Chapter 55: Gaze (2)

 

We’d ridden every exciting ride at the amusement park.

 

Without any breaks, we had been on rides until hunger set in.

 

“Should we get something to eat now, Eun-ha?”

 

“What time is it? Are you very hungry, Han-gyeol?”

 

“We skipped lunch, didn’t we? I’m kind of hungry.”

 

“By the way, there must be a lot of people around when we eat and go home. Maybe we should just leave now?”

 

“Now? That might be more comfortable, but are you okay, Eun-ha? You haven’t eaten anything.”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’d actually prefer to just eat at home.”

 

Just imagining commuting during rush hour, especially on Line 2, sent shivers down my spine.

 

If we left now, we might not get to sit, but we could at least head back comfortably.

 

“Let’s do that then. I am hungry, but it’s not like I need to eat right this second.”

 

“Did I drag you around too much? Is there anything else you’d like to do?”

 

“Not at all? I enjoyed the rides. In fact, I prefer going home after just the right amount of fun.”

 

“Then let’s head home. You’re really okay with that?”

 

“Let’s go.”

 

It was an extremely efficient date.

 

“Then let’s go to my place. What should we have for dinner?”

 

“What would you like, Eun-ha? I’ll make it for you.”

 

“Really? Well... We both walked quite a bit, so let’s just order something.”

 

“Since Eunwoo Hyung will be there, shall we ask him?”

 

“Hmm... We can do that?”

 

Eun-ha’s response was noncommittal.

 

Couldn’t we just call and ask?

 

“Isn’t he home?”

 

“I’m not sure. Let’s just take the subway.”

 

I was slightly skeptical, but we left the amusement park and immediately boarded the subway.

 

After riding the subway for about an hour, we found ourselves waiting at a bus stop.

 

There, we eagerly made up for all the conversations we couldn’t have while on the subway car.

 

“Today was so much fun, Han-gyeol. It was short, but we really rode everything there was to ride.”

 

“Right? There weren’t many people around. It seems like everything just goes smoothly when I’m with you, Eun-ha.”

 

“Really? Then stick with me every day, and you might even win the lottery.”

 

“Want to try picking six numbers from 1 to 45?”

 

“Aren’t we too young to buy lottery tickets?”

 

“Oh, right.”

 

I used to buy one every week in my old life.

 

“What would you do if you won the lottery, Eun-ha?”

 

“Me? Hmm... I’ve never really thought about it. How much are we talking about?”

 

“Maybe about 1.5 billion won after taxes?”

 

Eun-ha seemed to ponder my question for a moment.

 

“Then I’d buy a house and save the rest.”

 

“Where would you buy a house?”

 

“I don’t need to be in Seoul. I like our neighborhood just fine.”

 

“Don’t you want to do anything else?”

 

“It’d be nice to travel all over the place with Han-gyeol, wouldn’t it?”

 

“Will you be sponsoring our travel expenses?”

 

“Just trust your Noona.”

 

At Eun-ha’s words, I burst out laughing with a snicker.

 

“What about you, Han-gyeol? What do you want to do?”

 

“Me? Well, I think I’d do the same as Eun-ha, buy a house. Our neighborhood is nice, but I’d prefer if my work was close to home. And to be honest, I’d like to buy a car. Not a Porsche or Ferrari, but just a new car. And the rest, I’d probably save, like Eun-ha. Or maybe invest in a small commercial building or studio apartment for retirement? Though that might not be enough, right?”

 

As I rambled on, Eun-ha couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“Why so specific?”

 

“Dreams need to be specific to come true.”

 

“That’s true. Oh- Han-gyeol, you’ve chapped lips.”

 

Eun-ha, exchanging gazes with me, let her eyes fall to my lips.

 

“Really? Hold on, I have lip balm in my bag.”

 

“Wait. I also have it. Let me apply it for you. Come here.”

 

Suddenly, Eun-ha grabbed my head and applied her lip balm to my lips. Her face came so unexpectedly close that I was momentarily startled, but she calmly went on applying it as if it was nothing.

 

This was practically an indirect kiss... but she seemed unfazed by the implication.

 

“Han-gyeol, that should do it.”

 

“Thanks. Was it that bad?”

 

“A little? Ah- but this one’s tinted.”

 

“Eh? So my lips are red now?”

 

“Not red, more like a subtle cherry color?”

 

“Oh, right.”

 

What was going on? It felt like something huge just happened.

 

Was I overthinking a simple act of applying lip balm?

 

Probably, right?

 

“Ah! The bus is here. Let’s get on.”

 

Eun-ha stood up from the bus stop bench.

 

She casually waved her hand a few times towards the road.

 

Even after we got on the bus, I couldn’t help but ponder over Eun-ha’s actions.

 

Was that flirting?

 

Or was I just reading too much into it?

 

These nagging questions, I wanted to leave them on the bus, but instead, I dragged them all the way to Eun-ha’s house.

 

No one was home when we took off our shoes and entered.

 

“Nobody’s here?”

 

“I texted my brother on the bus; he said he’d be home in about an hour.”

 

This was awkward. Memories of the last time just Eun-ha and I were alone in her house flashed in my mind.

 

“Han-gyeol, what do you want to order? Chicken? Pizza?”

 

“I’m actually feeling more like pizza than chicken.”

 

“Any particular pizza you’re craving?”

 

Eun-ha’s behavior was the same as always.

 

Even the act of applying lip balm to my lips probably didn’t carry any special meaning.

 

Considering Eun-ha’s thoughtfulness, it was likely just a kind gesture.

 

But what had changed was my own feelings.

 

Ever since that moment, my gaze kept drifting to Eun-ha’s lips.

 

A kiss? The thought hadn’t crossed my mind would be a lie.

 

If one asked if I wanted to, I’d nod vigorously without hesitation.

 

Yet, the reason I hadn’t done it was all about ‘the atmosphere’.

 

They say the atmosphere is important for a first kiss, but I couldn’t quite grasp what that atmosphere should be.

 

The first kiss with Eun-ha would surely be a memory to recall until my dying day.

 

Surely, she would feel the same.

 

That was why I didn’t want it to be just a clumsy memory.

 

I wanted it to happen at the right moment, with the right atmosphere.

 

“Han-gyeol?”

 

“Ah, personally, I like potato pizza.”

 

“Got it, potato pizza it is.”

 

“Ah, and is it okay to ask Eunwoo Hyung if he could bring it as a takeout?”

 

“Um, that might be better. I’ll change clothes and call him. Just relax on the couch for a bit.”

 

Eun-ha went into her room, and I flopped down onto the sofa with a sigh.

 

It was a big trouble.

 

A house where I was alone with my girlfriend.

 

It couldn’t be more perfect as a place for a first kiss.

 

No, wait.

 

I shouldn’t be thinking like this.

 

I tried to quiet the turmoil in my head as I waited for Eun-ha.

 

“Han-gyeol, you should change into something comfortable too.”

 

“Uh? I always feel bad borrowing clothes from Eunwoo Hyung.”

 

“Why don’t you just leave some comfortable clothes here from now on?”

 

“Doesn’t it seem like I come over to your place too often?”

 

“Hmm... Maybe? But my family likes having you over.”

 

“Aren’t they worried about us being alone?”

 

“Not at all. Mom says she feels relieved when you’re here with me instead of me being alone.”

 

...To think they trust me that much.

 

I should live up to that trust, yet my gaze still drifts to Eun-ha’s lips.

 

This was really a problem.

 

I wished Eunwoo Hyung would hurry up.

 

“When did you say Eunwoo Hyung is coming?”

 

“He said about an hour. He’ll bring the pizza too, so it won’t take much longer.”

 

“I see.”

 

‘Can’t he get here a bit faster?’

 

“Ah, while we’re on the subject, let’s just keep a toothbrush for you in the bathroom.”

 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just carry a portable toothbrush set.”

 

“You can’t always bring your bag with you. Hang on to the clothes...!”

 

Eun-ha brought me a tracksuit set from Eunwoo Hyung’s room.

 

“Change into this.”

 

“Okay. Sorry for the trouble every time.”

 

“Don’t be. My brother was even considering buying a tracksuit for you.”

 

“Really? That’s very kind of him.”

 

“It’s because you’ve been so good to me and my family, Han-gyeol. Don’t feel burdened.”

 

“Alright. I’ll be back in a flash.”

 

I quickly changed and, as I came out, I bumped into Eun-ha heading to the bathroom.

 

“Wow- you changed fast. Come and see. This is your toothbrush.”

 

Next to her family’s toothbrushes, a new pink one had been added.

 

“A pink toothbrush?”

 

“That was the only spare one we had.”

 

“It’s fine. I don’t mind at all. I’ll use it well.”

 

As I was about to check out my toothbrush, I realized Eun-ha hadn’t left the bathroom.

 

“I’m going to brush my teeth.”

 

“Brushing? We didn’t eat anything, did we?”

 

“Just feel a bit stale in the mouth. You wanna brush too?”

 

“Brush my teeth?”

 

“Yeah, brush.”

 

It was a bit odd, but carried by the momentum, we stood side by side and brushed our teeth.

 

We each squeezed toothpaste onto our brushes and brushed in a somewhat awkward silence.

 

Keep it together.

 

What’s there to be embarrassed about brushing teeth together?

 

After three short minutes of brushing, I was the first to rinse my mouth.

 

Eun-ha followed, lightly holding the back of her hair as she rinsed, her neckline revealed in the process was subtly seductive, and I had to look away.

 

I hung up my toothbrush without a word, puzzled by the unexpected shift in the atmosphere.

 

Unable to bear the awkward silence any longer, I broke it.

 

“I’ll need to reapply lip balm after brushing.”

 

“What kind of lip balm do you use, Han-gyeol?”

 

“Me? Just the most common type... the sky-blue one.”

 

“Doesn’t that have any color?”

 

“Nope. It doesn’t.”

 

“I want to try yours.”

 

“Okay? Take a seat on the sofa.”

 

I pulled out the sky-blue lip balm from my bag.

 

Eun-ha sat obediently on the sofa, slightly pursing her lips.

 

“I’ll apply it.”

 

“Okay.”

 

I twisted off the cap and carefully brought my lip balm to Eun-ha’s lips.

 

With extreme caution, I stroked her lips with the balm, back and forth.

 

I never realized it before, but applying lip balm to someone else’s lips was an intensely shy endeavor.

 

Eun-ha must have felt the same.

 

For a brief moment, my hand trembled with a thrill intense enough to form beads of sweat.

 

My heart started to pound faster, and Eun-ha’s cheeks were slowly turning rosy.

 

In this space where only the two of us existed, our breathing was the only sound.

 

Our faces were so close, that our breaths touched each other’s skin. My gaze kept drifting back to Eun-ha’s lips, which seemed irresistibly soft.

 

Even after I had finished applying it, Eun-ha kept her eyes closed.

 

It was a sensation I had never experienced before, unlearned and undefined.

 

But I was certain.

 

The atmosphere for a first kiss was now.

 

So I just put my lips on Eun-ha’s.

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

 

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