Chapter 20

In the middle of the vast hall stood a long and majestic dining table.

Vivian, sitting alone at its far end, resembled a solitary duck adrift on a wide river.

The simple yet carefully prepared dishes before her remained untouched.

Even the fragrant aroma wafting from the food no longer stirred her appetite.

It had been like this lately.

Her gaze upon the food was empty, and deep emptiness filled her heart.

“...”

Vivian picked up her fork, then weakly set it down again.

The space surrounding the dining table was vast and silent.

The family portraits hanging on the walls were still elegant, but they had left her side long ago.

Every time she saw the smiles of her family in the portraits, the warmth and love from when they were present painfully resurfaced.

Those memories had now become her pain—recollections that made reality even more desolate.

Half a year had passed since her mother, who had stayed by her side until the end, departed. In that time, she had been so busy trying to set right Rondor, which had become the family’s legacy, that she had no time to think...

...Yet no matter how much time passed, she couldn’t get used to mealtime. Being alone at this moment was dreadful every time.

Mealtime had always been a time when the family gathered together, filled with conversation and laughter.

Her father, smiling as he conversed with her mother. Her brother, sternly telling her to eat more while cutting her food for her…

Vivian had loved those moments.

But now, all of that had vanished, leaving only silence as quiet as death.

Silence flowed along the wide walls and pressed in on her, and within it, Vivian was being consumed by loneliness.

Will this pain ever end someday?

When things were tough, Vivian always recalled Kylo Allen’s provocations.

She remembered his words, insulting her family, saying that weaklings like you were destined to lose.

Last time, consoling him as he suffered during the execution was a kind of whim. She couldn’t leave him alone because her conscience pricked her.

And when mealtime came, she regretted that choice.

In the moments when she struggled with loneliness, she couldn’t hate the Allen family more.

‘Conscience or whatever, I should have just left him…’

Vivian sighed and quietly tore off a piece of bread and put it in her mouth.

Since Rondor was what her father, mother, and brother had sacrificed their lives to protect, she now had to protect this family.

Lately, she wanted to revive the family, even if only out of resentment.

If she couldn’t, all this pain would be meaningless.

But even so, sometimes she closed her eyes and imagined.

She wished someone was sitting beside her.

A gentle hand stroking her hair, a warm voice calling her name.

Someone who would listen to her daily stories and empathize with her.

Then perhaps this moment would be a little more bearable.

“...”

Even these days, she could hear the whispers of the maids.

They envied her for inheriting the vast territory of Roctana, saying that all the rich and expansive lands of the south belonged to her.

Maybe they were right. There might not be a 14-year-old girl who held more in her hands than Vivian.

But even she, who had more than anyone else, lacked the most important thing—a person to be with.

.

.

.

Vivian finished her meal without eating even half of her food.

She couldn’t eat anymore. She had no appetite, and even a sip of water felt unbearably heavy as it went down her throat.

Eating alone in a quiet room wasn’t simply a matter of filling her stomach.

It was a torture that confirmed her own loneliness. She wanted to escape from that torture now.

At that moment, Sena, the maid who had been standing quietly, approached Vivian.

She hesitated, fidgeting, trying to fulfill her duty. Gently lowering her voice, the maid spoke.

“...Lady Vivian, you’ve eaten too little. You’ll harm your health. Shouldn’t you eat a bit more?”

Vivian slowly lifted her eyes to look at the maid.

“It’s alright, Sena. I can’t eat anymore.”

Maid Sena hesitated. Unlike usual, her worried expression seemed to reflect Vivian’s condition.

Well, Vivian felt it too.

Day by day, she had been eating less and less, and now even the flesh on her arms and legs was beginning to fade away.

Vivian knew her body would grow weaker, but if she forced in a little more food, she felt like she would just throw it back up.

“But Lady Vivian...”

“Then, w-would you eat with me?”

“...”

At Sena’s continued urging, Vivian asked.

Only after she said that did Sena step back as if troubled.

“How could I...”

“I-I’m saying it’s okay.”

“...I’ve already eaten.”

“Y-you can eat just a little more.”

“....”

In the end, Sena did not answer.

Vivian knew the reason.

Recently, there was no one willing to stand by her side.

Should she call it tightrope walking? There was no one trying to grab onto the lifeline that was Vivian.

As time passed, factions were forming, and Vivian could see it as clearly as a flower field under the sun.

They were cautious, not knowing what might happen if they appeared to be close to Vivian.

Of course, not all factions were hostile to Vivian, and some were busy taking care of their own interests, but... whatever the case, choosing Vivian wasn’t very attractive.

Understanding this, Vivian snorted.

Then she stood up from her seat.

“...Sorry, Sena. It was a pointless request.”

“...”

Sena couldn’t answer and only blushed.

Leaving Sena behind, Vivian tried to exit the hall.

“...Huh?”

She hadn’t taken a few steps before the world began to spin.

****

-Tap tap.

I patted my back pocket.

Out of habit, I checked if the charcoal powder I had prepared was there.

It’s been two days since I ground the charcoal I got from Gulk at the smithy, put it in a pouch, and carried it around.

The advice to watch out for food was losing its weight as time went by... but since it was a matter related to my life, I couldn’t completely ignore it.

Lately, instead of staying at the penal unit’s quarters, I had been lingering near Vivian’s castle.

My desire to find that maid I saw back then was greater than anything else... Another reason was that once my suspicions had grown, they wouldn’t leave my mind.

It was an assumption that started from Willas’s words.

-‘Anyway, then this march is an event to make it clear to the people of Roctana who the head of the Rondor family is?’

An event to announce the head of Rondor.

Like our family sometimes did, it was a task to strengthen the responsibility and authority of a ruler.

Vivian was scheduled for that march soon.

It meant solidifying her position as the head.

And at the moment when that parade was scheduled, a mysterious note was delivered to me.

To be careful with food.

“...”

From this, one assumption came to mind.

What if the advice wasn’t meant for me?

What if it was a plea to protect Vivian?

Assuming there was indeed a political enemy targeting Vivian, trying to take her position. Or perhaps wanting to eliminate Vivian Rondor because they didn’t wish to acknowledge her as the head of the family. Wouldn’t it be most efficient to remove Vivian before the march took place?

There would be numerous complications if they acted after she had shown her face to the people of the territory.

Isn’t now the perfect time for Vivian’s enemies to make a move?

“...”

Of course, this was just a hypothesis.

It was an absurd thought.

Assuming the note wasn’t a prank, it’s absurd that they passed that information to me.

Why ask me in the first place? If they wanted to help, there were plenty of people who could assist Vivian.

It’s just like the Duchess, making an absurd request for me to protect Vivian.

I clicked my tongue lightly.

I thought about it for a bit, but it still didn’t make sense.

No matter how ruined Rondor was, poisoning the head of the family was—

“Hurry! Hurry!!”

That’s when I heard the sounds of maids and guards running somewhere.

Dozens of people were urgently shouting and running around.

“...”

I stood there blankly, then as I grasped the situation, my mind went white.

What had happened? I felt like I could guess why.

As soon as that thought occurred, I was already moving.

Pushing aside complicated thoughts, my legs had already started running.

I thought hundreds of times that it wouldn’t be what I expected.

Maybe I was hoping it wasn’t.

***

I followed the maids and guards and ran to the grand hall of Rondor Castle.

This was also where Vivian had her meals.

I had often watched her picking at her food alone here.

And the fact that people were gathering here sank my mood even further.

There were already too many people crowded in the hall.

I pushed through the adults who blocked the way like a wall.

“Lady Vivian! Lady Vivian!!”

Urgent cries echoed from beyond the crowd. As the desperate voices grew louder, I moved faster.

Finally, I broke through the people and entered the hall.

Then I saw her.

Her red hair was disheveled, and her complexion was pale.

“Guh... gasp...”

Drooling, she was desperately gasping for air.

Clutching her throat in agony, she anxiously grabbed the maid’s hem.

Around her, many people stood helplessly.

No one knew what to do, each busy saying their own piece.

One maid said,

“Hurry, bring Scholar Crellin...!”

“Scholar Crellin went out this morning to gather herbs...!”

Another shouted,

“P-pat her back...! Ah, what do we do!!”

“I-I’m patting her back...!”

Yet another...

“The antidote...!”

“How can we talk about an antidote when we don’t even know what poison it is...!!”

I couldn’t believe this situation.

So many people had gathered, yet there wasn’t a single person who could help her.

No, on closer look, some didn’t even want to help.

There were guards just watching for cues.

There were maids retreating, hiding within the crowd.

Soldiers with fearful expressions stared blankly, knights flapped their mouths telling others to quickly spread the news, and people busy calming their racing hearts filled the space.

No one stepped forward to help, and no one wanted to take responsibility for this situation.

A chaotic situation continued where everyone deferred to someone else to act.

And in the midst of it, Vivian was left alone.

As if she still had any consciousness left, her eyes scanned the crowd that had gathered.

“Gasp...! Gasp!”

Her desperately blinking eyes didn’t take long to waver and fill with despair.

Just as it was obvious to me, it must have been obvious to her.

That there was no one here who genuinely wanted to save her.

It was full of people who only didn’t want to take responsibility for this incident.

If she had been more loved within the family, would this have happened?

Maybe it was just my feeling, but it seemed full of people who wanted the head of the family to change through this event.

Realizing this, Vivian’s breathing grew even fainter, as if giving up.

“Gasp... cough...”

The strength in the hands clutching her throat gradually loosened.

Even tears flowed from her red eyes. She shed the most miserable tears, somewhere between despair and resignation.

The last legitimate member of Rondor was dying like that.

It was then that I could no longer hold back and approached her.

“Move...!”

Pushing aside the maids who were uselessly patting Vivian’s back, I took a place beside her.

The crowd gasped, seemingly unable to believe that I had rushed forward.

Considering the relationship between me and Vivian until now, it was a natural reaction.

But without time to think about such things, I placed my hand on the shoulder of Vivian, who was kneeling.

Her eyes, which had been wavering in resignation, slowly turned toward me.

Had we ever been this close before?

Only after I came this close did she, gasping painfully, recognize my presence.

Her gaze changed then.

There was an emotion conveyed without words.

I, who had been in a staring contest with her for the past few months, knew best.

In the face of the fear of death, she was just a girl after all.

Her eyes, forgetting our enmity, were showing vivid fear.

“Bring water!!”

It was too hard to keep looking into those eyes, so I turned my head and commanded the maids.

Only after I made a decision did they start to run around busily.

Immediately after, I looked at Vivian.

Why can’t I just leave Vivian Rondor alone?

Vivian’s enemies attacked her from the shadows.

It was a signal that an internal war within Rondor had begun.

If I save her, I’ll be participating in that war.

I can’t save her and then decide to back out later.

Rational judgment tells me how inefficient this is.

Why am I going out of my way for Vivian, who hates me to death?

But there’s one thing as certain as my actions being inefficient.

Even if I don’t know the reason or the process leading to this conclusion... there was one thing I was certain about regarding my feelings.

It was a feeling I could finally admit.

I wanted Vivian to live.

That was an unwavering truth.

Whether she lost hope in life and despaired, or struggled, and even now, it was the same.

I wanted to see her grow with me.

I don’t know why I want this, or why I should.

But now, I have to protect her.

If I stick to this principle, I won’t regret it later.

If I had come to this feeling a bit sooner, would Vivian not have ingested poison?

Did this happen because I hesitated and watched from the sidelines?

...I don’t know the answer, but I didn’t have time to think now.

I had to focus on correcting what was twisted.

I grabbed the back of Vivian’s neck to steady her and looked straight into her red eyes.

We’re certainly not close enough for awkward words like “Please don’t die” to be exchanged.

If I did, she’d only doubt my sincerity.

So I changed my words to make it easier for her to accept why I was helping.

“...Where do you think you’re going, dying on your own?”

“Gasp... sob...”

“You said you’d watch how I grow. Where do you think you’re going, trying to run away like this...!”

I went to her side, wrapped my arm around her shoulder, and made her lean on me.

Then, I pried open her weakened mouth with my right hand.

I inserted my fingers into her mouth.

For the first time, I felt the soft and moist sensation of her tongue.

Immediately, she bit down quite hard on my fingers.

As if expressing how unbearably unpleasant it was to have my hand forcefully entering her mouth.

But that lasted only a moment.

“You can’t die yet.”

At those words, the strength in her jaw gradually loosened.

“If you die here... that would be too boring.”

As her teeth released my hand, I inserted my fingers deeper past her throat to induce vomiting.

I turned her head to the side to prevent any foreign matter from blocking her airway.

“Urgh!!”

Vivian closed her eyes tightly and retched.

Tears formed and flowed from her scrunched-up eyes.

“Urgh!!”

Trying to vomit while struggling to breathe made her suffer even more.

With each moment she vomited, her face grew paler.

But I had no intention of stopping.

I stirred my fingers more ruthlessly, without consideration, to induce vomiting.

I didn’t care if everyone saw her in this messy state.

I just felt that she needed to live for me to be at ease.

Meanwhile, the maids ran over to me with water in a basin.

I handed them the pouch containing charcoal powder from my back pocket.

“Dissolve it in the water. Then prepare it one cup at a time.”

“Y-Yes!”

They began preparing the charcoal water as I instructed.

Seeing that, I spoke to Vivian.

“Rondor, from now on, you’ll repeat drinking and vomiting until you finish all the water in the basin.”

“...”

“Even if you don’t like it, I’ll force you to drink it, so don’t resist. Got it?”

“...”

Vivian looked up at me. Perhaps dizzy, her gaze couldn’t find my eyes.

“I asked if you understand...!”

As the symptoms of poisoning worsened, I grew anxious. So when I raised my voice...

—Nod.

Vivian nodded her head in agreement.

My anxious heart calmed down a bit.

Starting with her consent, I received a cup of charcoal water from the maid.

“If you can’t see, then feel it. I’ve brought the cup to your lips. Drink all of it.”

Vivian’s body leaned against me. Even while complaining of dizziness, she slowly opened her mouth.

As I tilted the cup, Vivian began to gulp down the water with difficulty.

Her hand was gripping tightly onto the hem of my clothes.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

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