Chapter 46: Small Yet Certain Happiness

 

After having our dinner, we moved to a nearby dessert cafe.

 

The weather had warmed up recently, so we decided to have bingsu*.

 

Han-gyeol was contemplating the menu, likely pondering over which bingsu I’d enjoy the most.

 

“What bingsu should we get?”

 

“Han-gyeol, you like strawberries, right? Let’s get strawberry bingsu.”

 

“Can we? Then, let’s have strawberry bingsu and... injeolmi* toast.”

 

“Can you eat all of that? We just had dinner.”

 

“Maybe it’s because I sang, but I’m still hungry.”

 

Han-gyeol said, slightly devoid of energy. Wanting to see him eat well, I promptly opened my wallet.

 

“I’ll buy. Want anything else?”

 

“It’s expensive. We split the meal, let’s split the dessert too.”

 

“I want to buy it for you. But you can’t leave any behind.”

 

At my words, Han-gyeol seemed a bit shy. Although he was initially good at expressing emotions and affection, now it seemed like I could also tell a bit just by looking at his expression.

 

What he was thinking, what emotions he was feeling right now. Perhaps we had gotten a bit closer. Something made me happy.

 

“Then I will gratefully accept and enjoy.”

 

“Yes. One strawberry bingsu and one injeolmi toast, please.”

 

“Yes. I’ve taken your order. I will notify you with the buzzer.”

 

“Thank you. Han-gyeol, let’s go.”

 

Holding the buzzer, we found a spot by the window. The outside had already darkened, and streetlights were illuminating the streets.

 

“It’s already dark, and all we did was go to karaoke and have a meal.”

 

“I know, right. Time seems to fly when I’m with you, Han-gyeol.”

 

“Same here. It’s already April, and midterms are just around the corner.”

 

“I also need to prepare for the June mock exams... It’s a bit worrying.”

 

“Let’s study hard from tomorrow.”

 

“Yep, yep. Absolutely. I think I will do even better since we had fun like this today.”

 

Spending time with Han-gyeol seemed to give me the strength to endure tomorrow.

 

‘Ah- Is tomorrow too short?’ It felt like I gained enough strength to last about a week.

 

Even if something unpleasant happens, recalling today would allow me to smile.

 

We lock eyes, smiling, when the buzzer noisily rings.

 

“Ah- I’ll get it. Stay seated.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Han-gyeol went to the counter and returned with a tray containing bingsu and toast. Skillfully slicing the toast and deeply dipping the fork into it, he brought it directly to my mouth.

 

“Here- Eun-ha, say ah-”

 

“I, I can eat by myself.”

 

“Oh- is that so?”

 

As Han-gyeol promptly put down the fork, I hastily took it up.

 

“Didn’t you say you could eat by yourself, Eun-ha?”

 

“Uh- I was just shy for a moment, that’s all.”

 

“Mmhm. I knew that.”

 

“Ah, seriously-!”

 

Han-gyeol, trying to suppress his laughter, seemed slightly mischievous. This time, I brought the toast to his mouth.

 

“Han-gyeol, say ah-”

 

“I’ll eat well.”

 

Unlike me, Han-gyeol bit into the toast unhesitatingly. I couldn’t tell if the food was delicious, or if he enjoyed being fed by me.

 

“Is it good?”

 

“Yep. It’s tasty.”

 

“Should I give you another piece?”

 

“Let’s have the bingsu first. Here- this one’s for Eun-ha.”

 

Han-gyeol, smiling, picked up a strawberry placed on top with his fork. And without fail, brought it to my lips.

 

“Han-gyeol can have it. This strawberry looks the most delicious, doesn’t it?”

 

“I can’t give my girlfriend the second best-looking one, can I? My arm’s getting tired. Eat up, quick.”

 

Han-gyeol really had a way with words. His tone wasn’t particularly soft or affectionate, but he chose only the words that made my heart flutter to whisper in my ear.

 

Han-gyeol’s heart seemed so beautiful that I joyfully popped the strawberry into my mouth.

 

“Is it good?”

 

I nodded my head.

 

Afterward, we emptied the bingsu while sharing small talk. I was full, but Han-gyeol, perhaps still hungry, wiped out even the toast.

 

“Han-gyeol must’ve been really hungry, huh?”

 

“Feels like I’m gonna gain some weight now.”

 

“Does Han-gyeol eat a lot normally?”

 

“Yeah. I think I eat quite a bit. Why?”

 

“You look so happy when you eat. What food do you like the most? Besides the pork cutlet.”

 

“That’s a tough one. But I should pick at least one, right?”

 

“Mmhm. Like, really comfort food when you’re down.”

 

After pondering my words for a moment, Han-gyeol spoke.

 

“I like salmon.”

 

“Salmon? Are you talking about sushi?”

 

“I like everything made with salmon. I like sushi, and I like it as a rice bowl too.”

 

I wanted to make it myself, but I had never handled salmon before.

 

I could follow a recipe, but honestly, I was not confident.

 

“It’d be nice if Eun-ha made it for me.”

 

Han-gyeol spoke with a slightly hopeful look in his eyes.

 

I was not confident, honestly, but if Han-gyeol wanted it, I wanted to make it.

 

“I’ve never made it before, so I’m a bit unsure, but I’ll practice.”

 

“It doesn’t matter. It can’t be tasteless if you make it.”

 

“Well, I’m happy to hear that...so shall I make it over the weekend?”

 

“Really? Then we should go to the mart together and buy what we need.”

 

“Ah- let’s buy plenty. My brother and Hyun-joo Unnie will be there too.”

 

“Let’s do that then.”

 

It seemed like it was going to be a fun weekend.

 

“So, we’ve finished dessert, shall we head home?”

 

“Already? Let’s sit a bit longer before we go.”

 

Without realizing, I instinctively held onto Han-gyeol.

 

“Do you dislike the idea that much?”

 

“No...! But I’m going to study hard from tomorrow, so can’t we stay a bit longer? I think it will be hard to study even if we go back now.”

 

“Shall we take a walk in the park to help digest, then?”

 

“Shall we? I’d like that. Let’s go to the lake park.”

 

As I tried to clear the table, Han-gyeol spoke.

 

“If Eun-ha said it with such an expression, we should definitely go to Lake Park. Well then. That being said. So how much longer do you want to stay?”

 

It looked like I was caught.

 

Han-gyeol’s smiled so adorable and lovely.

 

But now, I could reciprocate.

 

I couldn’t always be shy.

 

“I want to be with you until I die, why.”

 

Han-gyeol’s expression suddenly hardened.

 

I wanted to observe Han-gyeol’s stunned expression a bit more, but my face was also turning red.

 

“Then I’ll bring it to the exit area and come back.”

 

I hurriedly grabbed the tray and fled to the return station.

 

***

 

Moving our location to the lake park, we walked around, hand in hand.

 

Holding hands now felt natural, but the fluttering excitement still lingered.

 

“It’s refreshing and nice here.”

 

“Aren’t you cold? Be careful not to catch a cold since it’s the transition between seasons.”

 

“Eun-ha, who caught a cold not too long ago, should be more careful.”

 

“Hey- do you really think I’ll catch it again?”

 

“Saying that usually jinxes it.”

 

While sharing such small talk, we continued our walk. Even while walking, my gaze consistently found Han-gyeol.

 

“Han-gyeol, you’re always smiling when you’re with me, aren’t you?”

 

“Am I? I’m not consciously smiling.”

 

“I was talking to Harim the other day and heard that Han-gyeol doesn’t show much facial expression.”

 

“Really? Do I appear that way?”

 

“Not to me, at all.”

 

I shook my head from side to side as I replied.

 

“On the contrary, Han-gyeol seems to smile quite a lot.”

 

“It’s only for Eun-ha. Only to Eun-ha. Now that you mention it, didn’t you ask me the same thing before?”

 

“Huh? Me? When?”

 

“At the cinema. You asked, ‘Do you smile like that to everyone?’”

 

‘Ah- that time.’

 

“You remembered that?”

 

“Of course. It was our first time going to the cinema.”

 

Only then did the memory vividly resurface in my mind.

 

“What did I answer back then?”

 

“You said you don’t smile like that to everyone.”

 

“Oh right, right. Actually, I wanted to say that I only smile like that to Eun-ha, but I couldn’t say it at that moment~”

 

“It’s already been a month since then. Time really flies.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

Han-gyeol also seemed to be in a good mood recalling that time.

 

“So? Does Han-gyeol smile like that to everyone?”

 

“No? I only smile like this to Eun-ha.”

 

“Mmhm. Keep doing that.”

 

“I find teasing Eun-ha the most fun!”

 

Han-gyeol spoke playfully again. But now, even this playful side of Han-gyeol was endearing.

 

“Go on. Tease me whenever you want to.”

 

“Huh? That response is a bit different from what I expected.”

 

Han-gyeol often threw fluttering words and playful teases like this. I knew now that it was shyness, a bashful way to spit out such words.

 

As time went on, discovering new sides of Han-gyeol became an enjoyment.

 

Han-gyeol, surprisingly, was quite shy. Perhaps even shier than me. Knowing that now, I decided to act a bit more leisurely.

 

“Why? Because you can tease me as much as you want?”

 

“Now that you’re asking to be teased, I’m not sure how to tease you. Let me think for a moment.”

 

“What’s that about? Then I should think too. I can’t always be the one getting teased.”

 

Both Han-gyeol and I pondered about how we should tease each other. But when nothing came to mind, I gripped the hand we were holding a bit tighter.

 

Squeezing with force, Han-gyeol reciprocated by swinging our clasped hands back and forth vigorously. I tried to resist somehow but could not withstand Han-gyeol’s strength.

 

My heart continued to fill with these tiny playful acts.

 

Today, tomorrow, and the day after, if days like these continue, I think I won’t struggle until the day I die.

 

Small yet certain happiness, Han-gyeol existed in all of those moments.

 

‘I’m happy.’

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

 

[TL: Bingsu: This is a Korean shaved ice delicacy that involves the careful shaving or grating of a solid block of cream or milk to produce a dessert with a light, snowy texture.

 

Injeolmi toast: Injeolmi toast is a popular Korean street food that combines the traditional flavors of injeolmi (Korean rice cake) with the convenient, Western-influenced concept of toast.

 

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