Chapter 111: Like a Pryster (4)

Keirsey lay silently crying under the blanket.

Struggling not to tremble, unknowingly letting out sighs, she wept silently, tears dropping steadily.

It was astonishing. She couldn’t comprehend how she could feel this way.

The fact that Cayden was alive brought her an overwhelming joy that made it hard to breathe.

Yet, she felt so utterly insignificant. In this insignificance, she found a new revelation.

For the first time in her life, she realized she was not suitable for Cayden.

Having him by her side all her life, she arrogantly thought of him as her own.

Until things went awry, she believed it was her place to spend the longest time with him, as he cherished and adored her the most.

She didn’t realize he had given her the seat beside him as a sister... and audaciously pushed away and fended off those who sought to take his heart.

She always thought she was being robbed of her place. Whenever Cayden looked at someone else with tender eyes, she thought her share was being stolen.

Even when she belatedly realized her love for him, she thought it would be fine once she overcame the formidable barrier of being his sister.

But now, she understood.

All of that meant nothing.

From the start, she wasn’t even fit to aspire for a place beside him.

His love was never meant to be hers. It couldn’t be.

After all, people always find someone who matches them.

They find someone on their level.

Keirsey had overlooked that.

Being so blissfully happy by Cayden’s side, she was merely clinging to him forcibly.

Comparing herself with Judy, Keirsey felt nothing but defeat.

Herself, who drove Cayden to death... and Judy, who brought him back to life.

Herself, who always saw Judy as a rival… and Judy, who still worried about her, asking if there’s anything she could do to help.

Herself, who could only cry in defeat, and Judy, who stood up and took action.

...The only advantages she had were all given to her.

Being born as a Pryster. The chance to meet Cayden from childhood. The intimacy built through him.

Beyond that, there was nothing to be proud of.

Even if there hadn’t been the barrier of being his sister... she realized she was never the right match for Cayden.

Ironically, the relationship she thought was a barrier, being his sister, turned out to be her greatest asset.

If she wasn’t his sister, he wouldn’t have spared a glance at her pitiful self.

Even she would choose Judy, radiant and supportive, over herself.

As a woman, she was simply not enough for Cayden.

Realizing this fact hurt her deeply.

Even though she was grateful that he was still alive, it hurt her immensely.

She was disgusted with herself for not being able to thank Judy right away, the one who saved him.

Even at that moment, she hoped Judy and Cayden wouldn’t get closer.

But she kept such thoughts to herself.

She had some sense of shame.

So, even upon hearing that Cayden and Judy had gotten closer again... she suppressed her dislike and congratulated them.

Keirsey absently touched her throat.

When she first lost her voice, she didn’t think much of it. It wasn’t shock or fear.

After all, she didn’t need her voice.

Without Cayden, she had no intention of speaking with anyone else.

But now that Cayden had returned.

The loss of her voice pained her terribly, fearing it might never return.

Even amidst all this, she couldn’t give up on Cayden. If only her voice would return, she could at least try.

But she couldn’t say anything.

When Cayden appeared before her, she wanted to cry and apologize a hundred times over, but could only make unintelligible sounds.

She wanted to say she loved him. That she loved him madly. To beg him not to leave her again... but even that couldn’t be verbalized.

It was suffocating.

Judy, who wasn’t even engaged to him anymore, could still laugh and converse with him.

While she, so pitiful, had lost even the means to express her feelings.

She couldn’t convey her heart through writing. She desperately wanted to say it aloud.

Keirsey cried again, overwhelmed by a sense of loss.

.

.

.

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“Keirsey, wake up.”

Keirsey knew from overhearing the servants that they had delivered food.

She rubbed her eyes continuously under the blanket, trying to erase the traces of her tears.

When Cayden approached and shook her again, Keirsey reluctantly peeked her face out from under the blanket.

Cayden hesitated when he saw her face. Keirsey realized he had noticed.

She wasn’t sure how messy her face was... but in truth, her Oppa would have noticed even if she had wiped away the traces well.

“......”

Cayden said nothing to her in that state. He pretended not to notice.

...Cunningly, Keirsey felt a desire for him to show concern.

She had rubbed her eyes so much, hoping he wouldn’t notice, but now that he pretended not to, she wanted to lean on that expectation.

However, Keirsey blinked somberly. She knew she didn’t deserve it.

Even this moment was a blessing. An unbelievable blessing.

Just the thought of never meeting him again could bring tears to her eyes.

She had to be thankful for this moment.

Cayden came with two bowls of porridge, handing one to Keirsey.

She cautiously accepted the bowl.

“....Eat.”

He said. Although she felt a misconception that he was less warm towards her, Keirsey could sense the hidden emotion in his tone.

So, she nodded her head and took the bowl with heavy arms.

Then, Cayden circled the bed, pulled a chair next to Asena, and sat down.

Keirsey slowly rolled her eyes to look at Cayden.

Cayden, aware of Keirsey’s gaze, spoke.

“....Keirsey, eat first. Stop looking at me.”

Keirsey nodded and took a spoonful of food.

The moment she averted her eyes from him, she found herself longing to see him again.

Keirsey again stealthily rolled her eyes to glance at Cayden.

Cayden, whom she observed, had a sorrowful expression.

Sitting next to Asena, he looked down at her with an expression of deep pain.

Keirsey felt tears welling up, touched that he still cared for them.

It wasn’t a feeling of happiness, just a heavy heart.

Cayden let out a deep sigh.

He seemed to shake off his hesitation, shifting his hand.

Then, he gently stroked the forehead of the sleeping Asena.

...Keirsey saw the familiar, kind brotherly figure she had known for so long. It had been too long since she saw him return to his familiar self.

“......Asena.”

He cautiously called Asena’s name, gently moving his hand from her forehead to her cheek.

“....Oppa didn’t die... so let’s regain consciousness and get healthy.”

“......”

Cayden scooped some food with a spoon and brought it to Asena’s mouth.

He tried to open her lips with his other hand.

Asena’s jaw didn’t open easily, as if her body instinctively rejected the food.

“....Eat, Asena. Let’s eat.”

As if she could hear him, Cayden continued to coax her in a warm tone.

Keirsey blankly watched this scene from the side.

Perhaps hearing his words, Asena’s mouth opened more easily on Cayden’s second attempt.

Cayden gently fed her the soft porridge.

“....Just swallow it. You can do it, Asena.”

But immediately afterward, Asena began to cough.

“Cough..! Cough...!”

The food she had struggled to swallow trickled back out over her lips.

Cayden, with an even more distressed expression, gently wiped her cheeks.

He clenched and unclenched his fists, restless.

“....This can’t happen... Asena... this can’t happen...”

He bowed his head and hid his expression.

He remained motionless for a long while in that state.

Keirsey, watching him, felt her heart flutter. Still, when she looked at him... she felt nothing but love.

It seemed like he was the only one who would worry about them this much.

She hated her own greed.

She had never wanted anything but Cayden, but Keirsey realized that even wanting Cayden was a greed in itself.

Cayden got up.

Then, slowly supporting Asena’s back, he helped her sit up.

Keirsey watched him and offered a hand.

“...Keirsey. It’s okay. Don’t strain yourself. You need to take care of your health first.”

Then Cayden squeezed his body behind Asena.

Keirsey, even amidst this, was startled by his approach and her heart started to race.

Cayden, having entered the bed, gently laid Asena down again.

Positioning Asena between his legs, he slightly turned his body to cradle her head in the crook of his arm.

With his free hand, he scooped up more porridge, gently coaxing her as he fed her.

“....Asena, now it should be easier to eat. Come on, open your mouth.”

Cayden’s spoon pried open Asena’s mouth, which now opened easily, unlike before.

He carefully poured the food into her mouth again.

This time, Asena didn’t cough.

Maybe because her upper body was tilted, making swallowing easier, the porridge smoothly disappeared into her mouth.

“Well done... well done...”

Once she easily swallowed the food, Cayden let out a sigh of relief, bowed his head, and gently pressed his lips to Asena’s forehead.

It seemed like his restraint was gradually loosening.

Perhaps because Asena was asleep, he was able to express his affection as usual.

Regardless, Keirsey, watching this, felt an intense envy of Asena.

Her childish, greedy self stirred again.

She pleaded with herself to remain still this time, but her arms no longer had the strength to hold the spoon.

She longed to feel his presence, to feel the warmth of him she had missed so much.

Cayden, oblivious to this, continued to care for Asena.

“...Good job, Asena. Let’s eat more. Right.”

Whispering to Asena, he shifted the spoon to her, who was cradled in his arms.

Asena, who hadn’t properly eaten for days, now accepted the food without resistance in Cayden’s embrace, even in her sleep.

It was as if Cayden was the key to her body.

Keirsey watched, her own meal cooling, unable to bring herself to lift her spoon.

.

.

.

.

“....Phew.”

The bowl was empty. Although it wasn’t a large amount to begin with, a quiet sense of relief filled me, knowing that Asena had eaten it all.

Regardless of how I want to treat Asena, that decision can be made after she wakes up.

There’s no brother who would just stand by while his sister lies weak, possibly leaving this world.

Gently wiping Asena’s lips with my finger, I concluded the meal.

Somehow, her looking pitiful in my arms, my actions flowed naturally as before.

“....”

Looking down at her lying in my arms, I unconsciously stroked her cheek with the back of my hand.

Suddenly, I realized that perhaps my feelings for my sisters weren’t entirely normal. I do tend to be quite attentive. It’s hard to let go of my feelings for them.

“...Well done. Let’s eat like this again tomorrow.”

Whispering these last words to Asena, I carefully lifted her body.

I got out of bed to lay her back in her original position.

“......”

Then I raised my head.

I hadn’t noticed Keirsey earlier, as my back was turned to her.

She sat with her head slightly bowed, holding her bowl.

There was still a lot of food left in it.

Feeling just as concerned for her as for Asena, I asked, a bit embarrassed only to realize now.

“...Why, Keirsey. Don’t you have an appetite?”

Keirsey slightly lifted her head to look at me, then bowed it down again.

She seemed to have something to say, raising her head again... but with her aphasia, she couldn’t speak to me.

Seeing her open and then close her mouth, I turned around and approached her bed.

“Can’t you eat?”

Keirsey shook her head.

“...Then why?”

Keirsey glanced at me again, then lowered her head and, with trembling hands, handed me her bowl.

“......”

Then, as if feeling shame, she kept her head bowed.

The accident I had gone through clearly brought many changes to Keirsey.

Even asking to be fed was done with such carefulness.

Of course, the change in our relationship played a role, as did her congratulating my relationship with Judy.

I wondered. How scared must she have been of being pushed away by me, to tremble so much. Or perhaps, she felt it was too much after all that happened to even ask.

“.....”

I couldn’t be cruel enough to ignore my sister who was suffering from aphasia, simply because she loved me.

Seeing her cold meal brought many thoughts to mind. How much she must want me to feed her, to wait until her food grew cold.

I pulled a nearby chair and sat beside Keirsey.

Keirsey was startled by my action. She looked surprised that I accepted her plea.

I scooped up a spoonful of porridge and brought it to her mouth.

Now, Keirsey looked at me with a mix of emotions, not at the food, but directly into my eyes.

“....Stop looking at me and eat, Keirsey.”

As if brought back to reality by my words, Keirsey slowly moved. She opened her mouth slightly to accept the spoon.

While she swallowed, I prepared the next spoonful.

And waiting, we held each other’s gaze for a long time.

Even grown up, she needed me to feed her. Would a normal brother find this bothersome?

...If that’s the case, then I was definitely not normal.

As she swallowed, I brought the next spoonful to her mouth.

This time, she didn’t space out like before and opened her mouth to accept the food.

“....If you could eat this well, you should have taken better care of yourself before your health deteriorated.”

“......”

She couldn’t speak. She just kept swallowing the porridge.

After about three or four spoonfuls...

I scooped another spoonful while looking at Keirsey.

Her mouth gradually slowed down, and then... a tear fell.

“Ah...? Huh...?”

At the sight of her tear, Keirsey seemed surprised herself. She made an involuntary sound and hastily wiped her tears.

I don’t know why, but I was deeply moved too. I did my best not to show it.

Pity certainly played a part.

Pretending not to see her tears, I held the spoon.

“...Here.”

Keirsey, sniffling and wiping her tears, opened her mouth. She seemed to be trying to calm down.

“....You need to get healthy.”

I said lightly, trying to lighten the mood.

“.........”

“.........”

“...Hic...”

And that comment ended up making Keirsey, who had been holding back, finally cry.

---  End Of The Chapter ---

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