Chapter 43: Honest Feelings

 

I was having lunch with Eun-ha.

 

“Hey, Han-gyeol. After eating, I plan to go to the store with Harim, so you might be left alone. Is that okay?”

 

“Of course, it’s fine. I’ll be studying in the classroom during lunch. Don’t worry about me.”

 

“When I come back from the store, should I get something for you? Maybe some ‘Sweet red bean jelly’? Or a soda?”

 

“Um, I’ll be brushing my teeth, so I don’t think I’ll need anything.”

 

“Okay, then. I’ll come back empty-handed.”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

After finishing our meal, we left the cafeteria. It felt a bit sad to walk in opposite directions, but it couldn’t be helped. Just because we were dating didn’t mean we had to be glued to each other all day.

 

I went back to the classroom alone and took out a toothbrush and toothpaste from my locker. After squeezing some toothpaste onto the brush, I headed straight for the restroom.

 

Since I ate early, I expected the restroom to be quiet. But, I ran into the last person I wanted to see.

 

“Ah-”

 

With that short exclamation, the other person also turned his head towards me.

 

It was Kang Seo-ha, here to brush his teeth just like me.

 

“Ah- You’re Han-gyeol, right?”

 

“Yeah. I think this is the first time we’ve seen each other since playing basketball.”

 

“Did you recover from that injury?”

 

“Don’t worry about it. Injuries can happen during sports.”

 

Did he not know that I was dating Eun-ha? Just as I thought that, Kang Seo-ha spoke.

 

“I heard you were dating Eun-ha?”

 

He mentioned someone else’s girlfriend’s name rather informal and affectionately. Should I let it slide since they had been childhood friends?

 

“Yes. How did you know?”

 

“Our math teacher mentioned it during class.”

 

“Did the teacher talk about it in a different class? That’s troublesome.”

 

“He provided quite detailed information.”

 

“I see. Anyway, yes, we’re dating.”

 

As I replied, Kang Seo-ha looked into my eyes. His gaze wasn’t cold, but it seemed he was a bit concerned.

 

“Haven’t you known Eun-ha for just a short time?”

 

“It’s been just over a month since the start of the new semester.”

 

“It’s surprising. It wasn’t like you two knew each other before, and it’s not easy to get into a relationship in just a month.”

 

“It doesn’t always take a long time to fall for someone.”

 

It was hard to discern exactly what he was thinking.

 

But there was a sense of him being on guard.

 

Was it just my imagination?

 

“What do you like about Eun-ha?”

 

“It’s a topic that could take all day to discuss. I’m not sure how to answer that.”

 

“I’d appreciate a brief explanation.”

 

“She’s beautiful and cute. Kind-hearted.”

 

“That she is.”

 

“By the way, even if you two are close, shouldn’t you refrain from using her name with such informally?”

 

I tried to say it as politely as possible, but I too felt slightly defensive.

 

At my remark, Kang Seo-ha momentarily looked taken aback but quickly returned to his usual demeanor.

 

Given that my girlfriend once had feelings for him, I could understand why I was feeling this uneasiness.

 

“Ah- Sorry. It’s just habit.”

 

‘Just habit,’ he says.

 

I involuntarily gritted my teeth.

 

I shouldn’t be bothered by this.

 

I needed to let it slide and stay cool.

 

But it was irritating.

 

“It happens. Just be mindful in the future.”

 

If I thought about the original character Kang Seo-ha, he was a guy with a good heart.

 

It was only from my perspective that he might seem negative. Objectively, he was a decent guy.

 

For Kang Seo-ha, Eun-ha had been a childhood friend he had known for a long time.

 

Though their relationship had grown distant now, I couldn’t deny the time they’d spent together.

 

I might be jealous, but I couldn’t erase the history between them.

 

“Hey but make sure you keep Eun-ha happy. She’s the type to feel loneliness quite deeply. So don’t make her cry, understood.”

 

At Kang Seo-ha’s blunt remark, I found my brows involuntarily furrowing.

 

Regardless of how he felt, wasn’t that statement crossing a line?

 

Considering Kang Seo-ha’s nature and the history he shared with Eun-ha, he might be curious about her romantic affairs and concerned for her as a friend.

 

But that didn’t mean he could be so overt about it.

 

“Why do I need to hear that from you?”

 

“What did you just say?”

 

“I’m saying I don’t understand why I have to listen to such remarks from you.”

 

Seeing my agitation, Kang Seo-ha looked slightly taken aback.

 

“It’s just out of concern for Eun-ha as a friend. After all, you two haven’t been close for long, and then you’ve suddenly started dating.”

 

“In terms of my relationship with Eun-ha, you are just an outsider who has nothing to do with me. I think it’s a bit meddlesome for you to say that.”

 

“Hey, aren’t you reacting too sensitively? I thought it was something I could say as a friend of Eun-ha.”

 

“If it was a same-gender friend or a family member of Eun-ha’s, maybe. But you’re different, aren’t you?”

 

Because he had previously rejected Eun-ha’s confession.

 

I swallowed the words that almost slipped out, reaching the tip of my chin.

 

Did he think his intentions were noble and thus justified?

 

Maybe he believed that since his concerns arose from altruism for a childhood friend he spent a long time with, it was okay to voice them. But even if his underlying intentions were good, such words shouldn’t be uttered by someone who had already weighed and made decisions about his feelings for Eun-ha.

 

“You want me to make Eun-ha happy? Sure. Of course, I will. Her happiness is more important to me than my own. Even without you telling me... I’d appreciate it if you don’t cross the line and mind your own business.”

 

This was the Kang Seo-ha who had thrown away the chance to make Eun-ha happy.

 

I warned him as such.

 

“More than anything, you couldn’t make Eun-ha happy. And you don’t have the right to.”

 

At my words, Kang Seo-ha appeared taken aback.

 

In the end, I left the bathroom without brushing my teeth.

 

Though I had responded emotionally, I had no regrets.

 

Although I still felt upset, upon entering the classroom, I found Eun-ha sitting in my seat.

 

“Han-gyeol, did you go to brush your teeth?”

 

I didn’t want to show Eun-ha my troubled side, so I approached her with a bright smile.

 

“Yeah, I did.”

 

As I sat down next to Eun-ha, she tilted her head slightly.

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

“Huh? Why the sudden question?”

 

I thought I had managed to hide my emotions well, but I couldn’t understand why she would ask that.

 

“Your expression seems a bit different from usual. Are you tired?”

 

I felt a twinge of guilt, as though I was hiding something from Eun-ha. Still, I thought it best not to bring up the matter regarding Kang Seo-ha.

 

“I might be a bit tired because I went to bed late last night. Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Hmm, okay. We have PE during the 5th period, so we should change into our gym clothes soon.”

 

“Oh right, I totally forgot. I should’ve changed after brushing my teeth.”

 

“It happens. Let’s change now.”

 

Eun-ha, with her gym clothes in hand, beamed a radiant smile. I playfully pinched her cheek.

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

As Eun-ha gazed at me in silence, I spoke softly. It felt like I had never properly expressed this sentiment before.

 

“I’ll make you happy.”

 

“Wha- suddenly?! I mean, it’s a sweet thing to say but...”

 

“I just wanted to say it.”

 

“I’m already very happy.”

 

“Then I’ll make you even happier.”

 

“Okay...! But maybe the classroom isn’t the place for such declarations?”

 

Eun-ha bowed her head, seemingly embarrassed. Behind her, a group of students from our class glared at me as if they wanted me dead.

 

“Is this school or heaven?”

 

“For me, it’s clearly hell.”

 

“I’m holding the black sword of hell.”

 

“So, it’s the hellish sword?”

 

“But why are we the ones crying...?”

 

What kind of joke was that?

 

The setting was inappropriate.

 

I quickly grabbed my gym clothes from my bag.

 

“Eun-ha, let’s change into our gym clothes quickly.”

 

“Okay. Let’s do that. Do you know what we’re doing during PE today?”

 

“I think I heard we’re either playing dodgeball or kickball.”

 

“That’s too bad, no basketball.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Still, they might give us some free time, right?”

 

“Probably. But today, instead of basketball, I want to spend time with Eun-ha.”

 

“That sounds nice to me.”

 

Eun-ha smiled brightly.

 

“You have such a pretty smile.”

 

“Thanks. I think your smile is pretty too.”

 

Walking back to the bathroom to change into our gym clothes made me slightly anxious. I didn’t want to run into Kang Seo-ha again while with Eun-ha... I was so worried, but Eun-ha was staring intently at my face.

 

“Han-gyeol, is something really bothering you?”

 

“Huh? Does my expression look that bad?”

 

After pondering my question for a moment, Eun-ha spoke.

 

“Well, not bad per se... It just seems you’re concerned.”

 

Was my expression that easy to read?

 

“Han-gyeol, don’t take what I’m about to say too seriously.”

 

“Huh? What is it?”

 

“While I’m your girlfriend and you’re my boyfriend, there are certainly things we might find difficult to discuss. If ever you find something hard to talk about, just tell me it’s challenging. I don’t intend to force you to speak about something you find uncomfortable. Just be honest and tell me if you’re struggling. Right now, your expression seems troubled, and it’s making me anxious. That’s just how I feel.”

 

I was slightly taken aback looking at the calmly speaking Eun-ha. Her words were strikingly similar to what I had told her before.

 

“You don’t have to answer right away. Take your time and think it over. I’ll go change into my gym clothes now.”

 

With those words, Eun-ha entered the bathroom.

 

It was the same thing I had said to Eun-ha before.

 

It was what I’d told her after she had avoided me for days following my gift of homemade chocolates. While I had asked her to be honest with me, I too had failed to be forthright.

 

“It’s... a bit embarrassing.”

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

 

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