Chapter 30: Lies

 

I admit, the jealousy I felt seemed a bit odd, even to me.

 

It was strange that I, who was not even Han-gyeol’s girlfriend, would feel jealous.

 

But whenever Han-gyeol talked to another girl, a part of my heart ached.

 

I wished that a part of his heart would ache too, whenever he saw me talking to another guy.

 

Wishing for the guy I like to feel heartache... it was an incredibly selfish thought.

 

Even though I couldn’t make the person I liked happy, there I was, harboring these terrible thoughts.

 

I knew it was a selfish feeling, but I couldn’t help but feel like it.

 

I wished he would only talk to me; I wished he would only study with me.

 

I wondered if Han-gyeol had a vague sense of how I felt.

 

Did he pick up on it when he saw me asking questions about problems I already knew the answer to?

 

I was nervous about whether he catch on, but I also wished he would.

 

If he was caught on and saw me as more than a friend, I hoped he came a little closer to me.

 

I hoped he approached me a bit more boldly, without any caution.

 

I hoped he came close enough that even someone as oblivious as me could be sure of it.

 

Of course, I was making an effort too.

 

Hoping to convey how I felt, I took various actions.

 

For example, during class, I occasionally look at Han-gyeol instead of the blackboard.

 

I could keep looking at Han-gyeol, diligently taking notes with his gaze fixed on the blackboard.

 

Occasionally, when he yawns, I thought he looked really cute.

 

They say when a girl finds a guy cute, it’s game over.

 

I didn’t know who said it, but it felt true.

 

I wanted to be Han-gyeol’s girlfriend.

 

I wanted to be in a relationship where I could boldly tell him not to talk to other girls.

 

But there was more than one thing troubling me.

 

The fact that we were both students preparing for exams.

 

The lack of assurance that I was the girl Han-gyeol liked.

 

The possibility that all my current speculations might be baseless.

 

Above all, there was the risk that we might end up worse off than strangers to each other.

 

So, I was slowly approaching Han-gyeol.

 

I was not sure if I was doing it right. I hoped it was not burdensome for him?

 

I was sorry to the teacher lecturing passionately at the front, but I couldn’t focus on the class.

 

My mind was already filled with Han-gyeol; there was no room for anything else.

 

Han-gyeol was undoubtedly a good person.

 

Not just from my subjective viewpoint, but objectively as well.

 

In other words, there might be other girls who shared my feelings for him.

 

There could be a girl who fell for him at first sight, watching him solve math problems effortlessly during class.

 

My heart was racing, and I was pondering how to calm it down.

 

In the end, I couldn’t concentrate, and the fifth period ended as such.

 

“Eun-ha, what are you thinking so deeply about?”

 

Harim, who noticed my lack of focus, asked me.

 

“Huh? Oh, it’s nothing.”

 

Harim looked around and whispered.

 

“Were you thinking about Han-gyeol again?”

 

I was embarrassed, but cautiously nodded my head.

 

“At this point, it’s not even surprising.”

 

Mm—since the topic came up, I decided to ask Harim something.

 

“Hey, Harim. I have something I want to ask you.”

 

“Huh? Is it about studying? Because that could be tricky. You might get mad at me.”

 

“No, it’s not about studying... um... wanna go to the canteen? We can talk while we’re there.”

 

“Sure, let’s go and come back quickly.”

 

I left the classroom with Harim and headed toward the canteen.

 

After passing by the crowded bathrooms, I cautiously asked her.

 

“Do you think Han-gyeol is good-looking?”

 

“Hmm...? Why are you suddenly asking that?”

 

“I just want to hear what you think about how Han-gyeol looks, objectively speaking.”

 

Harim seemed momentarily perplexed by my question.

 

Still, she candidly expressed her thoughts.

 

“To be honest, he’s pretty attractive, isn’t he?”

 

“Right? You think so too, Harim?”

 

“Yeah. He’s good at basketball, good at studying... It doesn’t seem like there’s much he can’t do, you know? It feels like he’s above average in everything?”

 

I nodded again.

 

I was well aware that Han-gyeol was a jack-of-all-trades.

 

He could assemble computers, make chocolate, and even handle household chores!

 

Han-gyeol was objectively a really great guy, through and through.

 

The thought that I might not be the only one smitten with him became even more pronounced.

 

“Plus, Han-gyeol is so kind, gentle, and considerate,” I said.

 

“That’s true. He seems like a deep thinker,” Harim responded.

 

“Exactly! That’s what makes him seem so mature.”

 

“Do you think he’s unusually mature for a high school student? Though, I’m not exactly sure where I get that impression.”

 

“Yeah, it’s probably just something ingrained in him,” I said, agreeing with Harim’s statement.

 

“So, why? Are you worried that some other girl might like Han-gyeol?”

 

Harim had hit the nail on the head.

 

But since I’d already mentioned it to her, I nodded.

 

“Hmm. I don’t think you have any reason to be anxious.”

 

“Well, I don’t know if it’s anxiety, or jealousy, or what... I’m not even sure what I’m feeling,”

 

“Regardless, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because, from what I can see, I think Han-gyeol likes you,” Harim added, lending credibility to her speculation.

 

“Wait, you think Han-gyeol seems to like me, from what you’ve seen?”

 

“I can’t say for certain, but that’s the vibe I’m getting.”

 

“Can you tell me specifically what gives you that impression?”

 

“Well, there are quite a few things. For starters, the way he looks at you?”

 

“The way he looks at me?”

 

I tilted my head in curiosity.

 

“The way Han-gyeol looks at you is different from how he looks at other people.”

 

“Really? Can you elaborate?”

 

“You probably haven’t noticed since Han-gyeol always smiles at you, but he’s not that expressive? He doesn’t smile much.”

 

“What? Han-gyeol smiles a lot! He’s always so cheerful.”

 

“Really? I’ve never seen him smile when he’s not with you. The only other time is maybe a brief smile while playing basketball?”

 

Harim’s observations added another layer of credence to her claim.

 

I wanted to hear more from Harim.

 

I looked at her intently, my eyes practically begging her to continue.

 

“More than anything, when he looks at you, it’s like he’s looking at something adorable?”

 

“What? No way, it can’t be that much, can it?”

 

“He looks at you like you’re a cute little animal or something.”

 

“A little animal?”

 

“Yeah. Anyway, since we’re at the canteen, let’s buy something.”

 

“I’ll get it!”

 

“Fine, then I’ll just have one drink.”

 

I hurriedly paid for the drinks with my card. We continued our conversation as we returned to the classroom, using the canteen as a sort of pit stop. Harim elaborated further on her thoughts.

 

“He gives only you orange-flavored candies. To me, it seems like Han-gyeol is trying to express his feelings for you in his own way.”

 

“What if you are just imagining things?”

 

“I think the chances of that are slim.”

 

“Mm-hm! Anyway, thanks for the help!”

 

“Well, I did get a free drink out of this. Let’s hurry; we’ll be late.”

 

The sixth period felt clearer in contrast to the fifth, which was laden with heavy thoughts.

 

Could it be true, what Harim said? That Han-gyeol likes me? If we both like each other, that would be more than fantastic.

 

However, despite my cheerful thoughts, the clear sky had suddenly darkened.

 

Ugh, just when I was feeling good. When something unexpected like this happens, it makes me uneasy.

 

The weather forecast had said it would be clear all day. But it didn’t matter since I had an umbrella in my bag anyway.

 

As the seventh period started, raindrops began to fall. I looked out the window momentarily at the sound of rain tapping against the glass. It didn’t seem like it would stop soon.

 

Did Han-gyeol bring an umbrella? I hoped he hadn’t, so we could share mine on the way home.

 

As the seventh period ended with the sound of rain, Harim looked out the window and asked me,

 

“It’s raining pretty hard. Do you have an umbrella?”

 

“Yeah, I have one in my bag.”

 

“Isn’t it heavy to carry around all the time?”

 

“I get used to it, so it’s fine.”

 

While talking to Harim, Han-gyeol walked over to my seat. Quickly, before our homeroom teacher returned, he asked me,

 

“Eun-ha, do you have an umbrella?”

 

I immediately countered his question.

 

“Hm? Do you have one, Han-gyeol?”

 

“Ah, I always have one in my bag. You don’t have one?”

 

I had just told Harim that I had an umbrella. But without a second’s hesitation, I lied.

 

“That’s right, I don’t have one.”

 

“Really? Then let’s share mine. I’ll walk you home.”

 

“Okay, thanks! Our teacher is coming; go back to your seat.”

 

“Alright.”

 

As soon as Han-gyeol hurried back to his seat, Harim looked at me with a mischievous smile.

 

“Then what was that you just told me earlier?”

 

I hurriedly brought my index finger to my lips and said,

 

“Shh—”

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

 

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