Chapter 9 – Lily (End), Vienna (1)

 

“Sta...”

 

I was in a dream.

 

“...rchis.”

 

How many hours had it been now? I was so sleepy.

 

“Starchis.”

 

I could hear Lily Noona’s voice and woke up in a daze.

 

The floor was moving; Had I been walking while sleeping with my eyes open?

 

“What's wrong?”

 

Lily Noona asked, but I shook my head.

 

“Oh, I had something to think about.”

 

I couldn’t say I was sleepy. Because it would be very embarrassing.

 

But holding back what I wanted to say didn’t mean the dissatisfaction in my heart would go away.

 

Should I tell her not to ask me out like this?

 

… Okay. I had to... As naturally as possible.

 

“Today was fun.”

 

Lily Noona said while we stood in front of her house.

 

She had a soft smile on her face.

 

As I forcefully opened my tired eyes, I said what I had in mind with a goodbye greeting:

 

“We hung out until very late today. Let's try returning home a little earlier next time... Bye, Noona.”

 

Raising my hand, I waved at her.

 

But as I said goodbyes with a smile, her aura suddenly changed.

 

“…Did I hear you wrong?”

 

-Swoop!

 

Noona slowly turned her head to look at me.

 

Sigh.

 

I had thought maybe she would have been angry with me, so I made sure to not say my mind the whole day.

 

Still, I couldn’t hold back now because it had to be said.

 

It’d be silly to spoil her mood now, but there was no other moment to say that.

 

We couldn’t just get too carried away because she was enjoying it.

 

I stood facing her.

 

“Hmm… we were out much later today than usual. It must be difficult to be like this all the time.”

 

I said in a tone that conveyed my heart.

 

But it didn’t matter.

 

“That’s because we had a lot to do today. Besides, we can only meet for one day this week, isn’t it sad?”

 

“No… It’s not like we can’t see each other for the rest of our life, but if you wait 4 days, I’ll see you.”

 

“… Isn't it because we got late in buying clothes?”

 

“Thank you for the gift, Noona. Still, this is not it.”

 

“Then, what is it?”

 

Did she really not know?

 

I thought as I looked at Lily Noona who was looking at me with an impudent expression.

 

I refused to open my mouth.

 

-Chirrip!

 

The crickets chirped as I remained silent.

 

We were the only people in the alley.

 

It was already past time for everyone to go home and take a break. Only we were going home now.

 

With this brief moment of silence I kept, she should have already realized how late it was.

 

I wanted her to know how unnatural it was for us to be alone at this time when no one was out there.

 

“We shouldn't meet early in the morning and hang out until late at night.”

 

“Why not? Starchis, do you want to see your Noona get angry?”

 

I felt that the atmosphere was getting a little serious.

 

It was an unfamiliar feeling for me who used to always back away.

 

But what’s wrong with Lily Noona?

 

If someone was going to be angry, it should be me who was acting like a porter until this late. Especially for someone who always drew a line between us.

 

Maybe it’s because I was tired, so I was extra sensitive.

 

“… Noona… Why is Noona angry…?”

 

“I work hard to find interesting places and take you there, and I find famous restaurants and go around. You’re trying to ignore my efforts.”

 

It may have been an effort on Noona's side.

 

Yeah, maybe I didn’t know that.

 

But it was the same for me.

 

Did she know how hard it was, emotionally and physically, to go around pampering them without taking a day off?

 

And I was sorry to deny her efforts, but she never asked my opinion about those places and what I wanted to do.

 

I forcibly tried to swallow the words, ‘I never asked for it’.

 

Because I knew how much it will hurt her.

 

I asked this instead:

 

“Are those efforts for me or for Noona?”

 

“It’s for us…!”

 

“… Us?”

 

I tried to hold back my anger, but I couldn't.

 

I took one step closer to her.

 

It was a dark night.

 

I couldn’t see her expression, but Lily Noona, who thought I would stand still, took a step back.

 

“Us?”

 

What kind of business the word 'us' had between family?

 

She said we were just like a real brother and sister.

 

Why did she keep making it hard for me after saying that?

 

“Aren’t we family? What kind of family behaves like this.”

 

“…there ...are many different types of families.”

 

“Haah…”

 

I didn’t want to fight for long. I wanted to rest because I was tired.

 

I didn’t like this emotional fight. No, I hated fighting altogether.

 

To finish quickly, I needed to get to the point.

 

As I took another step closer, she took a step back.

 

“Noona.”

 

“… Huh?.. Yes?”

 

As she kept moving backward, she bumped into a wall.

 

“I will ask you just one question.”

 

“S, Starchis?”

 

It was a confused voice. I thought she would run amok and be angry, but it was unexpected.

 

Maybe because it was the first time I was doing this, but I was quite embarrassed.

 

“This is the part that kept me confused.”

 

I didn’t think it was the case… But I was still going to ask.

 

Even when she was blocked by the wall and had nowhere else to go, I moved towards her.

 

I clung to her until we felt each other’s breath.

 

Lily Noona didn’t face me and turned her head slightly to the side.

 

“So you have to be really honest and not lie. Okay?”

 

It was dark and I couldn’t see her expression well. The moon was covered with clouds and there was no light. So I specified again that she had to be honest. Fortunately, I could see her nodding her head.

 

“Lily Noona, do you like me?”

 

“Sigh…!”

 

Recently, the sense of distance had closed too much.

 

In the past month, without a day off, all three of them called me.

 

Each of them had their own reasons, but we had an intimate kind of skinship several times.

 

There were many reasons to doubt their intentions.

 

It was not just about Lily Noona.

 

The doubts my brother expressed also became a trigger for suspicion.

 

She bowed her head. I couldn’t even see her expression anyway, so why was she doing that?

 

“Okay, I like you. As a younger brother.”

 

After being silent for a while, Lily noona answered with a trembling voice.

 

“You know I didn’t ask that.”

 

“Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”

 

“It's important. Please be honest with me.”

 

Noona was silent for another long time.

 

Haah!

 

She flinched as I let out a sigh of frustration.

 

The silence was long, no way… By the time I began to think whether she really liked me, the moon began to show its head from the clouds behind which it was hidden.

 

The moonlight shone on Lily Noona.

 

At the same time, she raised her head.

 

Her expression was so clear.

 

As if making a commitment, she took a deep breath.

 

Then, she spoke to me with a determined expression and voice that did not shake at all.

 

“No, Starchis. As a man, I don’t like you.”

.

.

.

.

.

 

Sigh… I knew it.

 

“… You don’t like me?”

 

“Yes. Starchis. I don’t like you that way.”

 

When asked again, her expression did not change.

 

Even if I stared at her, her determined expression remained the same.

 

“… I mean. If it’s not like that, so why are you like this? Noona, this may feel like a family’s distance to you, but to me, this is a lover’s distance. If you get up early in the morning to meet and part ways late at night, unless there is something special, today is the last time.”

 

“This is the last time we meet until late…? Why is that!”

 

“This doesn’t matter how long Noona is angry. I will not back down in this regard.”

 

I saw her clenching her fists. She even shuddered.

 

“I’m not backing down either. Do whatever you want!”

 

Noona shot me with words.

 

-Pak!

 

Removing herself from the wall, she shoved me away and turned around to go into her house.

 

-Bang!!

 

The door was slammed with force as if to let me know how angry she was.

 

I sighed heavily.

 

Why the hell was she reacting so hard?

 

It wasn’t that we wouldn’t meet, I just wanted to meet briefly.

 

I don’t hang out like this with other friends either.

 

Or, was she doing with me what she couldn’t do for her departed brother?

 

I didn’t think it was that.

 

My hands tremble weakly and my heart beat erratically as if I had been in battle.

 

Sleep also ran away before I knew it.

 

How will we face each other again later?

 

I was already worried.

 

Still, I had to go back now.

 

I had to meet Vienna in a few hours.

 

****

 

I came home and wiped my sore eyes.

 

The series of events with Lily Noona troubled me greatly.

 

My body wanted a break.

 

I threw myself over and lay down on the bed.

 

How long can I rest…

 

“Starchis, wake up.”

 

Someone shook me.

 

“Yes..?”

 

Silver hair and silver eyes, small stature, “… Vienna?”

 

It seemed like it had only been a few seconds since I closed my eyes.

 

Why was Vienna here already?

 

“Were you hiding in my house…?”

 

“Stop talking nonsense and wake up. It’s morning.”

 

Already?

 

I rolled my eyes and looked out of the window.

 

“Is it morning?”

 

It was definitely brighter than I remembered.

 

I couldn’t believe it.

 

Was break time over already?

 

“Vienna, I’m really tired. Can’t I get some more sleep?”

 

“What? How long did you want to hang out with Lily!”

 

“A little bit. Sleep a little…”

 

-Slap!!

 

I felt a sharp pain in my back, but I stopped myself from reacting.

 

If I endured this, would I be able to sleep again? I had such vain hopes.

 

“Get up quickly! This is my time!”

 

She spoke as if I was a thing.

 

It felt like the neighborhood kids were shouting, ‘It’s time for me to ride!’ Over the swing.

 

“Starchis. Get up before I get mad!”

 

Ah… I felt like I was going to cry.

 

It hadn't even been a while since I had a fight with Noona. I didn't want to fight again.

 

I stood up resisting my magnetic bed.

 

As I moved, she spoke in a slightly forgiving voice.

 

“Huh. If you’re that tired, you can sleep in the carriage.”

 

“…Carriage?”

 

What the hell were we doing today that she even prepared a carriage?

 

“…why are we taking a carriage?”

 

“Today we are going to an orphanage far away.”

 

Oh f*ck!

 

Were we going to do some service?

 

Still, being able to get some sleep in the carriage would give me a little bit of energy.

 

“Hurry up and wash up. We are going to see the kids. Would it be nice if you smelled like this?”

 

“Ha… Ok.”

 

I went in front of the mirror.

 

I saw myself looking more emaciated than yesterday.

 

It’s like a sick person.

 

Why would they want to drag someone like this out?

I couldn’t understand it in my head.

 

Slowly, I went to shower.

 

Vienna’s voice was heard.

 

-"Starches! Why is the room so messy!"

 

It’s because of you. I liked neat things too.

 

But I didn’t get those words out of my mouth.

 

-"I will clean up while you get ready!"

 

“Vienna, don’t touch anything!”

 

It was uncomfortable for me if she touched my things.

 

– "Huh, what? I was going to clean it up a bit, but why?"

 

“I feel uncomfortable. Just leave it alone.”

 

-Tatataptatap

 

Suddenly, I heard her running towards me.

 

“Hey! Are you uncomfortable with me?!”

 

And she screamed loudly.

 

It was so loud that it worked better in waking me up than a shower.

 

“Quiet. Everyone in other rooms must be sleeping.”

 

As I slept in a small room at an inn, I always paid attention to the people around me.

 

I then wet my head with the water I scooped up.

 

“Answer me quickly!”

 

Why was she so full of energy?

 

Oh, she must have had a good rest yesterday.

 

I was envious.

 

“It’s not that you’re uncomfortable, it’s just I feel uncomfortable if you touch my things. Don’t get me wrong, go sit down.”

 

She was the type of person who didn’t listen to unpleasant words.

 

Even if her words were harsh, she was soft inside, so when someone cursed at her on the road, she was sullen all day.

 

No matter how unique, a saintess was a saintess.

 

The girl who grew up hearing only kind words in the church was not going to adapt so easily.

 

As if my words had cleared up the misunderstanding, she relaxed her throat and muttered:

 

“Huh. Say that from the beginning. And where is the place to sit on this pigs' farm?”

 

Oh really, it wouldn't have been like this if it weren't for you three.

 

By the time I thought about whether I should say that, she hummed and went back again.

 

-"Starchis, how about breakfast?"

 

“Lily noona cooked something for me a while ago. It’s in the magic food box, so let’s take it out and eat it.”

 

I heard her running again.

 

“Vienna, stop running-“

 

“-Did Lily come over and cook for you? When?”

 

This time, Vienna’s expression looked serious.

 

“You know when the other morning when you guys forcibly came into my room. Then, Noona cooked breakfast.”

 

“… Ah, that’s that time… Again… No one has come into your house since then, right?”

 

“Except for you who came in without permission, there is no one. By the way, how did you get in?”

 

“…The door was open…?”

 

Oh, didn’t I lock the door after I came in?

 

I didn’t remember because I was tired.

 

“Don’t come in just because it’s open.”

 

“So would I just scream from the hallway? You didn’t wake up! It’s dawn and!”

 

“It's dawn? You said it was morning earlier.”

 

I said, wiping my hair with a towel.

 

I wanted to know the correct thing this time, so I looked up at Vienna, but she was no longer there.

 

-"Come out soon. Let’s eat some rice!"

 

… She always ran away when she was at a disadvantage.

.

.

.

Vienna ate all the food Lily Noona had prepared before I came out of the shower room.

 

I wondered where all that would fit in that small body.

 

“It was that tasty..?”

 

I asked Vienna, dumbfounded, as she walked clutching her dainty swollen belly.

 

“It was tasteless.”

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