Chapter 44: Summary

 

Han-gyeol’s expression was somehow different than usual.

 

If one were to ask me to describe specifically how it was different, it’d be a tough ask.

 

Should I call it a woman’s intuition?

 

I felt something indescribable. Even when I tried to recall that expression of Han-gyeol’s, it was the same.

 

However, he seemed a bit angry and upset. After all, Han-gyeol was human. Not every day, every moment could be good. There would be days when he felt down for no reason, and days when his emotions were stirred by the smallest things.

 

It was entirely natural.

 

If anything, it was strange that I hadn’t seen this side of Han-gyeol until now.

 

He wasn’t always laughing, but he was as calm as a still lake.

 

I wondered what could have angered Han-gyeol. But I couldn’t guess anything. I wanted to know, but Han-gyeol seemed hesitant to speak, and I didn’t want to force him to say anything.

 

I didn’t want to pressure him into talking just because I was his girlfriend, insisting, ‘You should tell me because I’m your girlfriend.’

 

I also didn’t like the idea of measuring the distance between someone based on how much I know about them.

 

Still, there was a part of me that wished he would tell me. Logically, I shouldn’t ask, but emotionally, I wished he would confide in me first. But that was just my selfishness. I didn’t want my desires to burden Han-gyeol.

 

During PE class, I briefly sat on a bench and chatted with him, but it was just a typical conversation. Throughout our chat, it felt like he was constantly thinking about something.

 

I wondered if I had inadvertently made things more difficult for him with my earlier comments. Maybe I was mistaken, but I felt sorry if I made him worry needlessly.

 

Eventually, PE class ended, and I was on my way out, changing out of my gym clothes with Harim.

 

“Eun, no. Shin Eun-ha.”

 

Someone called my name from the hallway.

 

When I sneakily turned around to check who it was, it was an unexpected figure.

 

Perhaps not the best person to run into under the current circumstances.

 

“Kang Seo-ha. What?”

 

I supposed I should be a bit formal.

 

It seemed the other party was formal too.

 

“Sorry, can we talk for a moment?”

 

“If it’s not urgent or important, can we talk another time? I have something I need to attend to right now.”

 

I decided that I should be by Han-gyeol’s side right now.

 

But unexpected words spilled out from Kang Seo-ha’s mouth.

 

“It’s about Lee Han-gyeol... is it not okay?”

 

I flinched momentarily.

 

The two had only crossed paths twice at most.

 

Once on the first day of the semester in the hallway.

 

And once during basketball.

 

That was it, so it felt strange that he had something to talk about concerning Han-gyeol.

 

I looked at him skeptically and asked,

 

“Why are you bringing up Han-gyeol?”

 

“No, it’s just... I ended up having an argument with Lee Han-gyeol.”

 

“What-? When? By any chance, during lunch?”

 

“Yeah, briefly in the restroom during lunch.”

 

That was unbelievable.

 

But why?

 

“Can you tell me more about it? Harim, just a moment. I need to talk. Can you put my gym clothes on my spot?”

 

“Mm-hmm. Go ahead.”

 

“Yeah, and please don’t mention this to Han-gyeol for now.”

 

I quickly handed my gym clothes to Harim and headed to the end of the hallway.

 

I didn’t want Han-gyeol to see me talking with another guy.

 

Reaching the end of the hallway, I directly asked,

 

“What’s this about you arguing with Han-gyeol?”

 

“You’re dating Lee Han-gyeol, right?”

 

“Yes. But why?”

 

“There was a small argument related to that.”

 

“What could you possibly have argued about related to that? There’s no relationship between the two of you, right?”

 

The more we talked, the more I couldn’t understand.

 

“Well... I’m sorry. I think I made a mistake. But I didn’t mean to either.”

 

“Can you be more specific? Han-gyeol doesn’t get mad easily. I’ve never even seen him angry.”

 

“Well... To be honest, I was a bit worried about you. You haven’t been with him long, but you’re dating him.”

 

My brows furrowed for a moment.

 

But I moved on for now.

 

I could judge after hearing the entire story.

 

“So? What did you say to Han-gyeol?”

 

“Just as a friend, I was a bit concerned... So I just told him to take good care of you, to make you happy.”

 

“What?!”

 

Suddenly, I understood why Han-gyeol was upset.

 

If another person says that when we have only been dating for a short while, it would be infuriating.

 

And perhaps... maybe... Han-gyeol was even angrier because it was Kang Seo-ha who said it.

 

I was not sure, and we never discussed this topic directly, but maybe Han-gyeol knew something.

 

“Why did you say that to Han-gyeol? You don’t even know him that well.”

 

That made me even angrier.

 

I thought I was the one who needed to be cautious.

 

But I guess I was wrong.

 

Not just me, but others should be cautious too.

 

“No, I-”

 

I raised my voice a bit.

 

“You were worried about me? Then you should have asked me first. What kind of person Han-gyeol is. What I think of Han-gyeol. You should have come to me. Why did you do that? I can’t understand. From Han-gyeol’s perspective, it’s like some stranger was butting in. Why couldn’t you think that far?”

 

I looked at Kang Seo-ha with a bit of resentment.

 

“Eun-ha, I was just concerned.”

 

“We aren’t in a position to be ‘so concerned’ about each other. Strangers might not get it, but it’s even harder to understand coming from you. Shouldn’t we be even more careful? Put yourself in my shoes. If you were dating Jung Yeon, and some guy you barely know told you to treat Jung Yeon right, would you feel good?”

 

“We’re friends. We have a history together.”

 

“Even so, you shouldn’t have said that. How could... how could you say something like that? Especially you, being involved? Even if you didn’t mean to, that was a very careless thing to say.”

 

“...”

 

We were bound to become distant strangers at some point.

 

I thought we would slowly move away, but I didn’t expect things to blow up like this.

 

I didn’t want to hurt anyone with my words.

 

I thought that moving away would be the best decision.

 

However, if my hesitation, the ties I had not let go of, hinder my future with Han-gyeol... I was left with no choice.

 

I knew what was right and what was most precious to me now, so I spoke with a heavy heart.

 

“It was hard for me to say this bluntly. I thought we would just move on with time. But given the situation, I have to be clear. I can’t help it if you feel hurt.”

 

Kang Seo-ha seemed a bit taken aback by my words.

 

But I continued.

 

“It’s right for us to keep our distance. You, me, Jung Yeon. Even for Han-gyeol’s sake. The reason I acted this way until now was because I didn’t want to see you and Jung Yeon feeling sorry because of me. But if Han-gyeol gets hurt or troubled because of our past, it’s different. You don’t need to apologize to Han-gyeol separately. I’ll be going now. Even though I’ve spoken emotionally, it’s not out of anger. From now on, be careful.”

 

“No, wait. How can you just end things like this?”

 

As I tried to pass him, Kang Seo-ha spoke.

 

The longer our conversation went, the more anxious I felt.

 

Even talking to him now felt like a sin.

 

To his words, I responded more firmly.

 

“I have to be clear. Han-gyeol has always been sincere with me. And I don’t want to lie even a little bit to him. I want to always treat Han-gyeol with utmost sincerity.”

 

“That’s not like you. You’re not like this. Why are you acting this way all of a sudden? Is this the right way?”

 

“Even if you say that, nothing will change. I don’t regret my actions now, and I think they’re right.”

 

“No, you’ve never been this blunt.”

 

“Yes, I wasn’t. But now, Han-gyeol is more precious to me than myself. I want to repay even half of what Han-gyeol has done for me. I want to make him feel the love I feel right now. That’s why I’m doing this. Even this conversation, just the two of us, isn’t good for Jung Yeon or Han-gyeol. I’ll be going. Please explain things to Jung Yeon too. Take care. I will, too.”

 

I passed Kang Seo-ha and headed back to my classroom.

 

There was no time to be swayed by the past.

 

I decided to focus solely on the time I would spend with Han-gyeol.

 

After all, there was no room for anything else in my mind right now.

 

As soon as I reached the classroom, I looked for Han-gyeol.

 

He was still sitting in his seat, lost in thought.

 

“Han-gyeol.”

 

We didn’t have much break time left.

 

I quickly organized the words lingering in my mind.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“I handled things properly.”

 

“All of a sudden? Did something happen?”

 

“Nope, not at all. Anyway, I sorted it out!”

 

“Did you bury someone in the mountains or something?”

 

“No! But now there’s nothing for Han-gyeol to worry about. I handled it.”

 

“What do you mean? What did you do?”

 

Wasn't this just like him?

 

I pondered a bit more.

 

“Don’t worry about what others say. I’m already incredibly happy because of Han-gyeol. So, I’ll make you happy in return.”

 

Han-gyeol blankly stared at me.

 

While looking into his somewhat dazed eyes, I spoke clearly.

 

“I’m truly only looking at Han-gyeol. I truly only like Han-gyeol.”

 

The bell rang for the end of the break right after I clenched my fist and spoke.

 

“You got what I said, right? Let’s talk after class.”

 

I quietly returned to my seat.

 

Did I convey my feelings properly? Did I express myself correctly?

 

I hoped with all my heart that my feelings were genuinely conveyed.

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

 

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