Chapter 50

Early at dawn, I stood frozen for a long time in front of Vivian’s room.

Around the door, several maids were looking up at me in puzzlement.

A subtle tension seemed to linger on their faces as well.

It was probably because Vivian had ordered them not to let me approach her.

Noting their stares, I remained frozen there for quite some time, then finally mustered the courage to knock on Vivian’s door.

-Knock. Knock

No answer came.

Even so, I knew she was awake.

Without waiting for a reply, I opened the door.

As I expected, Vivian was already up.

She wasn’t in her nightgown from the previous evening; instead, she was dressed neatly.

Her hair, washed clean, had a glossy sheen, and her skin looked pale and fresh.

Her feet, which had been dirty from walking on muddy ground, were now spotless.

“...You were awake. Why didn’t you answer?”

“...”

Vivian didn’t respond to my question.

An unmistakable awkwardness colored her expression.

She wouldn’t even meet my gaze, scrunching up her nose in displeasure.

It was a subtle display of discomfort.

You could even say it resembled fear.

“...”

Seeing that look on her face only made me regret yesterday’s events all the more.

I felt so guilty about it that I couldn’t even sleep last night.

I spent the entire night in my room, staring into space, then came here at dawn to see Vivian.

I figured the longer I hesitated, the thicker the awkwardness between us would become.

Vivian spoke first, in a tone demanding an explanation.

“...Who said you could... show up like this?”

“There’s no reason for me to hide anymore. I’ve already met the Dubos Ladies.”

“...You haven’t seen Asha-”

“-And would that really change anything?”

“...”

Silence followed.

I didn’t look at Vivian, and Vivian didn’t look at me.

After the heat of the moment had cooled, it was difficult to find any trace of yesterday’s madness.

And for some reason, that awkwardness was painfully unsettling.

It felt as though everything we’d built between us had crumbled away.

Though it was hard to call what we’d built ‘positive memories,’ there had at least been some form of bond. Now that, too, seemed gone.

Steadying myself, I took a step toward Vivian.

“...Vivi—”

Vivian immediately stepped back from me.

I halted, staring at her.

“...”

She glanced at me for just a second, then flushed and scrunched her face again, turning away.

It was as if even she didn’t fully understand her own reaction.

Like a cornered mouse baring its teeth, she forced her anger to the surface.

“Why... why did you come here?”

“...Since when did I ever need a reason to visit you?”

“But... today is...”

“...”

She wasn’t wrong. Today was different from all those other days.

What happened yesterday wasn’t something I could just pretend never occurred.

I hesitated for a moment, then steeled myself.

I had come here to apologize for what had happened the day before.

Without that, I felt she would keep avoiding me.

I didn’t want that.

“...”

I clenched my fists lightly.

Having never apologized to her even once, the words caught awkwardly in my throat.

But I knew I had to say them.

She hated me. She called my feelings dirty.

And I took those two things and used them to strike at her.

“About yesterday...”

As I started to speak, my eyes landed on the nape of her neck.

Though I’d only meant to bite lightly, the faint bruise on her white skin had turned a bluish tint.

Like footprints left in the first snowfall, a perfect imprint remained on her skin.

“...”

Seeing it, a fierce surge of desire tore through me again.

But I forced myself to focus, steadying my thoughts.

“...I’m sorry about yesterday.”

At my apology, a flicker of confusion flashed across Vivian’s face.

“...Huh? What for?”

“What?”

She blinked several times, tilting her head slightly.

“...What are you sorry— Ah.”

Realization dawned on her belatedly, and she went still.

I felt confused by her reaction.

Wasn’t she hurt by what happened?

As we were caught in our shared bewilderment, someone else knocked on Vivian’s door.

-‘Lady Vivian, it’s Asha Dubos.’

Her voice was filled with guilt and caution.

Vivian shot a brief look my way.

Uncomfortable with the silence between us, I stepped forward and opened the door first.

Standing there were Asha and Rani.

Most likely, Rani had confided everything to Asha out of concern.

From the puffiness around her eyes, it was obvious she’d been crying a lot.

Asha’s expression was far from bright as well.

She was startled the moment she saw me.

“K... Kylo Allen.”

I gave a slight nod in greeting and turned my gaze to Vivian.

“...Ah.”

Vivian seemed to snap back to her senses when she saw Rani’s face.

Her expression seemed to say, ‘Oh, right, you’re here too.’

It must have been quite a shock for her.

She’d unleashed so much rage on Rani, then promptly forgotten about her because of my actions.

Asha broke eye contact with me and bowed her head deeply to Vivian.

She spoke in a composed manner.

“On behalf of the Dubos family, I offer my sincerest apologies to you, Lady Vivian Rondor. I acknowledge that Rani’s... foolishness must have caused great offense to the House of Rondor.”

“...”

“I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive my thoughtless younger sister just this once. I assure you something like this will never happen again.”

As if to prove her sincerity, Asha didn’t even glance my way.

It was clear she intended to sever any connection with me entirely.

Rani began to cry again.

Watching her, I let out a sigh.

I didn’t feel at ease about this.

I could understand Vivian’s feelings.

I also knew Rani’s behavior had been insulting.

Still, from my perspective, Rani was one of the few people who’d shown any genuine interest in me.

Yes, she had been a bit bothersome, but that didn’t mean I wanted to see her reduced to this.

Now that my anger had cooled, I hoped Vivian would make the right decision. Though I wasn’t exactly in any position to hope for that.

I simply stood there, silent, looking at Vivian.

It was only then that Vivian managed to meet my eyes.

She looked back and forth between Rani and me, her face filled with turmoil.

Then, running a hand over her neck, Vivian stepped toward the Dubos ladies.

She moved in such a way as to hide the spot where I had bitten her.

It was an awkward motion, but it was clear she didn’t want anyone to notice that mark.

I pressed my eyes shut again.

I really shouldn’t be thinking this way... but somehow, seeing her so self-conscious looks oddly appealing.

As Vivian approached, Asha lifted her head to face her.

“Don’t raise your head.”

Vivian’s commanding tone halted Asha in her tracks.

I realized part of the reason was simply so Vivian could keep her neck hidden.

Not knowing what was going on, Asha and Rani cowered under her order - Keeping their heads bowed, waiting for Vivian’s words.

A heavy silence followed.

In that long silence, Vivian let out a deep sigh.

Gradually, her embarrassment and confusion faded away. In their place, the cool composure of a ruler emerged.

Wearing that expression, Vivian looked at me.

I, too, looked into her crimson eyes.

“...”

“...”

From where I stood, I could see Vivian standing tall and proud and Rani with her head bowed in submission.

Vivian’s face, as she presented this scene to me, seemed to convey a message:

If you get close to anyone else, this is what’s going to happen.

Anyone you take an interest in, I’ll keep stomping on them.

If you don’t want to see them suffer, you’d better watch your step.

But all those threats of hers were meaningless.

I had no intention of getting involved with anyone like that in the first place.

Vivian brushed a hand over the bluish bruise on her neck, then turned to face the Dubos sisters.

She spoke.

“Rani Dubos.”

“...Yes, Lady Vivian.”

“...I trust you now understand the depth of my hatred for Kylo Allen.”

“Y-yes, I—I understand, Lady Vivian.”

Vivian nodded once, then spoke with a slightly relaxed expression.

“...I’ll let it go just this once.”

Asha and Rani lifted their heads in surprise.

But they quickly lowered them again when met with Vivian’s icy stare.

“I don’t believe our friendship should end over something like this. I’d like to consider it a single mistake and move past it.”

Asha expressed her gratitude.

“Lady Vivian, thank you so mu—”

“—However.”

Vivian cut off Asha’s words. The Dubos ladies immediately tensed up.

“...However, there is something I need you to do for me in return.”

“Just say the word.”

“Because I haven’t set foot in society, I’m worried problems like this will continue to arise. I find it quite irritating to imagine some other foolish noblewoman who doesn’t know about my relationship with Kylo Allen taking a fancy to him.”

I glanced at Vivian. There wasn’t a trace of falsehood in her eyes.

So she really does despise the idea of me getting close to anyone else.

I couldn’t blame anyone but myself.

When our relationship had been more strained than it is now, I was the one who practically invited her to torment me all she wanted.

And so, Vivian tormented me in kind.

Though various things had happened along the way, making me think I’d grown closer to Vivian, it appeared she still wanted to make me suffer.

Vivian spoke again.

“I understand. Some young ladies might be momentarily interested in him. He is the eldest son of a great family, my prisoner, and a knight who slew a dragon at age fifteen, after all.”

After this remark—impossible to tell if it was praise or sarcasm—she fixed them with an even colder glare.

“...But he remains my enemy. I still hate the Allen family for taking everything from me.”

Rani trembled. Her terror was almost palpable.

Vivian continued, even as she observed Rani’s fear. With her old personality, she wouldn’t have been able to do this.

But the resolve and steel in the fifteen-year-old Vivian were a far cry from what they were at thirteen.

“Ladies Dubos, I have a favor to ask of you.”

Asha answered with certainty.

“Please, go on.”

“Whenever you meet other noblewomen, spread the word of how deeply I loathe Kylo Allen. Make sure what happened today never happens again. Make sure no one, absolutely no one, shows him any kindness... not a single soul...”

At some point, Vivian looked up at me.

Countless emotions swirled in her gaze.

Based on her words just now, I expected only hatred and anger there…

...but there was something else, something sticky and hard to define. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

“...Do you understand?”

Vivian, eyes still on me, posed the question to the Dubos ladies.

“Yes.”

Asha responded firmly.

Rani remained silent.

Vivian wasn’t about to let that slide.

“...Rani. Your answer?”

Trembling, Rani nodded.

“...Y-yes.”

“Would you mind explaining how you’ll go about it?”

She pressed for a detailed response, cutting into whatever feelings Rani once had for me, piece by piece.

“I-I’ll... let the other ladies know... a-about your hatred for Kylo Allen, Lady Vivian...”

Only then did Vivian’s face light with satisfaction.

I let out a quiet sigh.

Lowering her eyes, Asha cautiously lifted her head to speak.

“...L-Lady Vivian. Perhaps we should return home now.”

“It’s still raining, you know?”

“...We have no intention of overstaying our welcome.”

“If we part ways like this, won’t our next meeting be awkward?”

Asha shook her head.

“We’re only grateful you’ve forgiven our rudeness, Lady Vivian. When enough time has passed and we see each other again, I’m sure things will be far more pleasant. Even though you’ve been so generous with us, we understand you need time to deal with your anger toward us.”

“...Won’t you at least stay for a meal?”

“We’ll leave without dining.”

Vivian mulled over her words, then nodded.

“Very well, then.”

Asha bowed deeply once again.

Then she started backing away, preparing to leave.

Rani followed Asha’s lead, bowing as well, then retreated.

At the last moment, Rani raised her head and stole a glance at me.

Her eyes were filled with regret.

“...Ha.”

Seeing that look, Vivian let out a cold, hollow laugh.

Her face contorted with dark displeasure.

Startled, Rani tore her gaze away from me, bowed again to Vivian, and fled as if running for her life.

With a swirl of mixed feelings, I closed the door.

Silence settled over the space shared by just Vivian and me.

Vivian walked back to her desk as if nothing had happened.

Talking with the Dubos sisters seemed to have loosened some of her rejection toward me, and the mood felt somewhat similar to what it used to be.

“...Did you really have to go that far?”

Lacking anything else to say, I asked.

Vivian replied like it was obvious.

“Would you have done it any differently if you were in my shoes?”

“...”

“Think about it. Let’s say you captured the son of the man who murdered your parents and siblings. Now that boy—day in, day out—goes around out of control, consumed by lust... Could you really just let him roam free?”

“...”

“It’s best for everyone else to be aware of my warning, too. Am I wrong?”

I couldn’t deny there was some logic to her words.

Left with nothing to say, I ruffled my hair in frustration.

When you get down to it, everything I’d done to protect her was just my own self-satisfaction. I wasn’t in a position to expect anything now. She had also warned me that she hated it, and I shouldn’t protect her.

Finally, I spoke.

“Fine. I get it.”

I’d apologized, and the tension had eased. I was about to return to my room—Or maybe fetch a new bandage for Vivian.

That was… until Vivian stopped me.

“Where are you going?”

“...Why?”

When I asked, Vivian answered.

“The Dubos ladies are leaving.”

“...So?”

Vivian snorted lightly.

“We have to eat.”

“...”

Her suggestion was so abrupt that it left me momentarily at a loss for words.

In this atmosphere? After saying how much she hates me?

But it looked like Vivian had already made up her mind.

Perhaps she felt relieved after what she’d said to the Dubos sisters because a faint smile played on her face.

“I’m just going to wrap a bandage around my neck before we head out. Get ready, Kylo.”

She added:

“...It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

– – The End of The Chapter––

 

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