Chapter 99: Weight of Vengeance (3)
“.....Damn.”
Day 3 of the journey.
With only two days left to reach Bones’ domain, the merchant who had stopped by a small village nearby let out a groan.
After rubbing his chin for quite a while, he gathered everyone to make an announcement.
“....Our destination has changed. We can’t go to Bones.”
Questions sprouted in my mind, but I made sure not to show it. After all, I had achieved the purpose of heading north to some extent.
I wasn’t curious nor did it matter why he changed our destination. What mattered was-
“Where are we going then?”
I asked.
He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.
“Ah, you are here too. Right, since the destination has changed, I should tell you. We’re heading to the Benthrock House. Will you follow?”
The Benthrock House.
Even this was a familiar name to me.
I know the son of that house, Kyle Benthrock.
In the novel, Kyle Benthrock was a spy who exposed the twins; Although he was later caught and executed.
In terms of my relation to him....well, he was also the person who first told me that Keirsey was talking behind my back.
“.......”
It was somewhat burdensome.
If I were to go there I had to be wary of the Benthrock House, as it would mean entering the territory of a house skilled in information gathering.
Will this really be okay?
Well, revealing my identity won’t be a big problem, but it was still awkward.
Of course, it’s not like I have much choice. Even if I were to part ways with the merchant here, the distance to the next city is significant.
Bones’ territory wasn’t the destination in the first place. It seemed better to find another means of transportation to the Hexter House from Benthrock’s territory.
“I will follow.”
“Good, let’s stick with that then.”
He said. Then he pointed to the rest of the escort team.
“Don’t you folks worry. The day to escort may be reduced by one, but you’ll still be paid in full.”
****
That evening, we arrived at the domain of Benthrock. The Benthrock family didn’t have an extensive territory, and their entire domain was encircled by a castle.
Unlike the Cecil family near the Pryster domain, which I had visited before, this was my first visit to the Benthrock family, so I didn’t need to worry about the guards recognizing me.
There was also no need to prove my identity. With the merchant’s vouchsafe, we all passed through the castle gates together.
Shortly afterward, I parted ways with the merchant.
The merchant, pressed for time, hastily paid the mercenaries their wages and left.
The city was filled with the sounds of music and the scent of food. Although the journey had been long and a part of me desired delicious food and a somewhat decent place to rest, I shook my head.
While I wasn’t exactly strapped for cash, the length of the journey ahead was unknown. It seemed best to be frugal with money.
After modestly filling my stomach and renting a cheap lodging, I took a rest.
.
.
.
.
The next day, once again, I somehow found a merchant who would take me to the next town.
If there was one problem, it was that this merchant would not set off until three days later.
Somehow, I managed to prove my worth to him and successfully secure accommodation and meal expenses for that duration, but the more time was delayed, the more a vague and sticky sense of pressure was felt, unavoidably.
Whether it was merely an enemy conjured by my imagination, the feeling of someone watching me was persistent. Was it because I had abandoned the twins? Or because I was in the domain of the Benthrock family? Regardless, the more it happened, the more I carefully concealed my face under the hood.
Even in the Benthrock domain, rumors about me were echoing. Asena’s influence had spread this far.
Although I was already aware, once I departed, I newly felt just how tremendous Asena’s power was. Or should I say Pryster’s power instead? Keirsey would also hold similar power.
Only after becoming a commoner did it become clear how incredibly positioned they were.
Just like Asena had said, they’d become someone whom, even after crying and begging, I could not see.
That’s not to say I’d do such a thing, but it means that much distance has arisen.
This was the first time our relationship had grown so distant.
So, occasionally, I have a thought…
A thought that I do not show even a hint of in front of others: ‘What might the twins be doing now?’
****
Asena developed a new habit.
She would be startled at the sound of a knock.
‘Did they bring the news I’ve been waiting for?’ She found herself thinking so every time she heard a knock.
-Knock, knock.
Asena, who flinched in her chair, opened her mouth again.
“Come in.”
Helen entered as the door opened. Just like the twins, her face had also become pale, mirroring her mistress.
“...Lady Asena.”
“....So?”
Asena pretended to be calm, looking down at the documents. She was neither reading nor writing anything, but still pretended to be occupied with something.
“...We couldn’t find him.”
It was the same thing she heard every day, but for some reason, her heart sank every time she heard them.
For two days, Asena expressed her anger towards Cayden, but on the third day, she ordered everyone to find him.
As he had already made up his mind, it was not possible to bring him back, but she wanted news about him.
Logically, using the power of the ducal house, finding a person was not a hard task.
Where he was, what he was thinking, whether he missed them — she wanted to know everything about him.
If he was getting close to another woman, she had to know that too. Against Daisy, currently, she was helpless, but it was different if another woman were to take advantage of his situation to get close to him.
She couldn’t bear to see him becoming friendly with another woman after abandoning them.
In any case, for numerous reasons, Asena tried to find Cayden, but he disappeared from the world like a mirage. Much time had passed, and there wasn’t even a word about having seen him anywhere.
Each time she heard this fact, Asena writhed in agony. She couldn’t even know where her brother had gone.
No matter how confidently she declared she would never see his face again, she was fearful that it would indeed come true.
“....You may leave.”
Asena could no longer bear the abnormal reactions bursting within her body.
Upon Helen’s prompt compliance with the order and her departure from the room, Asena clutched her head and slumped over the desk.
Her shoulders shuddered as if shaken by a chill, and her breathing quickened.
Only now did she truly feel how dark the world was without him.
And, as expected, it was hard to endure.
Her longing for him deepened as the days passed. And the unbearable pain came from not knowing the end of it.
She knew it too. This was just the beginning. It had only been 7 days since he left.
He was not someone who would return soon, no matter what he put himself through.
That fact tortured her.
Asena snapped to her senses, feeling the taste of blood in her mouth.
At some point, she had been unconsciously biting her lip.
Asena stood up. She could bear it no more.
.
.
.
.
For the past 7 days, pride had kept her from even trying to come near here. No matter how much she missed Cayden, even though she attached pursuers and informants to find him, in front of Helen, the head maid, and Thein, the butler, she acted like she was not waiting for his news.
But even that was now over. Like a person drawn to drugs, Asena stood in front of Cayden’s room.
-Creak.
Without hesitation, she opened the door.
“......”
And immediately, she could see it. The person already occupying Cayden’s bed.
It was Keirsey. While her figure wasn’t visible, it was all too clear that she was lying under the overturned blanket.
Perhaps because Cayden’s disappearance had left her without reprieve? Her anger, which had been very easy to ignite recently, flared once again, and she approached the bed, yanking away the blanket.
Keirsey, deprived of her blanket, blinked and awoke from her sleep. There were distinct tracks of tears.
She said nothing to Asena. She glanced at Asena once with tired, sleepy eyes and then closed them again.
“....Get up, why are you here?”
Asena roused Keirsey, who was trying to fall back asleep.
Given the circumstances, all sorts of thoughts crossed her mind.
But the thought that Keirsey was taking away Cayden’s scent bothered her the most. That Keirsey, her own sister, was erasing traces of Cayden, whose return was uncertain, by rubbing her body all over his remanents.
“....Just leave me alone...”
“If you’re going to be like that, get out without erasing more traces of Oppa..!”
“But Unnie, you said you’d hate Oppa.”
Keirsey’s curt words left Asena speechless, suddenly wondering what the point of her petty actions was.
Soon, Asena suddenly realized she was becoming petty because she lost something so precious.
When she was basking in his love, they didn’t fight over those trivial facts - like who was lying in bed.
But now, he was gone.
And she realized no matter how greedy she was over the leftovers, like catching a contagious, miserable disease... she could never be satisfied anyway.
For a moment, she felt pitifully pathetic for having sought this out.
Keirsey, who had been lying in bed, closed her eyes again. Tears trickled down from her eyes.
Whether Asena’s arrival caused ripples in her once calm emotions, her breath started to quiver slightly.
Then, as if vomiting out thoughts she had been holding back, she spoke while trying to control her trembling breath.
“......Unnie...can you see...?”
“......?”
Asena didn’t say anything, not understanding her words.
With her eyes tightly shut, Keirsey continued.
“....I used to come to Oppa’s room...every day...I visited every day.... *sob*...why do I only see these shabby things after Oppa has left...?”
At Keirsey’s words, Asena stiffened for a moment before slowly allowing her eyes to roam.
And just as Keirsey had said, such things came into view all too easily.
The room, having lost the light and specialness called Cayden, was dreadfully shabby. She hadn’t noticed when he was around, being entranced by him.
The streaks-stained window. The quaint teacup and pot without Cayden beside them. The faded wardrobe. The stained floor. The worn-out sword stand. The old table and chair.
It wasn’t intentional discrimination, but she couldn’t help but be shocked at the scene.
Keirsey murmured.
“....I should have treated you better...huh....when you were here, I should have been better...”
Asena bit her still-unhealed lip once again and heard Keirsey continue.
“What if this is why you left...? If our dislike was just an excuse, and you left because of accumulated dissatisfaction, then what...? Why couldn’t I see it...?”
All Asena could do was clench her fists. She couldn’t afford to be weak-hearted now. Even if she missed him enough to secretly visit Cayden’s room, outwardly, she had to hate him. That was the promise she made to her Oppa.
That way, Cayden might feel regret. She could show that she would not live submissively.
But....the more flaws she saw in this room, the more she deeply agreed with Keirsey’s words. Everything was so shabby that she thought, unknown to her, Cayden might have indeed harbored dissatisfaction.
He had always been considerate of her, but she felt she hadn’t done the same until the very end.
Until the last moment, she only spat out words of hatred towards him - She was selfish and filthy to the end.
Asena began to feel stifled.
She had regrets, but knew if the situation arose again, she would act the same.
Because she couldn’t see him leave with a smile.
Because that was her personality. After all…
...What else could she have done? How could she have restrained that anger? How could she have acted indifferently while she desperately wanted to hold onto him who was leaving?
“...Ah.”
However, no matter how much she justified herself, she could not easily face Cayden’s shabby room.
The room wasn’t a complete mess, but every imperfection reminded her of her regrets for not treating him more preciously.
Keirsey slowly sat up, wiping her tears.
“...Unnie. So, give me the blanket. I can’t... I can’t look at it... Oppa...”
She swallowed her tears once and then suggested to Asena.
“...Let’s... let’s fix this room up a bit.”
“...What?”
“...If Oppa comes back....no. When he comes back...no. If he...”
Unable to finish her sentence, Keirsey furrowed her brows, and another tear trickled down. Once again, she was unable to finish her sentence.
“....Anyway. I can’t stand looking at this room. Let’s fix it up....so if Oppa comes back, he’ll be pleased...right?”
Asena had no other response. She just nodded weakly.
****
From the next day on, everything in Cayden’s room began to change. The old furniture was all thrown away, and items that were damaged or dirty were also replaced with new ones. Although the things touched by him were gone, the twins somehow managed to let them go.
The only things that weren’t changed were Cayden’s bed and blanket.
Though the distinctive scent that had been embedded in the room had mostly dissipated during the upheaval, that too, they had no choice but to let go.
Somehow, while cleaning his room, Asena and Keirsey found the most peace they had in the last 8 days.
Of course, occasionally, when items related to the precious memories they shared emerged while tidying his room, once again, sorrowful tears were shed.
Like the letters and flowers they found in the corner of the room that they had gifted him when they were young, and even pebbles they had thought suited to their handsome Oppa…
With heavy, tearful sighs, they neatly put aside the nostalgic items and concluded the room’s renovation.
Although workers removed and installed the heavy furniture, all other decisions were made by the two of them.
As evening arrived, while observing the organized room, Keirsey slowly sat on the bed.
If he were to return to this room, she knew he would be joyous.
And if observing the changed room, he praised them, thanked them by patting their heads, cherished them with hugs, and gave them kisses, it would be wonderful.
She chose not to consciously think that this was an unattainable dream.
She already knew all too well that thinking of it would bring pain.
Asena slowly approached and sat beside her.
The two said nothing.
They were the ones who knew each other’s pain the best.
Having organized the room this way, both felt a sense of emptiness.
“......”
“......”
However soon, their silence was shattered in an instant.
-Bang!
“Lady Asena! Lady Keirsey!”
Helen burst in, not even knocking, and Asena’s heart jumped.
“...Helen-”
Without even stopping for Asena to speak, Helen continued.
“I found him...! Cayden...!”
--- End Of The Chapter ---
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