Chapter 14: Pulled In

“Eun-ha, what’s on your mind? You seem pretty serious.”

“Ah! No, it’s nothing! Haha! Let’s go!”

It was break time during night study sessions. I was returning to the classroom with Harim after a quick restroom trip.

“Is it because of what Han-gyeol said earlier? About how he’d be happy if you were his girlfriend?”

“Wh-what?! No, no! He was just joking, you know.”

“Was he, though? It did sound like a teasing joke, but there seemed to be a kernel of truth in it.”

“Haha... You’re probably reading into it too much. Han-gyeol has had feelings for someone else for quite a while.”

I awkwardly smiled as I said this to Harim. But she looked at me with a slightly surprised expression.

“When did you two discuss this?”

“Ah-! I shouldn’t have said that...”

I immediately regretted blurting out something I shouldn’t have.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear it. But I’ve never seen Han-gyeol talk with another girl.”

“I’ve also found that strange... It’s possible she’s from another grade or even another school.”

“Hmm... What do you think of Han-gyeol? He’s pretty great, isn’t he?”

“Um... Han-gyeol? He seems mature, and it seems like he’s good at both studying and sports...”

I felt a little embarrassed saying this. More than anything, I admired his kindness and wanted to learn from it.

“Hehe..”

“However, it’s not just me who thinks so! Don’t you agree, Harim?”

“Totally~? He’s pretty rare. More articulate and thoughtful than most guys around.”

“Exactly! I think Han-gyeol is really considerate too, even if he doesn’t realize it himself.”

“What’s this~? Giving him immediate approval? You can’t, you just can’t. What if you fall head-over-heels for him?”

“Ah... Han-gyeol has someone he likes, so there’s that.”

“Does having someone he likes mean you can’t like him?”

“Huh?”

At Harim’s question, I stopped in my tracks.

Why did her question feel so heavy?

“Emotions aren’t always rational, you know.”

“Hmm... true. But if I know someone likes someone else, I think I should keep myself from liking them.”

I said this because I didn’t want my feelings to complicate matters for anyone emotionally.

“Hmm... well, if that’s how you feel, then let’s leave it at that. Come on, let’s go.”

“Haha! Right. It’s the last session, let’s focus and then go home.”

Arm in arm, Harim and I headed back to the classroom.

Han-gyeol was studying even during break time.

The diligent look of him studying... seemed a bit impressive.

He was furrowing his brow, perhaps solving a difficult problem.

Han-gyeol really was the kind of person who naturally caught one’s eye.

“Eun-ha? Aren’t you going in?”

“No, let’s go in.”

It was true that my focus was a little off because it was the last study session of the night.

But for some reason, I couldn’t concentrate on my studies.

It felt like I was just reading words.

Before I knew it, I was tapping my pencil against my notebook.

I needed to collect my thoughts.

Why am I like this right now?

I took a moment to sort out my feelings honestly.

First question: Am I like this because of Han-gyeol?

The answer was ‘yes.’

Second question: Why am I feeling this way specifically because of Han-gyeol?

Upon reflection, no clear answer came to mind.

It was a difficult question to answer, this one about Han-gyeol.

I decided to consider all possible scenarios.

Do I have feelings for Han-gyeol?

Hmm... I don’t think it’s that kind of feeling.

However, it was clear that we had a comfortable and familiar relationship.

So, what about the notion that Han-gyeol might like me?

That was wrong from the get-go. Han-gyeol already said he had liked someone for a long time.

However, the person he spent the most time with at school was none other than me.

If I had to pick one, I think I was curious about how Han-gyeol views me.

To be more specific, why did he choose to spend so much time with me, despite having feelings for someone else?

Hmm—having sorted my thoughts, it became clear.

I had been harboring questions about my relationship with Han-gyeol.

Was it okay to be this close with a guy who was already interested in another girl?

Why was I even questioning this?

It did feel odd to be close with a guy who was already into someone else.

Many say that men and women couldn’t be just friends, but with Han-gyeol, it felt like we were genuinely just... friends.

We hadn’t known each other for very long, but if Han-gyeol were to suddenly disappear, would I feel a bit hurt as a friend?

But if I, as a person of the opposite gender, harbor such hurt feelings, that could be misconstrued by others.

Friends...

Yes, we were friends, but he was a male friend with feelings for someone else.

So the real question became: Would I feel hurt if my male friend suddenly became romantically involved with someone else and drifted away from me?

Yes, that was the conclusion I had come to.

I shouldn’t let my petty hurt feelings interfere with a friend’s love life.

I should probably refrain from doing things like going to the movies together like we used to.

Ah—but there’s one problem...

****

After the night study session wrapped up, I began my walk home.

Harim took the bus home from the bus stop in front of the school, leaving just Han-gyeol and me walking home together.

“Eun-ha, about coming to your place the day after tomorrow.”

“Ah, that? Don’t worry, everything’s all set. Just come whenever it’s convenient for you, Han-gyeol.”

“Is there anything to prepare? I’m just coming over to fix your brother’s computer.”

“Well, I tidied up the house a bit because it was messy.”

“I usually don’t care about stuff like that.”

“People usually do, though.”

I had to admit, Han-gyeol didn’t seem like the type to fuss over such things.

“What time should I come? When your tutoring ends?”

“That’s okay with me. And my brother said he’d buy lunch, so don’t bother eating beforehand.”

“Alright.”

A boy was coming to my house...

It was not exactly the same, but even my childhood friend Seo-ha hadn’t been over since middle school.

In essence, this was the first time I was bringing a boy home since hitting puberty.

This was all because of my useless brother.

I swear, I’m going to kick his butt when I get home.

“Will your parents be okay with it?”

“Ah, my parents are usually busy, even on weekends.”

“Really? So, it’s just you and your brother?”

“Seems like it.”

“And when your brother was in the military?”

“I was mostly alone.”

“Must have been boring.”

“It’s fine. I’m used to it.”

“If you’re ever bored, call me. I’ll keep you entertained.”

“Hahaha! Sure!”

“I mean it! I’ll come running anytime.”

“Thanks~”

That’s Han-gyeol for you. Always kind, always considerate, always ready to lighten the mood.

“Ah, we’re almost there.”

We had arrived at the spot where we always part ways.

“Ah, let me walk you home. It’s already past ten.”

“Uh...?! No, that’s okay! It’s not that dangerous here.”

“True, but it’s better to be cautious in this world. But if it makes you uncomfortable?”

“No, not at all! I just don’t want you to go out of your way. I’d feel guilty.”

“Not at all. If you were a guy and I were a girl, you would do the same, right?”

“In that case…could you walk me to the main road at least?”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

It was late…so his concern was understandable.

It’s natural…right?

I started to feel awkward the moment I became self-conscious.

I should strike up some conversation.

“By the way, where did you learn all that?”

“Huh? Learn what?”

“You know, assembling computers! Most people don’t know how to do that.”

“I’m the type who prefers learning by doing, so I picked it up along the way.”

“You seem to know a lot of interesting things, Han-gyeol.”

“Really? Isn’t that normal?”

Suddenly, Han-gyeol leaned in, his face flushed.

I instinctively stepped back.

“Ah!”

But I tripped over a rock behind me and started to fall backward.

At this rate, a comical tumble was guaranteed.

“Hey, be careful.”

But Han-gyeol grabbed my arm, pulling me forward just as I was about to fall backward. My face ended up pressed against his chest. And I quickly pulled away.

“Ahaha...! Thanks!”

“No problem. It seems like I startled you.”

“Well, we’re almost there, so I’ll go on my own from here!”

“Huh? We’re not there yet.”

“See you tomorrow!”

I ran off as fast as I could.

Strange things kept happening when I was around Han-gyeol.

Was it because we spent so much time together?

I thought I had figured out the reason for my concerns during the evening study session...

But I still couldn’t deny it.

I didn’t know what I was feeling.

Were my emotions toward Han-gyeol really just comfort and friendliness?

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

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