Chapter 94: Awakening (4)

The last class came to an end.

Leaving behind the joyful exclamations of numerous nobles, Asena and Keirsey returned to their room and gathered the belongings they had prepared beforehand.

While the majority of people were busy dolling themselves up for the upcoming party, the two had no desire to do so.

Their intention was clear: they wanted to return to their estate as quickly as possible.

After all, there was no one they particularly wanted to befriend, nor was there anyone they needed to protect. The person who met all these conditions was already in the Pryster estate.

Asena’s heart had already started to race. Even if they left right now, it would take days to see him, but the very fact that the moment to reunite was finally coming filled her with anticipation.

The separation from Cayden, an experience she had never faced before in her life, had been extremely difficult. Not having heard any news about him only intensified her longing.

It had been a month. A month of holding back.

Of course, it wasn’t as if she only had positive feelings. An equal measure of negative emotions had filled her. She was scared that Cayden might push her away... and as time went on, her desire for him also grew.

...Perhaps the silver lining was that, as far apart as he was from her, he didn’t have the opportunity to grow close to another woman either.

In any case, she wanted to see Cayden. Even if things didn’t go well, she wanted to meet him and rid herself of this lingering anxiety.

After all, isn’t it better to rip off the bandage quickly? Not being able to see the wound—Carrying this fearful emotion—had become too exhausting for her.

Asena climbed into the carriage first, waiting for Keirsey.

“......”

Since the tearing of Cayden’s letter, there hadn’t been any proper conversation between them.

As if it had been a great shock and disappointment, Keirsey’s expression had turned frightfully stern the next day.

So much so that even her friends left Keirsey alone.

Soon, Keirsey, with her luggage, climbed into the carriage.

Her expression was still cold. She had never seen Keirsey like this before. At least, never for this long a stretch.

Asena sighed inwardly and extended her hand first.

It would already be insufficient even if they showed their beautiful side in front of Cayden. Arriving in conflict like this would serve no good purpose.

Her hand softly touched Keirsey’s knee.

“......What is it?”

Keirsey shifted only her eyes to look at Asena.

Unyielding, Asena spoke.

“.....I’m sorry.”

“....What?”

“We’re going to see Oppa. We can’t keep going on like this.”

“......What are you talking about? What’s going on with us?”

“.....?”

Asena began to feel confused when Keirsey made a face that genuinely didn’t understand what she was talking about.

Before she could find the words, Keirsey added,

“...Unnie, I have some things to think about. Let’s talk later.”

None of the affection she usually showed toward Cayden was present. Now that Cayden had left, aspects of Keirsey that had never been visible before were beginning to surface.

Since this was the first time Cayden had been away, she had never considered that such an inherent nature could be hidden within Keirsey.

And then, looking at Keirsey, who maintained her stern expression while staring out of the carriage window, Asena realized that she had genuinely moved on from the issue of the torn letter.

Asena was confused.

.....Even she was uneasy. Then why was Keirsey acting the way she did all this time?

****

Nine whole days.

Having realized that he had the leisure to send letters, and that he had been sending them to other women… Keirsey had endured for nine whole days.

Every single day, she had asked the mailman if there was a letter for her.

In the last letter, hadn’t she pleaded for even a few light-hearted words, saying how much she missed her Oppa? Hadn’t she begged?

Had even one letter arrived, she would have forgotten all the pain she had felt up to that point.

But she received no such words from him.

Rather, she had multiple opportunities to confirm other letters he had sent to Judy or Daisy.

He was deliberately ignoring her.

She knew why he was doing it, but that knowledge did nothing to douse the flames that had been set ablaze in her heart.

The most she could do was to not get angry at Daisy or Judy. Suffering silently was the best course of action, so as not to let her feelings leak out.

Sometimes, she glared piercingly at Daisy, who was in the same department, desperately hoping she would provide some sort of pretext... but that opportunity never came.

So Keirsey had no choice but to return to her estate in this manner.

Her mind was already made up.

She didn’t know how this decision would manifest itself, but she knew it wouldn’t be pretty.

Amidst all this rage, the one thing she could clearly see was her burning love for him. Hence, she felt this insane jealousy, enough to alter and distort her very being.

The obedient version of her, the one full of affection, was seen by him as nothing more than cute—a mere little sister.

...He was underestimating her.

So, she decided to change; she would no longer act that way.

Keirsey began to rehearse the words she would say to him. She mulled over every word, trying to find the sentence that could most clearly convey her intentions to him.

...It wasn’t easy.

She felt that she would only know how to act once she met him.

****

-Knock, knock, knock.

“Lord Cayden.”

While sipping my tea, someone called out to me.

“Come in.”

Tomorrow would be the day the twins arrive. If everything goes as expected, they should arrive sometime around noon or evening.

The door opens, and Helen walks in.

Through the open door, the voices and footsteps of bustling servants echo in the air.

“...What’s going on?”

When I question Helen first because of the commotion, she nods and replies.

“Lady Keirsey and the Duchess will arrive today...”

I set down my teacup and inquired further.

“...What?”

“The scouting party escorting the Duchess has arrived and informed us.”

“.......”

For a moment, I paused… and nodded.

I had somewhat anticipated that something like this could happen. I had sensed it from the letters.

Especially since Keirsey seemed to miss me quite a bit.

I had thought about sending a reply multiple times, but each time I decided against it.

What’s the point of showing them affection now? It would only make it harder for them to detach from me, and might even give them hope for something impossible.

I rose from my seat.

...Regardless, it has been a while since I last saw them, so I felt that I should prepare.

I already suspected that Keirsey had not, but...

‘...I hope they’ve changed their minds.’

After all, I had no way to respond to any other outcome.

****

Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo... Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo...

As the echo of the trumpet faded away, the clip-clop of the horses pulling the carriage grew more distinct.

It was late evening. The scent of an array of colorful dishes, hastily prepared by the servants, filled the air.

Grandmother Liana, the servants, and I all waited for the family head who was about to arrive.

How should I react?

What should I say?

I’d wrestled with these questions quite a bit, but now that the moment was upon me, nothing seemed quite right.

Even expressing a familial level of joy had become a complicated matter.

The knowledge that the twins harbor different feelings towards me made even that seem burdensome.

And yet, to be entirely cold to them as I would be to a stranger also felt uncomfortable.

I wanted to greet them with appropriate warmth while signaling that my feelings had not changed.

I simply wanted to exude the nuance that we could continue on as normal siblings.

-Swoosh.

Even before the coachman had a chance to open the door, the carriage door swung open.

The first to peek her head out was Asena.

Her eyes found me before anyone else—before Grandma, before those maids who took care of her since childhood.

And the gaze she fixed on me showed no signs of waning.

She blinked a few times, then forcefully shut her eyes and opened them again. As if she were swallowing back tears.

In all likelihood, she might resent me for my abrupt departure.

But even if that were the case, at that moment, my head was so flooded with conflicting thoughts that I didn’t know what to do.

Gracefully, she stepped out of the carriage.

Next, Keirsey poked her head out.

When she did, a peculiar tension washed over me.

Keirsey had pleaded in her letters. Begging me to respond. Saying how much she missed me.

Each time, I had to forcibly unclench my fists, fighting off the temptation.

What would she do when she saw me? Burst into tears? Voice her disappointment? Either way, dealing with Keirsey’s unchanged feelings towards me was difficult. I was searching for ways to distance myself from her, knowing that she still desired and loved me as before.

Yet, the strange thing was...

...Unlike Asena, Keirsey wasn’t looking at me. She stood with her head held high, looking straight ahead.

My gaze quickly returned to Asena, who had stepped out first.

She still hadn’t averted her eyes from me and with slow steps, she approached and stood in front of me.

Usually, this behavior of hers meant she wanted a hug. That distance between us signified that.

She didn’t express affection in public, but she wouldn’t refuse if I initiated.

...So she wanted a hug—Having observed her for so long, her intentions were always clear to me.

But I didn’t move.

“It’s been a while.”

It was a normal greeting, but given our relationship, it felt incredibly stiff. Still, I didn’t caress her cheek or pat her head, I simply offered such a simple greeting.

Her face contorted for a moment, scanning our surroundings before speaking to me.

“Let’s talk inside.”

That statement felt as if she was saying once inside, away from prying eyes, she would expect a hug or perhaps even more intimacy.

Right after, she started offering casual greetings to Grandma and the servants.

Having greeted Asena, my gaze turned to Keirsey.

In the brief moment I had looked away, Keirsey was already approaching me with brisk, unhesitating steps.

I subtly raised my hand, prepared to stop her if she tried to embrace me.

But—

-Thunk.

She walked right past me without even a glance.

Rather, she bumped her shoulder against mine as she passed—a move commonly referred to as a “shoulder check.”

She didn’t even exchange greetings with the other servants.

That shoulder check was all she gave me before she disappeared into the mansion.

“......”

-Thump, slam.

Her behavior suggested she was angry and wanted nothing to do with me, and yet, it also implied that she was solely concerned about me.

With such thoughts, I exchanged glances with the others, who were clearly struggling to make sense of Keirsey’s transformed demeanor.

Everyone was trying to understand the situation, except for me who knew the reason behind it.

---  End Of The Chapter ---

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