Chapter 15- Younger sibling needs an older sister (3)

After bringing Alphonse to his room and making plans with Elena for tomorrow, I turned my footsteps back towards the Isilia Pavilion.

Upon arriving at Isilia Pavilion, I walked through the hallway of memories where portraits of the past hostesses were hung. There were as many portraits of women as the family’s long history, but I only knew one face.

It was of my mother’s portrait, hanging at the end of the line of portraits, which remained uncovered.

Thanks to the excellent skills of the painter, the woman in the portrait retained the same liveliness and vitality as when she was alive. It was natural that it stirred up memories that still lingered within me.

As I opened the door to the room Alphonse was in, the layout of the room came into my view.

Even after several years, this place still remained exactly the same as it was back then, without a single change.

However, perhaps because Alphonse had been there, the duvet on the bed, which should have been neatly folded, was a little crumpled, and something that seemed to have been hidden under the pillow in a hurry was sticking out. And soon I began to imagine little by little what Alphonse was doing here.

When I went to bed and lifted the pillow, there was an old book Alphonse had read.

The handwriting was familiar. 

No, not just the handwriting, but the contents written inside also felt familiar. 

Looking at it I soon realized that it was my mother Arwen’s diary.

In the past, I sometimes saw my mother writing something by herself, but when I asked her about it, she always said it was a secret and never showed me. I had forgotten about it since then, but Alphonse seemed to have found it left behind in my mother’s room.

The beginning of the writing seemed to be from the time when I, Damian was born, but the writing wasn’t consistent. 

However, that made it easy for me to recall past memories while reading it. The feeling of writing down the intense emotions from that special day was strong.

The Damian written in her writing wasn’t me, but the memories of her and me were clearly left here.

What I felt from this writing was not the feeling of loss for my mother’s absence, but rather the happiness of being able to recall the warmth I felt in the past. However, just as not everyone would have the same thoughts upon reading the same things, Alphonse may have felt differently than me. 

Arwen Kraus passed away in an epidemic in the southern region when Alphonse was two years old.

A lot of people died due to it, including Kraus’s mistress before the cure was found. It could be said that it was luck that the young Alphonse did not get sick.

Alphonse, who was only two years old, could not have any memories of his mother.

When Alphonse, who had no memory of his mother, saw this diary, he would have felt even more sadness and empathy for her absence, unlike me, who had some memories.

Maybe he felt even more sadder because he was caught between his older brother and father, who could not forget her.

For Alphonse, who lost his mother at an early age, only me and our father were his family. However, those only family members were looking for the shadow of the one who had already left Alphonse.

One should remember their past memories but not be consumed by the shadows of the past.

Perhaps knowing that, father forbade Alphonse to go to the Isilia Pavilion. But it wasn’t for Alphonse.

Then, what about me? Can I say that I was a good older brother to Alphonse?

No way.

It was too late to say that I was a good older brother.

Saying that I had to prepare for the future that lies ahead of me was just an excuse.

‘Let’s be honest.’

Unlike me, the villain, Alphonse was always a good person who would do good deeds in the future. That’s why I was indifferent to him.

***

I left the Isilia Pavilion with my mother’s diary in hand. 

Despite having a body that could be considered a giant, I didn’t feel any strength in my muscles. My mother’s small diary in my hand felt like a heavy iron bar.

‘If you realize you made a mistake, you have to correct it. ‘

However, this was the first time in my life to have a family or to be someone’s older brother. I didn’t know what an ideal older brother should look like, and even if I changed, I didn’t think I could make up for the loss that child felt.

Putting down the burden of my engagement with Elena, a new burden came to weigh heavily on my heart. However, this was not a predetermined fate, but rather something that was my fault. That was why it felt like I was carrying an even heavier burden than when I was with Elena.

I walked while thinking about what to do, and when I arrived at my room, Ken appeared in front of my eyes as if he had been waiting for me.

“Young master. You seem to have a lot of worries today.”

“Oh? Ken. What are you doing here?”

“As your personal butler, I was waiting for you, young master. More importantly, why do you look so gloomy like the sky on a rainy day? Oh, if it’s about Lady Edelweiss, there’s no need to worry. The young lady has already fallen deeply for you…”

“It’s not like that.”

Whenever I was in a bad mood, this old man always thought it was all because of Elena.

The old butler’s smirking face seemed to have eased the heavy feeling a little. Come to think of it, it was Ken and Maria who watched Alphonse and me the longest. If so, maybe Ken knew the answer to this problem.

But I couldn’t ask Ken about him.

Come to think of it, if they had felt anything strange about Alphonse, they would have told us right away. Even if not, Maria wouldn’t have just left Alphonse alone.

Given Maria’s personality, she would have taken pity on Alphonse, who didn’t know his mother, and would have paid attention to various things. Nevertheless, Alphonse’s emotional wounds were not healed.

To solve this, family members, not third parties, had to step forward. 

As I was thinking about it, a man’s face came to my mind.

When I remembered that face, I immediately said to Ken.

“Ken. Go and tell my father. His son wants to spar for the first time in a while.”

“Yes? All of a sudden? But is it okay for you to do that in this condition? Even if you did it in good condition, you would come out looking like a slime. But now you look very tired. How about resting today and doing it tomorrow?”

Ken answered me with a worried face.

“It’s okay. I don’t plan on making it as tight as usual today.”

I just wanted to have a ‘conversation’ between son and father. 

In response to my answer, Ken finally had no choice but to nod his head and say he understood.

“This will be a problem when it comes to the aftermath.”

“Don’t worry…”

“Even if the young master says that, it’s not likely to end normally given the nature of the Duke and his son. Still, please be careful as much as possible. What if Lady Edelweiss gets surprised?”

“I’ll make sure not to surprise her.”

“No, I was telling you not to get hurt too badly. You can’t just come out bloody. What should I do if the lady is startled because of that?”

“…..”

I had nothing to say.

After a while, Ken left to talk to my father, and I walked towards the training ground behind the castle.

***

As befits a renowned samurai family, the Kraus family had several training grounds. Among them, the training ground right behind the castle was used only by the Kraus family’s blood relatives, and even knights who swore under the name of the family were prohibited from entering.

After arriving at the training ground, I picked up one of the swords prepared in advance.

There was no need to engage in sparring with real swords when it is not a matter of life and death. It was said that in the past, many people lost their lives while using a real sword, so they started using a sword with the same weight and no blade.

Even so, if it was a swordsman who could use aura, it would be the same as a true sword.

The wait wasn’t too long.

The quiet mana in the air began to surge. The flow of free mana began to gather in one place as if it were being pulled by a powerful force.

“Are you here?”

A man was standing at the center of the great flow…

A Sword Master.

The mighty presence of the person who had reached the highest level, which was usually suppressed, was revealed without filtering.

“Yeah. But I’m surprised you asked me for sparring first. Did you have any enlightenment?”

Seeing my father’s interested face, I shook my head and denied it.

“No. That’s not it. I need a place to vent my anger and have a conversation with my father after a long time.”

My father didn’t respond to my words, but merely looked at me with his usual gaze.

With a single blink of an eye, a sword appeared in his previously empty hand.

I also raised my sword without saying anything.

Soon, the sound of metal clashing against metal filled the previously peaceful training ground.

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