lot about him, his likes, and his dislikes.

Despite becoming a Swordmaster capable of surpassing even the heavens, he had a fear of phantoms. He was extremely vulnerable to alcohol, yet he didn't stop until he was intoxicated.

Using the exclusive knowledge I possessed, I glimpsed various aspects of him that I had never seen before.

It ignited a fire within me, brightening my spirits like a roaring bonfire.

My heartbeat began to stabilize as I adjusted to being alone with him in this room. It still raced faster than usual, but it was no longer to the point where an accident could arise from either party succumbing to their desires.

He seemed to notice my increased ease, as I could sense that he was preparing to discuss our arrangement. I had a general idea of what he wanted to say. I already knew his intentions.

However, no matter how much I loved him, I had no intention of hearing him out. I was certain he wanted to end our engagement.

He opened his mouth.

“Um, Lady Edelweiss. Pardon me, but would you allow me to address you by your name?”

“Ah, yes! Of course! Then, can I call you Lord Damian?”

“Yes, go ahead. Although it’s not official, we are still engaged. So long as it’s not a curse word, it doesn’t matter what we call each other.”

“E-Engaged… That’s right, we are engaged.” 

The moment I heard him say we were engaged, a fire ignited in my chest. I wanted to put a ring on both our fingers right this instant and solidify our relationship. It was a shame that he had not escaped his fate yet.

'Yes, that damned fate.'

Fate was an intrinsic force in this world, preordained and necessary. Every being, be it a transcendentalist or a god, was entangled in the intricate web of fate. My talent, the breakup with Damian in my previous life, and the subsequent events I experienced—all of it was the manifestation of fate, following the decree of heaven.

And Damian, or rather "he," standing before me now, was aware of his own fate. He knew how Damian would fall and how his life would unfold.

The Damian I knew had not undergone regression like I did. The present Damian was inherently distinct from the other Damian. His soul radiated brightly in my eyes.

The deity, whom I had vanquished in my previous life, had disclosed that he hailed from another world.

Fate was woven into the fabric of original existence in this world. Consequently, he was an outsider to the laws of nature. Having arrived in this world alongside the foreign deity, he remained distant from the deterrent force of fate.

He was not aware of this fact. Moreover, since he currently lacked the strength to escape fate's grasp, he was more cautious of it than anyone else.

Later on, he escaped the fate of “Damian” and became a transcendentalist just like myself. It was still early now, but he’d definitely become one and I’d make it happen somehow.

With the information I possessed, I knew his troubles would become his obstacles. I desired to address them proactively, but if I grew too impatient, I could end up ruining things. Handling them one by one was the only way, as he would inevitably discover them sooner or later. After all, he was a perceptive man.

'But don’t say those words.'

"Elena, I understand how you must be feeling right now. It’s natural that you’re reluctant to be engaged to someone like me, who’s as good as a stranger.”

'No.'

'If you truly know how I feel, don’t push me away.'

I rushed to deny it, but my feelings couldn’t reach him.

There was still too much distance between us for my heart to reach his. I was also inexperienced in bridging that gap and conveying my true emotions. Despite living a long life, romance remained unfamiliar territory to me.

Love was foreign to me in my first life. In my second life, I barely tasted its sweetness before it slipped through my fingers. Now, in this third life, I felt the power of love intensely.

"You don't have to force yourself to say it that. I feel the same way."

Why does it hurt so much, knowing full well that he would reject me?

I knew the answer to that question. It was because of love. I was hurting because I loved him.

However, pain was pain. I understood why he was pushing me away, yet I still felt compelled to ask him the question.

 "No, I mean, does it mean that Lord Damian dislikes the engagement with me...?"

"No, of course not. How could I dislike the engagement with you? Marrying you is like a dream come true for every man in the Empire."

Hearing his words brought back my happiness. I knew it was just empty flattery, but love had a way of stirring one's emotions.

He continued speaking.

For a moment, I contemplated whether I should answer his question truthfully. However, considering that he and I had only just met today, I decided to keep my mouth shut. The amount of time we had spent together in this life was too brief.

Fortunately, he didn't immediately broach the topic of annulment. Instead, he encouraged me to speak my mind. My past selves from my first and second lives might not have understood his intentions, but I, for certain, knew what he was aiming for.

'Which is why this trick won’t work.'

"I don't believe that a marriage will be unhappy just because the couple doesn't love each other. My parents did, and it's probably the same for other noble families. However, unlike them, we have the power of choice."

“What do you mean?”

"Choosing a stranger whom you have never mixed words with as a lifelong partner is a challenging task. Even though strategic marriages may be prevalent among nobles, our relationship is not a simple strategic marriage, is it? Elena and I have the right to choose, unlike those who were bound by family obligations."

I could sense that the climax of the conversation was approaching. It didn't take him long to urge me to make my own decision.

"I will respect whatever answer Elena gives. Please feel free to speak up. Our current meeting is not only for getting to know each other before the engagement, but also for expressing our thoughts about this engagement."

'I should be able to say it now.'

This was all about the concept of engagement. He wouldn't be able to discern whether my answer stemmed from love or a desire for financial gain. Regardless of his declarations of love, I could make my decision based on the options he presented: to cancel the engagement or to proceed with it.

Of course, my answer had already been solidified.

"Then, shall we proceed with our engagement? Officially."

“What?”

Hearing the uneasiness in his voice left a void in my heart. 

'But you asked me to choose, and so I did. Just so you know, there's no turning back now.'