Chapter 98: Marriage (4)
[Physis’ POV]
The preparation for the proposal was complete; now all I had to do was deliver it.
But I had no idea that choosing the right moment would be this difficult.
When exactly should I do it? When should I give it to her? It was not something I could half-heartedly toss out.
The atmosphere... they say the atmosphere is crucial... but what exactly is that atmosphere?
Before I came back in time, all I knew was how to fight, and even after reincarnating in modern times, it was a period when the world was tilting on its axis—no time to even dream of something like romance.
So how could someone like me know what the appropriate atmosphere is for a proposal?
It was just eating me up inside.
But I couldn’t afford to fret. If I gave it away, Adilun would notice. She was already busy enough with wedding preparations; I couldn’t add more to her plate.
I should pick a quiet time, go to some nice place... but the problem was, I didn’t really know any good places.
...I just don’t know.
I pride myself on being somewhat skilled at other things, but I was utterly inexperienced at this... to the point that I dread my own anxiousness about failing.
Lost in my thoughts and full of frustration, I had no choice but to rack my brain yet again today.
What on earth is the best atmosphere?
* * *
[Adilun’s POV]
Lately, Physis seemed a little off. Like he was somewhat restless.
Just a moment ago, he said he needed to think and stepped outside the room.
Could it be the wedding that was troubling him? Most likely. I felt the same way.
Marriage... It was a word that was both sweet and yet tinged with a hint of fear. It was a ceremony that would commit us to walk through life together.
Even though we had sworn to be with each other, it was true that there was a small lingering fear before the wedding.
Thoughts like, can I really do this well?
I felt that there was much to prepare for.
Right after the wedding, I would have to undergo the procedure of officially becoming the lord of Rodenov. Wrapping up my successor classes, preparing to inherit the title of Duke of Rodenov from my father.
Father had always said that once I got married, I would inherit the lordship of Rodenov.
Ah, it’s all so confusing.
I wanted to lighten my mood somehow. Just... I wanted to go somewhere expansive, to relish the sense of space itself.
Ah.
Finally, something came to my mind.
The bell tower. Located in Caltix Castle... the bell tower.
Whenever my heart felt heavy, I would go up there. The scenery I loved the most. There was no better place to lift my spirits.
Maybe it was time to visit the bell tower again.
Spurred by the thought, I started walking.
I opened the door and stepped outside, only to see Physis looking rather restless.
“Physis?”
“Ah, Adilun...”
“You seem troubled lately. Is something bothering you?”
“Well, it’s just...”
He started to say something but then fumbled his words. I couldn’t quite figure out why he was acting this way, and it was starting to frustrate me too.
Mina had said that most people get like this before marriage... but that doesn’t make it any less vexing.
I wanted to know the reason, but looking at his hesitant expression, I feared it might only strain our emotions. Both of us were already on edge, juggling wedding preparations since returning from Ortaire.
We both were trying not to lash out at each other. Unloading our frustrations on each other wouldn’t do either of us any good.
“If you can’t say it, you don’t have to.”
“...yes. But where are you going now?”
“There’s a place I want to go for a bit. Want to come? Maybe it will help ease some of that heaviness.”
Physis nodded at my words.
“Then let’s go.”
I extended my hand to him, and once he took it, I led him toward the bell tower next to Caltix Castle. It was situated quite high up.
We climbed the circular stairs for a good while until finally reaching the top of the tower.
Creak.
The door opened with an old, rusty sound. What followed was the sight of a massive bell.
“This bell...”
“You’ve probably heard it too. It rings when night falls over Rodenov, signaling the end of the day.”
“I see.”
Beyond the giant bell, something else came into view.
Below the bell tower, the entire fortress city of Caltix Castle was laid out before us.
The landscape I loved the most. The soul of my homeland, Rodenov, that I always kept in my heart.
I opened my mouth and began to tell Physis about my favorite view, just as he had once shown me the landscape of Ortaire. Now it was my turn to show him.
“I love this view.”
“...”
Physis said nothing and simply looked down below the bell tower. The night had already darkened. The interior of Caltix Castle, nestled under the moon and stars, seemed to evoke a particular sentiment just by being seen.
Peacefulness. Yes, that was what I could call this.
“I like the winter garden, and sometimes even the snowy landscapes outside the windows. But this view is what I love the most.”
“Why?”
“Because from here, you can see the entirety of Caltix Castle.”
“...”
“The night when everyone is at rest. The tranquil night sky with the vast expanse of stars above. And below all that, the view of Caltix Castle. And... the wind that sweeps through all of it. Can you feel it, Physis? The wind is about to blow.”
As if on cue, a gentle breeze blew through moments later.
Whoosh.
The sound swirling through the empty air was devoid of any extraneous noise.
“Is it cold? Or refreshing?”
“Refreshing.”
I gave a faint smile.
“Good to hear. If you’d said it was cold, we might have had to relive the past.”
A smile involuntarily formed at the corners of my mouth.
“When the wind blows, the bell shakes slightly. Along with that minuscule vibration, there’s the chill you feel the moment the wind hits you. That touch of coldness on my skin reminds me that I’m alive.”
Physis didn’t say a word. He seemed to be simply appreciating the scenery, just as I described it. I wondered how he perceived this scenery deep within his heart.
I didn’t know, but... I hoped he loved this view. If I could be greedy for just a moment, I wished this could be his most cherished scenery as well.
“In the moments when the wind makes me aware of my own life, I look at the landscape before me. A night where everyone has fallen into rest. Isn’t it peaceful? A scene filled only with the sound of the wind?”
“...”
“When the wind ceases, only then do I look up at the sky. When the howling wind stops, it’s the quietest time. And when I look at the stars in that moment, it feels as if countless shining stars are blessing me.”
“...”
“That’s why I love this view the most. Because it feels like the very fact that I was born is a blessing. What about you?”
“I’m a brute and ignorant, so I don’t really know. Before my regression and after, all I knew was fighting. I might have been quite dry to feel something while watching this kind of scenery. The reason I feel something in Ortaire’s landscape comes from the nostalgia of my childhood.”
“...”
Then, he opened his mouth again and continued his words.
“But one thing’s for sure. This scenery... will probably become my most cherished.”
Why did his words make me so happy?
I grabbed Physis’ hand and led him to sit on the railing of the steeple. Neither of us mentioned the risk; we just felt the wind.
A sigh escaped me in the biting cold wind. But that sigh scattered in the wind and disappeared, soon after which his hand grabbed mine.
That sliver of warmth. The belief that he would be by my side forever blew away all the worries I had ever felt.
“If you have any worries, tell me now. I’ve just... let go of my own.”
“What worries?”
“Fears about the future. Will I be able to make it? Can I dream of a wonderful future with you? These worries have gathered and become fear. Women usually get anxious before marriage, you know. It’s not that I’ve lost faith in you, but this fear just came to me. Did you feel the same Physis?”
“...I did.”
“Then tell me. You’ve been a little off lately. Is there something you’re worried about? I told you not to say it earlier, but... I actually want to hear what’s on your mind.”
He didn’t respond, lost deep in thought.
“Adilun. Wait?”
Then, he seemed to make a decision, his eyes were shining... as he took my hand.
“Um, why?”
“I have something I really want to say.”
What was it? At that moment, I felt a surge of anticipation. What could he possibly say?
He led me in front of a massive bell. Then, at a spot where the whole of the Caltix Castle could be seen below us... he took something out of his pocket.
Small and square, yet, an exquisite box.
I knew instinctively what it was.
He opened the box. What was revealed were a pair of delicately crafted diamond rings.
Ah, so that’s what he’s been worried about. That’s why he’s been so restless.
I couldn’t say anything. A whirlpool of emotions overflowed within me.
“As I said earlier... I’m a brute and ignorant, so there’s a lot I don’t know. But at least this much, I think I can say.”
“What are you saying?”
“I want to protect this view that you hold so dear.”
He got down on one knee.
“I have no grand or touching words that come to mind, but there’s something I absolutely want to say to you.”
“...”
“I want to walk through life with you. So... Adilun.”
“...”
“Marry me.”
“I’ve bound you with my words. And you’ve done the same. Isn’t that so, Physis?”
What spilled from my mouth were jumbled words.
“You may call yourself a brute or ignorant, but you were never either of them. You’re more remarkable than anyone else.”
A tear slipped down my cheek, compelled by overwhelming emotion.
“So... yes. I’ll walk through life with you. My love.”
I extended my hand toward him. He slipped the ring onto my left ring finger, and at last, the vow binding us was complete.
The worry that had settled deep within me evaporated completely.
Ah, it was such a trivial worry.
If we continue to move forward, respecting each other... eventually, we’ll reach the end.
I was so overwhelmingly happy that, as he rose to embrace me, I couldn’t help but cry for a long while.
Through twists and turns, and a long winding journey... we’ve finally arrived at this moment.
How could I possibly say I’m not happy?
--- End OF The Chapter ---
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