Chapter 36: Whimsy

 

“Thank you. Take care on your way.”

 

“Yes, enjoy your meal.”

 

I received the porridge I ordered for Eun-ha from the delivery person.

 

After closing the front door and heading back to her room, I found Eun-ha, my girlfriend, sitting propped up against the headboard of her bed.

 

“It came faster than I expected. I thought it would take at least 20 more minutes.”

 

“Right? Wait a second. I’ll set it up immediately.”

 

I placed the bowl on a foldable table on the bed.

 

I was planning to feed Eun-ha the porridge after unwrapping it.

 

Noticing it seemed hot, I scooped a little and brought it to Eun-ha’s lips.

 

“Say ‘ah’. I’ll feed you.”

 

“I, I can eat by myself.”

 

“Do you want to?”

 

I had always thought it was natural to feed my girlfriend porridge when she was sick. But if she wanted to eat by herself...

 

I handed the spoon back to Eun-ha. She cooled the hot porridge by blowing on it.

 

She only took a little at a time, but watching Eun-ha eat made me inexplicably pleased.

 

“Don’t stare so much... It’s embarrassing.”

 

“Is this what they mean when they say just watching someone eat can make you happy? You look so cute when you eat.”

 

“Really... If you keep looking at me like that, I’ll get too shy to eat.”

 

“Are you indirectly asking me to feed you? Should I?”

 

“No...! I’ll eat on my own.”

 

Eun-ha looked at me with a slightly annoyed expression.

 

“Is it good? It’s the Samgye-tang porridge you like, right?”

 

“Yes. I usually eat Samgye-tang porridge when I’m not feeling well.”

 

“I don’t think I would have ever thought of Samgye-tang.”

 

“What kind of porridge does Han-gyeol like?”

 

“Me? I like tuna vegetable porridge. Why?”

 

“Next time you’re sick, I’ll make you tuna vegetable porridge.”

 

“You’re not just buying it, you’re actually making it for me?”

 

Eun-ha nodded her head.

 

“I guess I should fall ill sometime soon.”

 

“Don’t even joke about that. Don’t get sick.”

 

“Why? Oh, because if I’m hurt, it hurts your heart as well? Is that why you’re fluttering?”

 

“Really... Stop mentioning things like that!”

 

I always thought it was nonsensical when people said they wanted to be sick in place of the ones they loved.

 

But now, with the girl I liked feeling unwell, I genuinely wished I could take on her pain.

 

“Eun-ha, recover quickly.”

 

“Why? Because it hurts your heart too when I’m unwell?”

 

“Exactly. It feels as if my heart is tearing apart.”

 

Eun-ha, perhaps a bit embarrassed, didn’t reply.

 

Then, in a soft voice, she spoke to me.

 

“Don’t just blurt out embarrassing things like that...”

 

“Alright, alright. Since it’s embarrassing, just eat your porridge.”

 

My gaze might have been burdensome, but Eun-ha quietly emptied her bowl.

 

However, when there was about a spoonful left, she sat the spoon down.

 

“You left a spoonful. Not hungry anymore?”

 

“No... My arm hurts, so I can’t hold the spoon.”

 

Did she want me to feed her?

 

I couldn’t just let that slide.

 

“In that case, I’ll take care of the cleanup.”

 

As I swiftly went to pick up the spoonful left, Eun-ha stopped me.

 

“Wait...! I want to eat the remaining bit.”

 

“But didn’t you say your arm hurts?”

 

“Yes, my arm hurts.”

 

Eun-ha, true to her nature, never said the most crucial thing.

 

This was so adorable that the corners of my mouth involuntarily curved up.

 

“Han-gyeol...! Really...!”

 

“Huh? Why? I’m pretty clueless. I can’t figure out what you mean by that.”

 

“Ah- Feed me! You can feed me just a spoonful, right?”

 

“Oh, that’s what you meant? Ah, you should’ve just said so. I would’ve fed you from the start.”

 

“I was embarrassed...”

 

“That’s understandable.”

 

I did as Eun-ha wished and brought the last spoonful to her lips.

 

“Here- Say ‘ah’.”

 

I carefully slid the spoon into the slightly opened mouth of Eun-ha.

 

The way Eun-ha chewed and swallowed the porridge was unbearably cute.

 

“Did you, by any chance, want me to feed you the porridge from the start?”

 

“Not really. I’m not a child. I can eat porridge by myself.”

 

“Alright, alright. I’ll fetch the medicine. Where is it?”

 

“It’s on the dining table. Let’s go together. There’s also cleaning up to do.”

 

“Stay seated. I’ll handle the cleanup.”

 

As I started to pick up the table and head out, Eun-ha reluctantly got up from the bed.

 

“Lie down.”

 

“But it’s strange for you to clean up after I ate.”

 

“I’m your boyfriend. I can do at least this much.”

 

“Even so...! I feel guilty being taken care of all the time.”

 

Eun-ha seemed to feel burdened being pampered like a child.

 

To me, it was alright if she acted a bit more spoiled, but considering Eun-ha’s personality, her response was natural. She was the type who disliked depending on others or being a bother.

 

In the end, after quickly tidying up in the kitchen, I returned to the room with Eun-ha. Eun-ha popped the pill I brought into her mouth and quickly swallowed it down with water.

 

“Ugh... it’s bitter.”

 

“It seems like your fever has subsided a bit. Don’t you have a thermometer?”

 

“I think it’s somewhere, but I can’t remember.”

 

“Well, I can check with my hand then.”

 

I gently placed my hand on Eun-ha’s forehead.

 

I couldn’t measure the exact temperature, but it didn’t feel much different from mine.

 

“How is it?”

 

“It feels about the same as mine, but maybe I’m just overthinking. Does your head hurt now?”

 

“It’s a little throbbing, but it’s much better than before.”

 

“That’s a relief. You’ve eaten and taken your medicine, so try to get some rest now. I’ll watch you sleep and then leave.”

 

“Huh? Don’t you need to go home too?”

 

“Leaving my sick girlfriend behind pricks my conscience.”

 

“I’m sorry for being such a bother. You must have had things to do as well.”

 

I playfully tapped Eun-ha’s forehead as she made a bitter expression.

 

“Ouch-”

 

“Instead of apologizing, you should say thank you.”

 

“Of course, I’m grateful. But it’s fine, you can go home.”

 

Hearing Eun-ha’s words, I softly chuckled and stroked her hair. Eun-ha, slightly blushing, continued to enjoy my touch.

 

“Do you feel uncomfortable with me being so close?”

 

“Not at all! I’m truly grateful. I’m just sorry that’s why.”

 

While continuing to caress Eun-ha’s hair, I said,

 

“I want to be by Eun-ha’s side right now. But if you feel uncomfortable or burdened, I’ll head home. If you’re saying that because you don’t want to bother me, but you’d like me to stay, I’ll stay. Which one is it?”

 

Hearing this, Eun-ha slowly pulled the blanket up to her chin. After hesitating for a moment, she cautiously shared her true feelings.

 

“I’d like you to stay...”

 

“Then, I’ll stay.”

 

“Han-gyeol.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Just because I said this, doesn’t mean you always have to cater to my whims.”

 

“Huh? What do you mean?”

 

“If something important comes up for you, you should go and attend to it. I won’t ever be upset. I’ll never take it for granted. Understand?”

 

I was a bit surprised at Eun-ha’s words.

 

I didn’t expect her to be so forthright about her feelings.

 

Yet, I couldn’t hide my immense happiness at her candidness. Smiling in response to Eun-ha’s honest heart, I said,

 

“Alright, I promise.”

 

“Then, today... I’ll lean on you a bit more.”

 

“Sure. Anything else you want?”

 

“Hold my hand... until I fall asleep.”

 

Eun-ha gently pulled her hand out from under the blanket.

 

I held onto Eun-ha’s hand and didn’t let go.

 

“Han-gyeol.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I feel a bit sleepy, maybe because of the medicine.”

 

“Alright, you should get some good rest.”

 

“You won’t let go of my hand even if I fall asleep, right? Even if I let go, don’t you let go.”

 

“Okay, I won’t.”

 

“But if you think I won’t wake up for a while, you can go home.”

 

“I will. Sleep with peace of mind.”

 

Eun-ha, with half her face covered by the blanket, continued to speak.

 

“I really like you Han-gyeol...”

 

I flinched at Eun-ha’s sudden confession.

 

“Alright, alright. You should go to sleep.”

 

“Don’t try to change the topic.”

 

Why was she so sharp at times like this?

 

“I really like you Han-gyeol. So much that it feels unbearable.”

 

“You’re quite bold with your words...”

 

“I know, right? But if I don’t say it out loud, my heart keeps racing.”

 

Every time I heard Eun-ha’s words, my face turned red. Holding her hand, I was trapped, unable to escape this situation.

 

“Ah- Han-gyeol, your face is turning red. Are you embarrassed?”

 

“How can I not be when you say such embarrassing things?”

 

“But what can I do if I really like Han-gyeol that much?”

 

Eun-ha’s eyes slowly began to close as if sleep was creeping in.

 

“I really like Eun-ha too.”

 

“Mm... I know...”

 

“I’m glad you do.”

 

At my words, Eun-ha let out a soft chuckle.

 

And then, in a very faint voice, she said,

 

“But I like you more.”

 

With those words, Eun-ha’s eyes fully closed.

 

When I didn’t respond, Eun-ha’s breathing became soft and rhythmic as she fell asleep. Even in her peaceful slumber, she held onto my hand tightly. I continued to look at her face, our hands intertwined.

 

I didn’t know why she was so beautiful.

 

I didn’t know why she was so lovable.

 

Although we couldn’t measure the depth of each other’s feelings numerically, I believed we both felt the same way. But no matter how much I thought about it, I also believed Eun-ha’s feelings for me couldn’t possibly surpass my feelings for her.

 

However, if by any chance, Eun-ha loved me even more than I loved her...

 

There would be no happiness greater than that.

 

“Eun-ha, I still love you more.”

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

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