Chapter 118

 

The sled moved steadily across the freshly fallen snow.  

 

I sat on it, staring blankly at the ground beneath me.

 

"Ugh, damn it. This thing is heavy as hell. Can't you lighten it a bit?"

 

"Hey, hey! Keep your voice down, man!"

 

I could hear the grumbling from the person pulling the sled in front of me, but...

 

"..."

 

"...N-never mind..."

 

A single glare full of killing intent was enough to silence him. I turned my gaze back to the ground, lost in thought once again.

 

"...Choi Ji-won."

 

Choi Ji-won. Choi Ji-won. Choi Ji-won.

 

I rolled her name around in my mouth, savoring its taste again and again.

 

As I pursed my lips, I could still feel the vivid sensation of her touch. Why did she confess to me?

 

Perhaps... she didn't want my emotions to die. Just like the scabbard I received as a reward on the third floor, or the peculiar way this tower allows one to gain emotional traits from others. 

 

Yes, this tower has an odd obsession with emotions. I have a feeling that if I were to clear this tower like an emotionless puppet, only a grim ending would await me. So, I believe she made the right choice.

 

"..."

 

Yet, regardless of whether her judgment was right or wrong, from my perspective, it’s nothing but painful. Once again, I am left alone. Is this the fate of a regressor? Is it inevitable that I writhe in this unbearable sense of loss?

 

"Who the hell is that guy...?"

 

"No idea, man..."

 

I could hear them whispering again, but I didn’t care enough to stop them this time. Instead, I leaned back onto the sled.

 

This round, I handled things quite differently from the previous one.

 

Up until the part where I secured cooperation from the guy wearing glasses and Baron Jorge, it was all the same. I flaunted my connection with his brother, half-forcing him to lie about the irrelevant book he’d been reading, and gave Baron Jorge the elixir.

 

But the way I controlled the players this time was different. Even when they asked who I was, I gave no answer. If I sensed the slightest sign of discontent, I would quietly draw my sword as a warning.

 

I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, so I spoke through my actions. It was as if I was saying, "If you don’t follow my lead, who knows what I might do?"

 

"Still... that guy’s got a seriously intense vibe..."

 

"Yeah... must be something special about him, strutting around like that..."

 

Thankfully, my intimidation worked. My aura of awe and curiosity seemed to trigger simultaneously, causing them to mutter from afar but keep their distance.

 

"Hey, Jung-hyun, are you sure about this? I don’t think this is right…"  

 

Some still couldn't accept the situation and whined to Yoon Jung-hyun, who was acting as the leader.

 

"Let's just follow what that guy says for now."  

 

"What???"  

 

"I’m just as frustrated as you are with this situation. But how many of us would it take to even try taking him down? This is the Tower. Even if we all went at him, we might not succeed. And aren’t those otherworlders on his side?"  

 

"...But."  

 

"Think positively. It's not like what he’s saying is complete nonsense. I think it's worth giving it a shot. Also, here's some confidential info—do you know what the survival rate is for people who entered the 4th floor?"  

 

"...Alright, fine."  

 

It seemed that for now, Yoon Jung-hyun decided to cooperate with me, so there was nothing to worry about.

 

It’s strange. The future I once struggled so hard to achieve was now being handed to me, just because I stayed quiet and projected the right atmosphere.

 

I drew a sword and held its blade up toward the sky.

 

The snow-filled sky was murky and dark.

 

***

 

Day 5. Finally, the monsters appeared.

 

"Wh-what the…!"

 

"Th-that thing…!"  

 

"Run. I’ll handle them here."

 

I calmly stepped forward. I might not be able to wield the sword of "Hope" like I did in the last round, but having done this once before, I could handle it even better now.

 

That’s the essence of a regressor. What’s supposed to be a "first-time experience" for others doesn’t have to be the first for a regressor. We skip the learning curve that everyone else must go through and only show the world the results. To others, it might seem like we’re some kind of genius.

 

The downside? You have to endure the bad experiences multiple times, too.

 

"Hey, come on! Let’s go! That guy’s going to hold them off!"

 

"But…"  

 

"Can’t you see your legs are shaking? Let’s go!"  

 

"Fine, fine…"  

 

Hesitant but fleeing, the people scrambled away.

 

“…”

 

Baron Jorge gave me a silent nod before leaving to handle the otherworlders. I imagine he’s thinking, “The guy who gave me an elixir can’t be a bad person.” Something along those lines, perhaps.

 

“Phew.”

 

Just as I was about to close my eyes and focus, I sensed someone approaching.

 

“…Hello, I’m Yoon Jung-hyun.”

 

Yoon Jung-hyun, his face pale, brushed the snow off his shoulders as he came closer.

 

“I won’t ask for details, but could you tell me your name? It’s just for my own curiosity. I won’t share it with anyone.”

 

“…”

 

This guy, a former National Intelligence Service agent—who knows what he might do if I tell him my name. He could dig up my personal information or even put me under surveillance.

 

“Kim Jun-ho.”

 

But in a moment of indifference, I decided to tell him my name and stood up. I realized I couldn’t focus in this state anyway.

 

***

 

The deep gashes left on the ground were the only evidence of the fierce battle. Once again, the wolves failed to pass me.

 

“…”

 

As the time drew near, I slowly retreated. By now, the black wolves were supposed to be surrounding me. Rather than giving any room for unpredictability, I wanted to clear the fourth floor safely.

 

By retreating with five minutes left, I managed to avoid facing the black wolves and cleared the fourth floor without any confrontation.

 

-00:00:00-

 

As I blinked, I found myself back in the familiar hotel room. A message that would’ve made others jump with joy appeared, but I felt nothing. It just felt like I had completed another task.

 

Without even checking the reward, I took the portal back to my small apartment and collapsed onto the bed.

 

"Ah."

 

I knew I should head straight to the fifth floor. My mind knew this, but actually moving my body to do so was an entirely different matter.

 

"Ah."

 

I didn’t feel like doing anything. I just wanted to lie here.

 

I fiddled with random things out of habit, thinking maybe I should at least move around a little.

 

"..."

 

Even playing games or eating something delicious brought no excitement. It was just... meh.

 

I started to reflect on what this emotion I was feeling actually was. It was as if a huge part of me had been torn away, leaving an empty, hollow feeling. It was unfamiliar to me.

 

Yeah, this was loss. This was the feeling of loss—because a woman who had settled in my heart suddenly disappeared.

 

I tried searching online for how regular people cope with feelings of loss, but all I got were surface-level suggestions like "meditate" and "don’t drink too much."

 

"Heh..."

 

I’d already triggered my meditation trait. In fact, I’d been using it since the fourth floor. If I hadn’t, I probably would’ve been rolling on the floor, screaming my lungs out.

 

Deep down, I knew the truth. Time was the only thing that could heal this.

 

I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks. I didn’t even bother to wipe them away. Instead, I just closed my eyes.

 

I didn’t want to think about anything. I just wanted to sleep.

 

***

 

Despite having regressed to avoid wasting time, I had thoroughly squandered it. I was merely alive, nothing more.

 

If I had nothing to do, I slept. If I couldn’t sleep, I watched TV. 

 

I’d stare blankly at whatever movie some random channel was playing, eat when I was hungry, and sleep when I was tired.

 

It was a life more akin to that of an animal than a human.

 

-Bzzz.

 

The phone resting beside me buzzed. A message had come in. The sender was Choi Ji-won.

 

"..."

 

I flipped the phone over without checking it.

 

In this state, I had no desire to meet Choi Ji-won, who no longer remembered me. I didn’t want to face her, a stranger who found me unfamiliar.

 

Of course, that didn’t mean I was being productive either. I just stayed holed up in my apartment, endlessly watching TV.

 

"Do you believe in God?"

 

"I do. Because I am God. A person who can control their own fate is a god."

 

I wasted time watching an old movie on a random channel, the dialogue as meaningless as my day.

 

"...What should I eat?"

 

A mild hunger crept in, but I didn’t feel like checking my phone. Should I go to the convenience store down the street? As I pondered this...

 

Ding-dong.

 

The doorbell rang. I didn’t remember ordering any delivery. Was I expecting a package? Maybe I ordered something before entering the fourth floor?

 

Forcing my sluggish brain to wake up, I got to my feet. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror—looking like a zombie—but I didn’t care. I opened the door.

 

"Who is i—"

 

I froze. My body stiffened from shock.

 

The first thought that crossed my mind was, How? How did she know I was here? I had given her this address once before, yes, but that was in a previous iteration. So again, how?

 

Did she look up my address? But that had never happened in previous iterations. Could my actions this time have changed the future? Some butterfly effect?

 

No, that couldn’t be. Our paths hadn’t even crossed this time.

 

As absurd as it seemed, there was only one possible explanation.

 

"Jun-ho."

 

Through the hallway window, the evening sunset framed her figure.

 

"Kim Jun-ho."

 

Choi Ji-won looked at me and smiled, more dazzling than the sunset behind her.

 

"Long time no see, huh?"

 

– – – End of Chapter – – -

 

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