Chapter 191: Physical Contact (3)

Time passed, and the group had gathered in one place, all eyes fixed on the blueprints Arwin had brought.

There were countless diagrams of farming tools and unfamiliar instruments.

Even tools that we knew existed but hadn’t thought to utilize—we were learning how to craft them.

Not only that, but there were also instructions for building watermills, windmills, reservoirs, and more...

A wealth of information on facilities that the village had been lacking.

We couldn’t build everything right away, but these were things worth knowing for the distant future.

Arwin stood at the center, pointing to the villagers.

“...But remember, these are just blueprints. You need to adapt them to Stockpin’s circumstances. For example, this plow design is meant for oxen, but since Stockpin has more horses...”

Her calm, methodical explanation brought back memories of the past, of when we first learned to read and write together.

Back then, she had patiently taught me so much, just like this.

As thanks for her help, I had taught her archery.

Now, all of it felt like distant, flowing memories.

As Arwin continued her explanation, she glanced at me.

Then, as if giving me a lesson, she kept speaking.

“I know the land here is rough. Since sturdier tools are needed, don’t make everything out of wood. If possible, melting down iron to craft farming tools would be more efficient. It might be a hassle, but it’ll be worth it.”

“...”

“...I hope this helps.”

As we stood here, it truly reminded me of those old days.

The only difference was that back then, it had just been the two of us, teaching and learning together.

At Arwin’s words, the group began to examine the blueprints one by one.

Some tilted their heads in confusion, while others slapped their knees as if they’d just had an epiphany.

Some stared intently at the designs, their faces filled with curiosity.

Everyone seemed to be deep in thought, new ideas forming in their minds.

Arwin let them ponder, then approached me.

“Berg?”

“...”

“I haven’t seen Stockpin’s land yet. Could you show me the farmland?”

I nodded and began to walk.

Baran and Gale started to follow, but Arwin gently stopped them.

“I’ll be right back, so please stay here. If you have any questions while looking at the blueprints, feel free to ask me later.”

“...”

Everyone nodded in agreement and stayed in place.

.

.

.

Looking over the reclaimed land, Arwin quietly exhaled in awe.

“...A lot of trees have been cut down.”

She seemed surprised by the changes that had occurred.

I nodded and whispered softly, “...I hope we can make full use of this land.”

Arwin responded to my comment, “We’ll be able to. Especially if we use the blueprints I brought.”

I glanced at her, smiling lightly as I replied, “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks.”

“...”

Arwin blinked at me for a moment before turning her gaze away. She pointed toward a distant patch of land and said, “Berg, could you take me over there? I want to check something.”

I nodded and began to walk. The uneven ground, reshaped by the reclamation, crunched under our feet.

“...Ah.”

Behind me, Arwin suddenly tripped and fell.

She dusted off her legs and stood up with an awkward smile.

“...I just tripped for a moment.”

Seeing she was unharmed, I resumed walking.

“Ah!”

But after only a few more steps, I heard the same sound from behind.

This time, she struggled to get up as easily.

“...Are you alright?”

I asked, noticing her smile—a smile that seemed to hide any concern, as if she didn’t want to cause me any worry.

“...I’m fine.”

Once again, she stood up on her own, brushing off the dirt.

Her knee was scraped, and blood was trickling from the cut where she’d struck a rock.

Seeing the blood, I said, “...Let’s go back. You’re hurt.”

Arwin shook her head at my suggestion, wiping the blood away with her sleeve.

“This is nothing. It doesn’t even hurt. I’ve been tortured by the World Tree every day, so this...”

“...?”

“...Anyway, I’m fine.”

“...”

“We don’t have time to fuss over little things like this. Shouldn’t we be putting all our effort into farming?”

I sighed and clicked my tongue in frustration. Just as I was about to continue walking, in line with her stubbornness, I heard the familiar sound of her stumbling again.

She was struggling to keep her balance on the uneven ground.

“...What’s going on with you?”

When I asked why she kept stumbling, Arwin lowered her head in embarrassment and replied quietly, “...I don’t know, I’m sorry.”

“...”

“...Berg, could you just hold my hand lightly? Just until we get over there.”

Then she made a small request.

“Just... please take me there.”

“...”

I didn’t think for long. I shook my head at her.

Arwin, surprised by my refusal, asked again, “...Are you saying you can’t even do that anymore?”

“...”

“Berg, as I’ve told you, I don’t have any feelings for you anymore. You don’t need to be so guarded...”

I looked down at Arwin’s bleeding knee.

Then, I raised my gaze to meet hers.

“...We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“...”

Still, I didn’t take her hand.

It wasn’t because I was angry at her for the past.

Nor was it because I was being cautious around her.

If I’m honest... it was for my own sake.

Just being near her brought back memories of the past, and I didn’t want to take it any further than that.

Our relationship wasn’t going to change, after all.

“...”

Arwin smiled weakly at my hesitation.

“...I kind of knew you wouldn’t.”

Her voice carried a hint of bitterness.

She stood up on her own, struggling to find balance as she began to walk again.

Even as she moved, she spoke as if analyzing the land.

“...The ground feels too dry, Berg. Two years ago, it seemed like it rained often... How has it been lately?”

“It rains frequently, but dries up quickly.”

“Then it might not be a problem. There’s a river nearby, so if it becomes an issue, we can always install the watermill.”

But I couldn’t focus on her words.

My mind was still occupied with the fact that I had refused her request earlier.

Arwin always liked holding hands. Especially intertwining her fingers—it used to bring her comfort.

But that part of our relationship was over. We had decided to remain friends.

This was the distance we had to get used to. Seeing her now just forced me to confront the reality I had been avoiding.

“...It’s nice.”

At that moment, Arwin whispered.

“...”

I looked at her, confused.

“...The weather. It’s nice, don’t you think?”

She tilted her head up to the sky, closing her eyes, and took a deep breath.

Her gesture made me follow suit, looking up at the sky for the first time in a while.

It really was a beautiful day.

I realized that in my recent turmoil, I hadn’t even noticed something so simple.

“...”

I took a deep breath, just like her.

After a moment of taking in the peaceful surroundings, I spoke to her.

“If you’ve seen enough, let’s head back.”

****

I visited the infirmary with Ner.

Shawn and Theodore, both recently afflicted with the plague, came to greet me.

“Captain. You’ve come.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Much better. The medicine Miss Ner gave us seems to be working well.”

At their words, I turned to look at Ner.

Ner scratched her head and whispered.

“Ah... It’s still not enough. The medicine works differently for everyone... They’re both healthy, so that’s probably why they’re doing okay.”

“...”

I suddenly realized how stingy I had been with my gratitude toward Ner.

Compared to how I treated Arwin, I had been much colder toward Ner.

Of course, it wasn’t without reason.

Ner still harbored feelings for me, while Arwin no longer did. That was the root of it.

But, if nothing between us was going to change, wasn’t I the one in the wrong?

No matter what Ner did, I wasn’t going to part ways with Sien.

Lost in my thoughts, I turned back to Shawn as he asked me a question.

“How is Burns doing?”

“He’s much better.”

“That’s a relief.”

Just like the others, Burns’ health had also improved significantly, thanks to Ner’s medicine.

After sharing some updates, Shawn clicked his tongue and said apologetically, “...I’m sorry, Captain. I haven’t been of any help, just lying here, sick.”

“Getting better is your way of helping.”

“...But we still need to deal with the bandits. Have they continued to appear?”

I smiled as I responded, “...Of course.”

Shawn and Theodore chuckled softly.

Bandits were not a threat that simply disappeared.

In fact, Baran had just left with his forces to patrol the territory once again because of it.

—Tap, tap.

At that moment, I felt a slight tug on my cloak. It was Ner, gently pulling at me from behind.

“...Berg... It’s time...”

“...Yeah.”

We didn’t spend long with the patients.

Ner had set specific times for visiting them, a precautionary measure that had dramatically reduced the risk of infection among the caretakers.

“Rest up. We’ll be going.”

“Understood. Stay safe, Captain.”

—Thud.

With that, we left the room.

Now it was just Ner and me, alone in the hallway.

“...Berg.”

Ner called out to me, her voice soft in the empty corridor.

I turned to look at her. She was trying to force a small smile, but I could see the strain.

“The medicine still has a long way to go. As you know, it doesn’t work well on people whose conditions have worsened or those with weak bodies.”

She seemed to be criticizing herself, so I spoke up.

“...You’ve already done more than enough.”

If her medicine could fully cure someone already weakened by disease, that would be a miracle, or perhaps even magic.

Hearing my words, Ner swallowed hard.

She slowly extended both of her arms toward me.

“...If you really think that... could you hold me, just this once?”

Again, she persistently sought affection.

“...Ner.”

“It’s nothing to you, right? I’m trying so hard... You could hold me, just once, couldn’t you?”

“...”

Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she gazed at me, pleading.

It seemed as though she was finally letting go of the emotions she had been holding back for so long.

Knowing her as well as I did, I could see how much pain she was enduring.

Ner continued, her voice trembling slightly.

“...I’m not asking you to take me back as your wife. I’m not asking you to divorce Sien. All I’m asking is for you to hold me... just once... I’ve risked my life to help you, and this is all I’m asking for...”

I clenched my teeth before responding.

“...Nothing will change because of this.”

“I know that. So just hold me.”

Her pitiful expression made me clench my fists even tighter.

Her race was said to love only one person for life.

The combination of her past and the unique nature of her people made her all the more tragic in my eyes.

The weight of that sympathy, combined with the current situation, pressed down heavily on my shoulders.

It was too much—a burden too heavy for someone already carrying so many.

In the end, I let go of the tension in my body and sighed.

I allowed the guarded expression I had been wearing to soften.

Ner’s eyes widened slightly at the change in my demeanor.

For the first time in a long while, I let her see my true feelings.

“...Ner.”

I placed my hands gently on her shoulders.

She looked up at me, too stunned to react.

“.........The more you do this... the harder it is for me.”

“...”

“...So please, stop.”

Ner blinked, her lips parting slightly before she responded, her voice echoing in the empty hallway, filled with a strange allure.

“...It’s difficult for you because... you want to hold me but can’t, isn’t it?”

“...”

“...You’re struggling because you’re suppressing that desire, right?”

“...”

“...Just hold me, Berg. Please...”

I didn’t argue with her words.

It was a moment where even looking into my own heart felt impossible.

With great difficulty, I let go of her shoulders.

And once again, I walked away from her.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

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