Chapter 22: Pork Cutlet

 

Han-gyeol. It’s not that I was avoiding you...

 

I was just feeling a bit under the weather, and I looked unwell.

 

I wasn’t avoiding you at all; I really was just not feeling well–

 

“Ha– Even though I wrote it, it doesn’t sound believable.”

 

Tap, tap–

 

I deleted all the messages I intended to send to Han-gyeol.

 

Yes, that was right. I hadn’t seen Han-gyeol face-to-face for the past few days.

 

And the reason for that was the emotions I was currently feeling.

 

It was definitely love, wasn’t it?

 

I hadn’t even been able to eat the chocolate Han-gyeol gave me on White Day.

 

And whenever I saw the doll Han-gyeol gifted me, my heart started to race.

 

How could I possibly look Han-gyeol directly in the eyes, feeling like this?

 

“This is serious...”

 

After finishing my night studies, today I went straight home, washed up, and went to bed.

 

I wondered what Han-gyeol was doing right now.

 

He must be feeling hurt, right? But he didn’t seem angry.

 

Rather, Han-gyeol honestly shared his feelings with me.

 

As I laid there, the image of Han-gyeol’s face—speaking his feelings so honestly and courteously—flashed before my eyes.

 

I felt really guilty, especially considering I should be reflecting on my actions. Yet my heart raced at the thought of Han-gyeol.

 

But no matter how much I thought about it, my cheeks turned red once again at the sight of Han-gyeol’s mature demeanor.

 

“So cool…”

 

I knew...

 

Ever since I was a child, people told me that I couldn’t express my thoughts openly.

 

I had been scolded to speak honestly.

 

I knew all of that. But it hadn’t been easy to change.

 

I always worried about what would happen if my honest words twisted my relationships.

 

Just like there were well-intentioned lies, there could be cruel honesty, too.

 

That was right.

 

I was a coward who did nothing because I was scared of what others would think.

 

As much as I hate to admit it, and even though I disliked this part of me, this was who I was—Shin Eun-ha.

 

But for the first time,

 

Someone calmly shared their thoughts and emotions with me.

 

On top of that, someone who didn’t rush me for an answer and even gave me time to think.

 

This was all new to me.

 

For the first time, I was not scared of conflict with someone.

 

That was because Han-gyeol’s words were filled with such consideration.

 

It was a peaceful, quiet, and exceedingly comfortable friction between us.

 

“Ugh–! But I still can’t say it...!”

 

How could I say that I had been avoiding him because I think ‘I like you’?

 

How could I possibly tell him that my cheeks flushed like a radish and my heart raced when I saw his face?

 

And I couldn’t even dare to ask, ‘Does Han-gyeol like me too?’

 

Am I delusional?

 

But Han-gyeol gave me handmade chocolate, didn’t he?

 

Could it be that Han-gyeol also has feelings for me?

 

Or am I making a big deal just because I received one piece of handmade chocolate?

 

I mean, I did attribute significant meaning to that handmade chocolate.

 

Just... Well, it was entirely possible to give chocolate to a close female friend!

 

Yes! We live in a fairly open-minded era, after all.

 

“Ahhh–! No, I don’t know! I just don’t know!”

 

Lying in bed, I kicked my legs in the air.

 

I rolled back and forth, but my thoughts remained jumbled.

 

I didn’t want to be distanced from Han-gyeol like this.

 

I messed up; it was my turn to approach him.

 

Because Han-gyeol was open about his feelings.

 

Even though he could have been mad, he honestly shared his thoughts with me.

 

Because he mustered the courage for me, who was so poor at expressing feelings...

 

Yes. I’ve decided to be honest about my own feelings as well.

 

I mustered up the courage to pick up my phone.

 

And then set it back down.

 

“Ahhhh–! It’s impossible! What should I say? That I’m sorry?”

 

Muttering to myself in bed, I still couldn’t say why I’d been avoiding Han-gyeol.

 

And today of all days was a Friday, meaning I won’t see Han-gyeol until next Monday.

 

Ha– It’s clear that a painful weekend lies ahead.

 

In the end, I decided to consult the internet while holding my smartphone.

 

I mean, we live in the Information age, right?

 

Surely, I would find a decent solution as I rummaged through the web.

 

But all I found were words better suited for romantic relationships.

 

And... some methods seemed inappropriate for a minor like me.

 

“Ha– I miss him...”

 

It was not surprising anymore.

 

I was not terribly confused by these feelings.

 

I just missed Han-gyeol and wanted to get along well with him again.

 

***

 

Since it was the weekend, I had a tutoring session with my sister, Hyun-joo, in the morning.

 

With the march mock exams next thursday, we reviewed everything once more.

 

Although thoughts of Han-gyeol occasionally crossed my mind, I forced myself to concentrate on the lesson.

 

However, once the tutoring was over and we were eating, Han-gyeol was all I could think about.

 

“Hey Eunwoo, what’s up with Eun-ha?”

 

“I don’t know, she’s been noisy in her room since yesterday.”

 

“Eun-ha, what’s going on? Why are you acting like this?”

 

Even amidst my sister and brother’s questions, I just stared blankly at the sky.

 

As I looked at the blue sky consistently, I thought of Han-gyeol.

 

What on earth am I thinking?

 

“Haha…hahahahahahahaha… This is big trouble.”

 

“Eunwoo, why is she like this?”

 

“I don’t know, she just suddenly became like this.”

 

Han-gyeol had become too entangled in my daily life.

 

“Oh, right. I had something to ask Han-gyeol. Is it okay to contact him on the weekend?”

 

“Why wouldn’t it be? I even asked him yesterday if he wanted to have tutoring session.”

 

“But yesterday was Friday. It’s the weekend today, so I don’t want to unnecessarily bother him.”

 

“Wow, Shin Eunwoo, you’ve become quite considerate.”

 

“I should be good to Han-gyeol.”

 

...Huh? What does that mean?

 

I turned my head towards my sister and brother.

 

“What are you talking about? You both have Han-gyeol’s number? How did you get it?”

 

“Huh? We exchanged numbers when Han-gyeol came to our house. Mom probably has it too, you know.”

 

“What?! Even you, sis?”

 

“Yep. Why, is that a problem?”

 

“No way! Show me!”

 

At my insistence, my sister and brother nonchalantly showed me Han-gyeol’s contact info on their phones.

 

“So you guys have been in touch with Han-gyeol from time to time?”

 

“Like I said, I asked him just yesterday if he wanted to have a tutoring session.”

 

“I contacted him the other day to ask him to play a game, and we played a game or two together. Since he is a senior in high school, I didn’t play much? And do not misunderstand.”

 

I couldn’t believe it.

 

Even my mom had Han-gyeol’s contact information...

 

“What the heck?! Why are you guys in touch with him and not telling me?”

 

“Well, you can contact him too, right? Did you guys have a fight or something?”

 

My brother spoke with a furrowed brow, hitting the nail on the head. And I was left speechless.

 

“What?! Are you serious?! How dare someone like you upset the great Lee Han-gyeol, the virtuous gentleman of our age?! I’ve never been so disappointed in you, my little sister. Grab your phone right now and confess your sins to Han-gyeol. He’ll forgive you with his immense grace; he’s a saint of this era, after all.”

 

“So, what should I send? Just that I’m sorry? Brother, you have to help me.”

 

“Fine. As someone who shares biological gender as him, I’ll tell you.”

 

My brother crossed his arms and spoke solemnly.

 

“Tell him you want to go eat pork cutlet.”

 

Trusting this man was my mistake.

 

“What are you talking about?! Han-gyeol isn’t some pork cutlet fanatic! You think one meal will solve everything?”

 

“What?! How dare you disrespect pork cutlet?! It’s the perfect food!”

 

“Do you think Han-gyeol is some eight-year-old kid?! Denied! Totally denied!”

 

“Ha– Even when I offer a surefire method, you don’t take it... You’re hopeless.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

I turned my gaze toward my sister Hyun-joo.

 

“Sis... Do you have any good ideas?”

 

“First, why did you guys even fight?”

 

“We didn’t... I mean, it’s more like I messed up one-sidedly.”

 

“Um... I do have an idea, but...”

 

Trustworthy Hyun-joo hesitated at the end of her sentence. I promptly grabbed her arm, but she avoided my gaze.

 

“Tell me! How can I make it up to Han-gyeol?”

 

“Ah, actually, now that I think about it, the idea is somewhat problematic.”

 

“It’s fine! It’s my mistake, so I’ll take responsibility!”

 

“It’s not about taking responsibility or anything like that.”

 

“Then at least tell me! I’ll be the judge!”

 

My sister finally spoke, her expression slightly troubled.

 

“Well, it might not be appropriate for a minor like you... I’m sorry.”

 

My face flushed instantly.

 

“Ah, Sis! What am I going to do if even you’re like this?”

 

“I’m sorry, Eun-ha! I momentarily forgot you’re still in high school!”

 

“Hey, Shin Eun-ha! Just ask him to go eat pork cutlet like I said!”

 

“You be quiet! Does that even make sense?!”

 

“Still, how about giving Eunwoo’s idea a chance?”

 

“Sis! Why are you siding with him?!”

 

“But we don’t have any other options, do we?”

 

“I guess so...”

 

Was pork cutlet seriously the best solution we could come up with? But then again, Han-gyeol was also male just like my brother.

 

I cautiously placed my phone on the dining table.

 

“What if he reads it and ignores it? What if he thinks I’m joking?”

 

“Hey, Shin Eun-ha. Just trust your brother. If something goes wrong, I’ll take responsibility!”

 

“Ah...you’re sure you’re going to take responsibility, right? Should I send it? I’m really sending it!”

 

“Ah, just stop being so hesitant and send it!”

 

Carefully, I typed out the message to send to Han-gyeol.

 

[Han-gyeol, want to grab some pork cutlet tomorrow?]

 

As I was contemplating whether to send it or not, my brother impatiently pressed the send button.

 

“Ahhhh! What do we do now that it’s sent?”

 

“I did it because you were being indecisive!”

 

“Ah! The 2 ticks appeared!”

 

“Already?!”

 

My brother, sister, and I all stared at the phone screen. A few seconds later, a reply from Han-gyeol arrived.

 

[Sure. What time shall we meet?]

 

I held my smartphone and stared hard at my brother.

 

“You’re not thinking this is over, are you? Make sure to apologize properly when you meet him~”

 

“What should I say when apologizing?”

 

“Just apologize sincerely, what’s there to worry about? You overthink things. Sometimes you just have to let it out.”

 

“Just let it out? Really? Will that be enough?”

 

“If it’s Han-gyeol, he’ll probably accept it.”

 

My brother looked more like a big brother today. Intrigued, I took a discreet glance at him.

 

“Ah, this is making me cringe. I’m off to play some games!”

 

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

 

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