Chapter 89: Previous life (4)

[Physis’ POV]

[ It’s okay. Sob... I’m fine. So please, Physis, wake up... Please... ]

The warm voice of Adilun, different from the cold one I had just heard, echoed in my mind.

In an instant, the encroaching darkness caused by the tsunami consuming me started to ebb, and I began to revert to my original state.

[ Damn it. Someone I hardly understand is now getting in the way...! ]

What followed was the evil voice of the corrupted Adilun. As if reflecting her enraged emotions, the black tsunami began to surge forward, trying to swallow my whole body again.

However, thanks to the brief moment of clarity given by Adilun, who observed from outside, I was able to regain my sanity.

I realized If I were consumed here, I would undoubtedly lose myself, and if that happened, the current Adilun would never be happy.

Pushing against the tide, I now ignored the faces of those trapped inside, a stark contrast to my previous state of vulnerability.

The only things that had changed were my willpower and determination, and just that alone was enough to prevent that tsunami from harming me.

[ ...Ugh ]

The corrupted Adilun glared at me with a seething expression. Still, I continued to approach her.

[ Don’t come near me. ]

The tsunami eventually became a barrier, beginning to surround her. But even from within that barrier, her voice resonated.

[ Why are you able to resist? Why aren’t your sins tearing you apart? Why! ]

Her voice was filled with anger and sorrow.

“Because I have someone waiting for me.”

[ Soon, even that Adilun will see your true colors, realizing the monster you truly are! ]

“That Adilun... she accepted me, even during the times I was a despicable person.”

[ ... ]

The corrupted Adilun was at a loss for words. As if she tried to say something but couldn’t.

[ Don’t be ridiculous. She doesn’t truly know you. She’ll surely regret it, just like me, for being involved with someone like you. ]

“She must have already regretted it enough. She might have known, been afraid, wasn’t sure when I might change.”

[ Then how did you win her over? ]

At her question, I simply smiled.

I myself didn’t know the answer to that question. Why she forgave me? Why she accepted me? I could only think that perhaps she came to trust me by observing my actions.

“I don’t really know either. I just... liked her. All I did was care for her. I acted for her as much as I liked her. and maybe my actions convinced her.”

[ So, why... why didn’t you do that for me? ]

Her voice was laced with sobs. She was resenting me at that moment. After all, I was the one who ruined her life. In a way, it was natural.

At that moment, I realized what I needed to do. I moved my feet once more, walking through the blackened space, heading toward the barrier surrounding her.

Thorns gradually formed from the barrier, attempting to prevent my approach.

I didn’t resist. I let the thorns pierce my body with ease.

As they did, my skin shifted in hue, but my determination held. There were words I needed to convey.

[I hate you. I despise everything about you...]

As those words filled the air, my darkened body began to change. My bones thickened, and I matured slightly in appearance.

Even without a mirror, I recognized this change: I had become the version of myself from the future, the one who perished alongside the corrupted Adilun.

In the same appearance that the corrupted Adilun had shown me earlier, I walked toward her. I had accepted my sins, but I wasn’t consumed by them.

Because there was someone supporting me. Someone who gave me hope and was waiting for my return.

Soon, I stood before the barrier. The corrupted Adilun didn’t launch any more attacks at me. She simply crouched within the barrier.

Through eyes that pierce to the essence, I saw the cowering, sorrowful figure of Adilun.

I clenched my fist. An overwhelming sensation rushed through me, reminiscent of my peak power.

My power was concentrated. Perhaps the corrupted Adilun felt it too, for she exclaimed in shock.

[What are you doing!?]

She, who had met her end with me that day, must know my strength. As a result, she began to fortify her barrier even more. The black barrier intensified, solidifying until it resembled a cocoon.

But I didn’t care and launched a powerful blow at the cocoon.

-Quaang!

A loud noise rang out, but the cocoon didn’t disintegrate. I continued to strike it. I needed to break this cocoon to face her and talk.

[Stop it!]

Her frantic shout echoed, but I didn’t stop.

The corrupted Adilun looked at me with a truly terrified expression. And why wouldn’t she? After all, I was the one who had killed her. But even knowing that, I didn’t stop hitting the cocoon.

This cocoon was formed from negative emotions, mirroring the darkness that consumed me and her.

So, I had to break it.

Gradually, cracks began to form. She no longer had the strength to resist, letting her hands fall.

[ I don’t know what you’re trying to do... but do as you wish. ]

With her words, one final strike hit that cocoon, causing it to collapse and revealing her form once more.

And at that moment, I was finally able to face her again.

“Adilun.”

[ …I don’t want to hear anything from you. So just go away. ]

With resentment, anger, hatred, and sorrow in her eyes, she gestured toward me.

However...

[ …Why? Why didn’t you?... ]

I didn’t go away. The reason was simple.

She had told me that this realm was the very core of my soul. In the grand scheme, she wasn’t its master—I was. Unless I willed it, I wouldn’t depart.

With deliberate steps, I drew closer to her.

* * *

[Corrupted Adilun’s POV]

Physis made his way towards me.

Why? Why can’t I expel him from this space?

While thinking about that, I realized the reason on my own.

I had disclosed to him that this space mirrored his innermost self.

Damn it.

Blinded by my anger upon seeing him, I carelessly revealed information that I should’ve kept hidden. And that would likely mean my demise.

Since I was leeching off his evil part, the moment he realized this space was his own heart, I became powerless.

Defeated, I gave up and let go of my hand.

Then, his hand extended toward me. I closed my eyes tightly. Even if I pretended to be strong, he was someone who had once killed me. He’d undoubtedly hurt me once more.

‘I hate it. I’m scared. I hate him.’

A turmoil of emotions gave birth to deep-seated resentment within me.

Why hadn’t he treated me like the present Adilun? The answer was clear. His true nature was evil.

The only reason he could shower the current Adilun with kindness was that, in the future, he learned empathy. I was well aware.

Yet, while my mind accepted it, my heart resisted. If only he had been compassionate from the start, I wouldn’t have endured such anguish.

I wouldn’t have witnessed my parents being slaughtered by monsters, and wouldn’t have been driven to commit such heinous acts myself.

I wouldn’t have had to face the darkest aspects of humanity.

Ultimately, knowing that I’d dissolve in this overwhelming bitterness, I would’ve preferred meeting my end sooner.

Why did the gods decide to send Physis and me back in time? Just why?

As my vision dimmed, an enigmatic child appeared. This child, who had shared my past tale with Physis, was certainly a being far beyond my comprehension.

Yes, God.

Why would such an entity inflict this torment upon me? Was it because of the countless lives I’d taken? Because I had wrought destruction not just on my own world but on other realms as well?

Lost in a storm of thoughts, I finally felt his touch. Yet, contrary to my expectations, there was no pain.

Instead, I found myself enveloped in a comforting embrace.

Lifting my gaze, I met his eyes. The future him, looking at me with remorse.

With his black hair and eyes, he was the spitting image of the Physis I once knew. Yet the ravages of time had left their mark. He bore the exact look he had when he ended my life.

Why didn’t he kill me now? Why did he embrace me?

[...Why?]

Taken aback, I found my voice.

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry? Why now?

Apologies, after all is said and done, seemed futile. Why utter them now? Was he mocking me till the very end?

However, the genuine remorse reflected in his gaze gave me pause.

“Don’t forgive me. Continue to resent and hate me. I have no intention of pathetically defending my wretched self. I’ve clearly committed unforgivable sins against you.”

He said, urging me not to forgive him—words he had once said to today’s Adilun.

Anger surged within me.

[Why... Why are you saying this now... When everything’s over! Everything’s ended, and I’ve nothing left, why!]

The family I held dear, the lands I cherished, and the last sliver of hope that allowed me to maintain my identity—everything had disintegrated into nothingness. Why was he choosing to tell me this now?

“Going back in time doesn’t erase my sins. But... there are still remnants. The ones you loved.”

I lifted my head. No. What I cherished has long been scattered in the shards of a time now forgotten. How could I ever forget? The way they perished, the way they disappeared.

[No, those aren’t what I loved...]

“No. Those are exactly what you loved. The scenery of Rodenov you adored, the people you loved... They’re all still here. You’ve seen them, alive and smiling again.”

Emotion welled up inside me. No one remembered; no one was aware of the desolate future I had endured.

Yet, as much as I wanted to deny it, his words held truth. Through the lens of his rejuvenated sight, I recognized that all I held dear still thrived here.

Before all those tragedies unfolded. No, even after they occurred, a world brimming with more beautiful stories than the time I lived in.

The utopia I had longed for. Yet, I had no place in it.

[There’s no place for me there. The current Adilun is the one who belongs. After losing everything to you, it’s time for me to disappear.]

“You won’t disappear.”

He held me tightly in his arms, just as he had embraced the current Adilun.

[Why are you suddenly acting like this toward me? You should just get rid of me.]

“Because you are also Adilun. It was you who kindled the new hope within me, allowing me to relish the moments of joy with the current Adilun.”

His words silenced me. The moment of his transformation, his awakening to humanity.

He had been engrossed in my incomplete story, supporting my journey.

How ironic.

That was the only way I could perceive it. Everything about the situation was so ironic that I was left speechless.

“That’s why you won’t disappear. You will always remain within me, if you wish. Of course... I’ll have to eliminate all those dangerous, negative aspects.”

He was willing to accept me. He seemed to contemplate making space for me in a corner of his heart so my existence wouldn’t vanish.

But I didn’t want to accept his offer.

[No, I won’t accept it. I will never intend to forgive you.]

“Don’t forgive me. I’m prepared for that. The current Adilun, and even me from back then, wouldn’t have forgiven either.”

[Isn’t it ironic? If you had humanity from the start, could I have been happy?]

Brushing aside his sentiments, I spoke my heart.

“Perhaps you could have.”

[Hahaha...]

How different he had become. This Physis, who had developed humanity, was a completely different person from the one I knew.

Indeed, he was an entirely different being.

So, even if he were to be held accountable for his sins, it felt almost pointless.

Living like this felt pointless. Wouldn’t it be easier if I just disappeared?

As these thoughts consumed me, he intervened.

“Don’t lose hope. The beginning has yet to come. The Demon King has been vanquished, and the North no longer stands on the brink of destruction. The plague’s rampage is halted. I... together, we thwarted it.”

[…….]

Suddenly he grabbed my hand.

“I give you my word. I won’t allow the future you’ve endured to manifest. I’ll make certain you never find yourself on that path.”

[Shouldn’t you be saying that to the current Adilun?]

“I told you, you are also Adilun.”

[No. That child and I are different entities. We’ve been through different events, at different times. Can you really say such beings are the same? So... this is right.]

I could feel my existence gradually fading.

It was meaningless. No matter how much we talk, in the end, we were parallel lines.

He was living in the present, but I was a person trapped in the future, unable to see the present.

So, this was right.

Yet, still.

His vow to prevent the current Adilun from facing a future like mine... made me happy. Because at least I could tell that the current him genuinely cared for her.

Yes, this was good enough.

Gradually, my vision blurred. At that moment, he had an expression of sudden realization and said to me,

“… Haa. So, that’s how it was. Yes, Adilun. Rest easy. Anyway… we’ll meet again.”

[What?]

With those words, I was enveloped in darkness.

--- End OF The Chapter ---

[TL:  Hey, everyone! Today, I've finally published the last chapter of 'Fiancé of Dragon' on Patreon! 

Honestly, I don't know how to feel. I feel accomplished... and lost. I feel happy... but also sad. I feel proud to have completely translated my first book... and sorrowful that I can not translate it anymore. 

Though no matter how I feel, the thing is we have finished translating our first-ever novel!! And trust me, there are many more to come!! That reminded me: If you liked my translation, you can go read 'Picking up Unrequited Love'. Not lying. It's currently my favorite rom-com novel. Here's the link: https://www.readingpia.me/series/picking-up-unrequited-love

Hope to see you guys there too. 

Happy Reading!! 

P.S. I didn't translate from chapters 100 to 108 because the author is not satisfied with the side story and wants to rewrite it. Once he does, I'll translate those chaps as well. Thank you.

Join Patreon to support the translation and to read up to 10 chapters ahead of the release: https://www.patreon.com/taylor007  ]]

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