Chapter 5 – Lily (2)

 

Lily doesn't really care about what Starchis wears.

 

As long as she can meet him, nothing really matters.

 

However, her heart was sad when he wears something bad or without thinking about it.

 

When everything was over and Starchis comes out wearing yellow clothes. She felt like it was not very important from the start. But she wished him to wear more pretty clothes and she wished that he also feel excited to meet her as she does.

 

She wants him to think about and put some effort into what to wear, all day and night before they met.

 

'I know this is my own greed, but can I still force him to wear a little prettier clothes?'

 

Still, seeing him, Lily let out a sigh, calming her pounding heart.

 

'By the way, earlier… I made a big mistake.'

 

Lily didn’t expect the smell of Starchis to be so good. He said he smelled, but to her, it was no different from a drug.

 

So far, she had learned from books that even body odor feels good for people who like it, but she didn’t expect it to be this much…

 

The price of curiosity was great.

 

She sniffed him and hugged him.

 

She almost didn’t even realize they were hugging.

 

His body odor was so intense that even the event of hugging Starchis was no big deal.

 

'It would be nice if that scent was completely mine...'

 

'..It’s really a pity that the treaty doesn’t allow that.'

 

Already now… Lily started to miss that scent. She thought that she would have to find out if there was a way to turn that scent into perfume when she got home. 

 

'...Or should I sneak into his room and steal some of his clothes.'

 

But it was just too dangerous for her.

 

'It's really, really dangerous.'

 

'If Starchis sees me like that… He will think that I… I… Changed!!

 

Lily embarrassingly swallowed her saliva.

 

'Haaaaa, what should I do…!'

 

While waiting for Starchis to change his clothes, Lily stomped herself into his bed.

 

She screamed in her head.

 

Although she always pretended to be okay on the outside, but in reality, she was a mess.

 

When the feeling of being too ecstatic passes, she always feels ashamed and regrets it, and if she still didn't have this experience, it would feel like she has lost half of her life…

 

Even in complicated moments, her rational voice tells her that one thing is certain....

 

'If I keep going like this, Starchis will notice my feelings.'

 

When she thinks about that, she suddenly felt the blood draining from her face.

 

'Okay… I was about to get caught. It didn't look like a thing that someone from his family or his sister would do.'

 

Lily pretended to treat Starchis as family and narrowed the distance with him.

 

Since they couldn’t be lovers due to the 'Starchis Treaty', she took the 'family route' in that lane.

 

It was farther away from a lover, but she chose it because it was closer than friends.

 

Starchis accepted her insistence and also accepted her as family.

 

From the outside, they looked like family but if one looks closely, they were nothing like that.

 

If one thinks about it a little bit, one will understand how flimsy and far-fetched this excuse is.

 

She liked him for believing in her unnatural appearance.

 

But if she loses her temper and shows him how much she loves him, even he will start to doubt her.

 

He will find out.

 

What she originally wanted was not a family....

 

But a lover.

 

No matter how much she draws the line. It's always like this.

 

'Should I draw the line a little harder so it won’t be noticed?'

 

Lily was a girl. She pretends to be an older sister in front of Starchis and is easy-going, but deep inside her heart, she was a tender girl.

 

She couldn’t tell that she liked him because:

 

First, she is too shy.

 

Second, there is a fear of rejection.

 

Third, the treaty will be broken.

 

The reason why she didn't reveal her mind was not just the silky treaty. It was her own low self-esteem and fear of rejection.

 

To one it seems like she should confess to him and tell him the truth but it was a lot harder than just saying it.

 

“Ha... Really. I can’t keep doing this…”

 

She herself knew that she could not stand it and was thin the line of the pact.

 

Then, if she makes a mistake, the treaty will be broken and a Starchis war may take place among the three women to see who takes Starchis.

 

'If I have an abnormal appearance like today, can I win the war?'

 

She was not sure.

 

For her, this is a war that should never happen. If that war doesn’t happen, she can just live like now.

 

She can meet twice a week for work, go on a date for a day or two, and enjoy an exciting event like today once every few months.

 

But if war broke out… If anything goes wrong. This kind of skinship will no be longer easy.

 

Will Starchis, a foolishly honest man, have a skinship with another woman even after he has a lover?

 

Probably not.

 

So that's why it was a future that shouldn’t exist.

 

A future where she is not the one standing by Starchis’ side.

 

'Absolutely not.'

 

Starchis and her future going in a different direction, it shouldn’t be like that.

 

'I can’t touch Starchis..'

 

'I’m going crazy.'

 

'I have to be with Starchis for the rest of my life.'

 

Lily took a deep breath.

 

She needs to calm her beating heart until Starchis comes out.

 

Her heartbeat seems to be high too often these days…

 

'Is it broken?'

 

'Huhhhh... When did it start to break down like this?'

 

Lily searched her memory.

 

****

 

Lily remembered the past:

 

It had been weeks since Lily admitted that she likes Starchis.

 

'Yeah, I had to admit it.'

 

Everything Starchis did after that incident seemed too good.

 

How could it look cute to be startled by bugs?

 

Her face turned hot as he wiped away his sweat, revealing a glimpse of his abs.

 

When she lay in bed, she couldn’t sleep because of her thoughts.

 

No matter what she did, she didn’t seem to hate him.

 

But for fear of getting caught, and ashamed, Lily hadn’t spoken to him in weeks.

 

She felt like she was a little distant from him, but she couldn’t help it.

 

Her heart felt like it would jump out if she got close to him, so she couldn’t talk at all because her voice was trembling.

 

“Lily ssi. Are you here?”

 

It was the day she would enter the dungeon again after thinking about him for five days.

 

As always, he greeted Lily.

 

“Ah… Eww..”

 

After muttering in an ant voice, Lily finally answered with a nod of her head.

 

He didn’t care about the reaction that could have seemed a little brusque to the other party members.

 

After saying hello to Saintness Vienna and Knight Luss, the briefing began.

 

“Today’s goal for our party is to investigate the pack of wolves. I thought about accepting a dungeon quest now, but I saw a mission that seemed a bit serious, so I put off the dungeon quest for a while and chose a quest to help the nearby village. Are you all fine with it?”

 

“Chis, do whatever you want. I will always follow you.”

 

Luss replied.

 

“Why don’t you do whatever you want?”

 

Vienna answered, but...

 

“…”

 

...Lily couldn’t answer and instead nodded her head.

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

Excluding Lily, the three party members exchanged glances. In particular, Vienna and Luss exchanged little serious glances.

 

It was very obvious why they were doing that.

 

Even Lily could see that her own appearance was strange.

 

She hadn’t looked like this until an incident a few weeks ago.

 

Although they were a bit blunt, they had good conversations and complimented each other often, but after that, whenever Starchis spoke to her, Lily became mute.

 

Starchis thought the party atmosphere was going weird, so he asked Lily.

 

“Lily ssi… That… By any chance… Are you uncomfortable?”

 

“Yes!!? No!! No!! Absolutely not!!”

 

 She didn’t even realize it but her reply was so loud that everyone was shocked.

 

But she didn’t want to give him the perception that she hated him. So she said again.

 

“Never!! Absolutely not!!”

 

“Ah..! Um… Is that so? Your voice sounds a bit too loud, so calm down.”

 

Lily felt her face turn red. She was also afraid that he might start to hate her because of her stupid appearance. 

 

It’s such a big word to say in a few weeks…

 

She was ashamed and wanted to hide in a mouse hole.

 

“That... You seem to have changed a little, but there must be circumstances.”

 

“Y-yes... The circumstances… There is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Starchis!!”

 

“Yes, Chis. Lily says she has a problem. Let’s not make it more difficult for Lily, let’s continue the briefing for now, shall we?”

 

Starchis nodded at Luss’ words. 

 

As Starchis’ gaze moved away from Lily, she felt her breath catch.

 

‘But it must be because of her mood that Luss looked at me coldly, right?’ Lily thought.

 

“Well. Okay. Continuing on, the place we are going today is a small village to the north.

 

“People are frightened by a pack of wolves of unknown size appearing near this village.

 

“Looks like people in the village can’t move. Because of that, they can’t even go to the city to buy groceries, so they are running out of food. I think the situation is more urgent than I expected. Many copies of the same information have been delivered from the village.

 

“You can hear wolves roaming around the village at night, and the livestock are dead in the morning. There are speculations that the wolves are just looking for an opportunity to trap and eat the villagers.”

 

After Starchis said this, Vienna asked a question.

 

“… Isn’t it a pretty dangerous situation? Why wasn’t the subjugation mission given right away?”

 

“Because they don’t know the scale. A lot of dungeons are suddenly appearing in the east now, so they are busy, but I don’t want to move inefficiently. That’s why our mission today is an investigation mission. I guess we just need to find out how big the wolf pack is and what kind of wolves they are. As the situation was urgent, each of the guilds applied for a riding horse this time. So we can go quickly and investigate. Hopefully, this quest may be finished today. It’s nice to do that too. Understand?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“…”

 

When he got up and finished the briefing, Vienna and Luss answered, but Lily couldn’t.

 

She was not particularly ashamed of it now. Because of what he said at the end.

 

‘Uh? horse? I can’t ride…'

 

'Will he think this is a nuisance? Speak up! Do you want to be hated for not being able to speak?'

 

'Ugh... I can’t just stop talking. I will have to speak!’

 

Many thoughts ran through Lily's mind.

 

“Lily ssi?”

 

When she didn’t answer, Starchis approached and stared at her.

 

Lily was at a loss as to what to do. 

 

'…Should I say it here?'

 

“That that… There..”

 

“Lily ssi, can’t you ride a horse?”

 

But he asked as if he had read her thoughts. She felt her face turn red and nodded her head.

 

“Oh as I thought. I have seen Vienna and Luss riding, but I hadn’t seen Lily ssi, so I was a little worried. Hmm. It’s okay. If you can't, you can just ride with me.”

 

“What?”

 

“What Chis?”

 

“!!”

 

Unlike Vienne and Luss, who were both shocked and startled, Lily didn’t say anything.

 

She was the most shocked out of them.

 

“She said she don't know, right? Then she can ride with me. Even if I look like this, I ride horses pretty well.”

 

“Chis, I’ll pick up Lily.”

 

“Yeah, yes! Or leave it to me Starchis!”

 

“No. I can't make you guys uncomfortable. As the leader, I have to do it. Now, Lily ssi, is there anything else?”

 

Starchis was moved by the active actions of the two.

 

To think that they were so considerate of Lily and willing to endure discomfort for each other.

 

He thought it was a well-planned party based on the party members’ sense of consideration.

 

Lily nodded her head again without speaking. Her heart pounded so much that her ears buzzed. 

 

“No, Chis. Wouldn’t it be more comfortable for Lily to ride with me, a same woman?”

 

“Yeah, right! Starchis, are you stupid? I will take care of Lily. What do you think..?”

 

“No. You guys are ready to do something even if it makes you uncomfortable, but I can't let that happen as a party leader. I should not. And I also think I need to talk to Lily ssi on the way.”

 

Vienne and Luss shut their mouths at Starchis’ words. The two couldn’t find anything to say.

 

Because Lily has been weird lately.

 

Vienne and Luss guessed the reason, but Starchis couldn’t, so he thought it was time to talk to her.

 

Of course, he didn’t mean to ask why, he just wanted to make it easier to talk again- Based on the advice Starchis had received from his older brother the day before.

 

****

 

When the horse seemed tired after a long run, Starchis raised his hand to signify that they should go a little slower.

 

Vienne and Luss, who had been following behind, saw that and both slowed down.

 

The horse exhaled in a steady rhythm and began to walk.

 

Lily was sitting behind Starchis, her hands were around his waist.

 

The first time she put her hands on him, she kept getting dizzy because the blood rushed to her head thanks to her non-stop thumping heart, but after a few hours, it calmed down a bit.

 

Lily relaxed her thighs and arms, which had given her strength to keep from falling off her galloping horse, and enjoyed the scenery.

 

Sounds of nature, the smell of the forest, and the clear sky, everything made her feel comfortable.

 

“That... Lily ssi.”

 

As she slowly breathes in the air and enjoys the scenery, Lily’s heart, which she thought had calmed down, thumps again.

 

Because Starchis had spoken to her.

 

She knew, they would have a conversation, as he had already warned.

 

But her still heart fluttered slightly.

 

“…”

 

Lily took a deep breath and swallowed her saliva, inaudible to him.

 

“…Lily ssi? If you’re nodding your head, I can’t see you right now? Haha..”

 

Stachis playfully raises the reins and speaks.

 

Was it because of Starchis’ jokes that eased the atmosphere, or because his face was not visible? Lily seemed that she could speak a little bit.

 

“…Yes.”

 

Lily answers in a crawling voice. Fortunately, her voice did not tremble.

 

“Um… How’s the party life? It seems like we’ve been together for half a year.”

 

This was unexpected for Lily, who knew he would ask why she was like that these days.

 

But she was embarrassed to show her surprise, so she replied in a calm, serene voice.

 

“…Good.”

 

“Oh is that so? That’s fortunate. Hey, aren’t Luss and Vienne nice?”

 

As she tries to nod her head, Lily opens her mouth.

 

“…Yes. They are both good to me.”

 

“I’ll say it now, but actually, before Lily ssi joined our party, I was worried a lot about whether or not to find a new party member.”

 

“Ah.. Is that so?”

 

“Yes. Luss and Vienne suggested otherwise, but it seemed to me that the firepower was a bit lacking. But I think it’s very fortunate that Lily ssi came. Should I say that the part I was worried about is completely gone? “

 

When he gives her light compliments that were nice to hear, it also puts her at ease. 

 

Her tickling and floating feelings were replaced by the emotions that had made her heart thump.

 

It also makes breathing a little easier. Her hot face also warms up.

 

“Even Luss and Vienne said I was right in the end. Our party seems to have become more stable now.”

 

“..Thank you for the compliment.”

 

"Hahaha." Starches laughed.

 

And suddenly a brief silence ensued. 

 

The wind caressed Lily’s cheek gently. Once again, his fresh, natural scent reached her. 

 

“Lily ssi, can I ask you some personal questions? Now that I look at it, I feel like I know very little.”

 

Lily was a person that took a long time to get acquainted with.

 

It wasn’t that she didn’t talk at all, but she did communicate with a slightly stiff feeling.

 

Maybe that’s why Starchis didn’t know too much about her.

 

"..."

 

“Oh, if you feel uncomfortable, you can say no.”

 

“..No. Ask.”

 

It wasn’t that Lily didn’t want to talk to Starchis either. Rather, she wanted to talk more, but she couldn’t because she was afraid that she would be hated for her strange behavior.

 

In other words, she had no reason to avoid the conversation in a slightly natural, calm state like now.

 

“Uh? It’s okay? Haha, now… Then, what should I ask first?”

 

“Yes? You have so many questions that you are having a problem in selecting..?”

 

“Ah, anyway, these are no big deal questions.”

 

Lily unwittingly slipped into a conversation with him. He was so good at leading conversations. She was afraid that he would say strange things, or that she would be hated, or that her heart would be found out by him. But now Lily felt her heart getting easier.

 

“Now, let me ask you the first question. I haven’t asked you in a while, but how old are you?”

 

“…How old am I?”

 

“I want to know if you are older, younger, or the same age.”

 

“My age is a secret.”

 

Lily, who has become more comfortable, also plays a little. It was also a question she didn’t want to answer for nothing.

 

“Yes? Is it already a secret?”

 

“You do not ask a woman how old she is.”

 

“Then just tell me if you are older or younger than me. I am 22 years old.”

 

“…”

 

“Oh! Oh, are you surprised!”

 

Whether it was because of his young age or because of his surprising behavior, his appearance seemed cute to her.

 

“Anyway, I won’t tell you.”

 

“Okay? Ah sorry. Now, the next question…”

 

“Can I ask a question too?”

 

Lily asks Starchis. Since he had been asking about her, she thought it was an opportunity to learn more about him too. She became curious about him after that incident, and she thought it would be a little unfair for her to be asked alone.

 

Starchis grinned as he sat on his horse. He felt that the conversation was going well. While thinking, ‘It’s also my brother’s advice’. 

 

His brother told him to put a steel plate on his face and say what he wanted to say. And when he followed his brother's words, as always, his troubles were magically resolved.

 

“Sure, Lily ssi. Shall we exchange questions one by one?”

 

“Yes. Let's do that. Then, shall I also ask the first question?”

 

“Okay.”

.

.

.

.

 

It’s been quite some time since they moved on horseback. The horses also let out a rough breath. The sun had also moved a little, and it looked like it would be the evening in the next few hours. However, the voices of Lily and Starchis still continued.

 

“Don’t lie to me, Starchis!”

 

“Really, it’s real.”

 

“Huh, you’re good at saying funny things.”

 

Lily was now back to her old self. No, she looked better than she used to. She was a bit blunt, but now she was steady with her words. Her eyes came alive. She gave a more lively feel overall.

 

“Now, Starchis? Then ten… Was it fourth? May I ask you a question?”

 

“Yeah, that’s right- oops”

 

The horse stumbled slightly as it stepped on a stone beak. Lily, who was behind him, was also startled and hugged Starchis, wrapping her hands around the waist. Her heart skipped a beat, perhaps because she was startled by the shaking of the horse or because she was hugging Starchis, she didn't know.

 

She felt different while hugging his waist now after a long day of talking than morning when she had to hug him due to the fast speed of the horse.

 

If in the morning her heart raced because she was embarrassed, now that she had a conversation and felt a little more at ease, her heart was pounding because of feelings that were a little more affectionate than embarrassing, and a little shady.

 

She wanted to hold his waist a little tighter.

 

The feeling in her palm seemed to be getting more and more sensitive.

 

Lily took advantage of the situation and impulsively tried to press her breasts against his back.

 

She soon realized what she was doing and started blushing.

 

“Lily ssi, are you okay?”

 

“Yes… Yes. I'm just a little surprised?”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“What do you have to be sorry for, Starchis?”

 

Starchis calmed the surprised horse. And he was silent for a moment and then laughed.

 

"Hahahaha...."

 

“Why are you laughing?”

 

“No. I think Lily is back to normal now.”

 

“…So what? Don’t you like it?”

 

“I am so happy. Anyway, let’s continue. What was your question?”

 

“…”

 

'He’s happy, so I’m happy too.'

 

'Anyway, so the question I was about to ask…'

 

'Oh, I just have a sudden curiosity.'

 

'…May I ask?'

 

Lily had a harder time putting the question out of her mouth than she thought. She didn’t know why either.

 

“..That…”

 

“Yes? Ask.”

 

“This is a meaningless question so…”

 

She even added an excuse. It was embarrassing, but she wanted to change her mind, but this time she didn’t back down. She asked and answered questions all day, so it wasn’t strange no matter what she asked. So Lily thought she couldn’t let go of the situation.

 

‘It’s natural. I can just ask.’

 

She comforted herself.

 

“Why are you not asking?” She muttered herself

 

“...What?…”

 

“…?”

 

“That... Maybe, maybe... Do you have a girlfriend-“

 

“It’s Chis. I think everyone is here.”

 

Luss cut her off.

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