Chapter 42: Expressions of Love

 

When we got home, we sat down at a desk in the living room.

 

Leaning back side by side, we each were engrossed in our studies.

 

About an hour and a half must have passed like this.

 

My concentration was waning a bit, and my body felt slightly stiff.

 

Stretching out in a big yawn, I stealthily turned my head to the side.

 

The side profile of Han-gyeol, silently dedicated to his studies, came into view.

 

In a house occupied just by the two of us, being arm in arm with his girlfriend, he was impressively focused.

 

It was admirable and cool but on the other hand, slightly maddening.

 

Did he not have any thoughts in his head?

 

Was he too accustomed to coming to my house?

 

Truthfully, I wanted to be a little playful.

 

Like holding hands. Or resting my head on his shoulder.

 

Something like that.

 

Eventually, I subtly shifted, pressing my body closer to Han-gyeol.

 

When our bodies touched, Han-gyeol turned his head toward me.

 

What was he going to say?

 

“Is it narrow? Should I move over a bit?”

 

“Hm? No? It wasn’t really too narrow?”

 

“But you need to study comfortably. I’ll move to the other side.”

 

Han-gyeol gave a small, secretive smile and moved to the opposite side.

 

Taking one step closer felt like being ten steps further away.

 

Yes, there should be days when my true feelings go unnoticed.

 

Yet, I wondered, how far would it take for him to recognize my heart?

 

Slyly, I stretched out my leg and gave Han-gyeol’s foot a gentle nudge.

 

However, Han-gyeol promptly pulled his leg inward.

 

“Han-gyeol.”

 

“Hmm. Why did you call me?”

 

“I have a question I don’t understand.”

 

“Oh yeah? Which one?”

 

Han-gyeol stretched his head forward.

 

Ordinarily, I would have turned the reference book for Han-gyeol’s convenience, but I did not.

 

“Can you come over and help?”

 

“Sure. Which one is it?”

 

Setting down his pen, Han-gyeol came over to my side.

 

I pushed the reference book towards him, pointing out the most difficult question.

 

Han-gyeol carefully scanned the problem with his eyes and then pulled over his notebook.

 

“Ah- this question? This one’s tricky. Look here.”

 

“Hmm? You’ve worked on this question before?”

 

“Yeah. Eun-ha and I studied with the same reference book.”

 

This wasn’t it...

 

“Okay- this problem may sound a bit twisted, but it’s easy if we take it step by step. Don’t try to understand the problem all at once. If you think about the conditions while solving it, it’s easy, you know? Let’s first look at condition (a). The number of existing different real numbers k-”

 

I thought Han-gyeol being good at studying was incredibly cool.

 

However, him being too good at studying and things not going according to my intentions was slightly regrettable.

 

“Did you understand?”

 

“No, I don’t get it from the middle part.”

 

“That can happen. Let’s go through the problem more carefully. Which part confused you?”

 

I could just honestly say I wanted to have some physical contact, but I was terribly shy.

 

And though it was selfish, I also wished that Han-gyeol would initiate the physical contact first.

 

Even if it was not necessarily physical contact, I knew Han-gyeol liked me, but I wanted to feel more conspicuously loved.

 

Like the gentle stroking he had given me before...

 

“I understood condition (a), but I can’t understand condition (b).”

 

“Ah- I also thought the explanation for that part was lacking. Let’s look at it again.”

 

Han-gyeol explained it to me once more.

 

I couldn’t make Han-gyeol’s consideration a wasted effort, so I listened intently.

 

Thanks to Han-gyeol, who made everything sink into my ears easily, I quickly understood.

 

“So- Eun-ha, what’s the answer?”

 

“41″

 

I blurted out the answer nonchalantly.

 

Just when I thought I should just be honest, Han-gyeol’s sizable hand touched my head.

 

“Well done.”

 

I jolted slightly when Han-gyeol began to tenderly stroke my hair.

 

I shrugged my shoulders and continued to accept Han-gyeol’s gentle caress.

 

A soft smile curled up at the corners of my mouth, radiating happiness.

 

“Alright- let’s work hard on the rest of the study.”

 

The moment Han-gyeol stopped stroking and withdrew his hand,

 

Unconsciously, I seized his wrist.

 

I was the most surprised at my own action.

 

“Whoa.”

 

“Miss it?”

 

“Uh-?! No! It’s just something I did without realizing.”

 

“So, unconsciously, Eun-ha wants more strokes, huh?”

 

“Ah-! Well... uh, if it’s okay with Han-gyeol, just a little more...”

 

Really, just a tiny bit more; I won’t ask for much, just wished for a little more caressing.

 

Gently, I placed Han-gyeol’s hand back onto my head.

 

Then, Han-gyeol began to stroke again.

 

It felt like being loved and it was comforting.

 

But I decided to refrain from behaving like that again.

 

Because I felt really really embarrassed.

 

“Shall we take a short break from studying?”

 

“Yeah. It doesn’t have to be long, just for a bit.”

 

“Are you satisfied with the head-patting now?”

 

“Hmm- just one more minute.”

 

“Okay.”

 

It was an all-too-short one minute.

 

“I should have said five minutes.”

 

“...”

 

“It’s fine now.”

 

“Isn’t that too sharp of an ending?”

 

“I’ll miss it too. But your wrist might hurt, Han-gyeol, so I’ll be content here.”

 

“I’ll miss it too.”

 

“Then, should I stroke your head this time, Han-gyeol?”

 

Being stroked was nice, but doing the stroking was also nice.

 

“You’re going to stroke my head?”

 

“Yup yup. I’ll stroke your head.”

 

“Won’t your arm hurt because of the height difference, Eun-ha?”

 

“Uh... then do you want to use my lap as a pillow?”

 

I tapped my thigh lightly with my left hand.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Of course. Come on- hurry up.”

 

Although it was a bit embarrassing, I quickly pushed the desk away.

 

And gently brought Han-gyeol’s head onto my thigh.

 

As soon as Han-gyeol lay down with a soft tap on my thigh, I began to stroke his head.

 

“How is it? Comfortable?”

 

“Yeah. It’s super comfortable. Even makes me sleepy.”

 

“You can sleep. I’ll do it until you wake up.”

 

“That can’t happen. Who knows what Eun-ha might do.”

 

“Will I only do bad things?”

 

“Look at this. You’re only thinking about doing naughty things.”

 

I asked playfully in response to Han-gyeol’s words.

 

It was a ‘now you try being teased too’ kind of feeling.

 

It seemed Han-gyeol was also a bit shy about this physical affection.

 

“What’s the naughty thing~?”

 

“Whatever Eun-ha is thinking.”

 

“Uh...?!”

 

Whenever I tried to tease, Han-gyeol always managed to turn it back on me.

 

My face was burning when Han-gyeol poked my cheek with a pop-.

 

“Why are you making that face?”

 

“Ah, seriously-! I’m teased again!”

 

“What was that naughty thing Eun-ha was thinking?”

 

Han-gyeol said, holding back laughter.

 

“Forget it. I’m not telling.”

 

“If you look closely, it’s Eun-ha who’s more cheeky, they say.”

 

“What-?!”

 

I poked Han-gyeol’s cheek with my finger.

 

When I pressed down with a squeeze-, Han-gyeol’s cheek indented.

 

“Eun-ha, you’re going to poke a hole in my cheek.”

 

“Spending every day without fail just teasing your girlfriend...”

 

“Do you dislike being teased?”

 

“Huh? Not at all? I know it’s a form of affection from Han-gyeol.”

 

“You pinpointed that.”

 

“Isn’t it the truth?”

 

“It is.”

 

“See.”

 

Although mischievous, Han-gyeol, resting on my lap, was incredibly cute.

 

His cheeks were soft, the hair smooth... it was lovable.

 

I brushed Han-gyeol’s bangs aside, smiling.

 

“Han-gyeol.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Conversely, am I properly expressing my affection to you?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Me liking Han-gyeol. Can you feel it properly?”

 

Han-gyeol’s eyes gradually widened at my words.

 

Soon, his face flushed, and briskly, Han-gyeol sprung up and fled.

 

Han-gyeol, who had run all the way to the end of the living room, was incredibly flustered.

 

“Ah- where are you going? Come back quickly.”

 

“No. Absolutely not.”

 

“Ah, why- hurry up. Should I come to you?”

 

“Uh-uh-? Eun-ha, you’re quite dangerous right now. Don’t come near.”

 

“Even if your girlfriend asks you to come, you won’t, and even if I say I’ll come, you tell me not to approach. That’s too much.”

 

When I spoke with a pout, Han-gyeol became even more confused.

 

Even after I said so much, Han-gyeol became even more guarded.

 

“Answer me. Can you properly feel that I like you, Han-gyeol?”

 

“Yep. I feel it a lot.”

 

“Really? What makes you feel it?”

 

“Eun-ha keeps flirting with me.”

 

“Me, me?!”

 

Han-gyeol shut his eyes tight and spoke.

 

“That’s also the case today. While I’m studying, you suddenly get close, don’t you? When I escape to the opposite side, you touch my foot, don’t you? When you ask me to explain an unknown problem, you make me come to your side, don’t you? You catch my wrist, trying to not stop me from caressing you, don’t you? You offer to let me use your lap as a pillow, don’t you...! It’d be strange if I didn’t feel it.”

 

At Han-gyeol’s words, I too was taken aback.

 

“Wha, what-?! You knew all along?!”

 

“Surely, I don’t lack that much tact.”

 

“Then, knowing all that, why don’t you show affection...! Is it burdensome when I do this? Do you dislike it?”

 

“No! I really like it! Really, to the point my heart could burst...! But a house with just the two of us is too dangerous-!”

 

“So, I am properly expressing my affection?!”

 

“Yes. But expressing love through physical affection in a house with just the two of us is a bit dangerous, so I’m holding back.”

 

Upon hearing Han-gyeol’s words, I was overjoyed.

 

Seeing that Han-gyeol also wanted physical affection with me felt so good.

 

“I still want to be affectionate with Han-gyeol right now.”

 

“Eun-ha. Didn’t I say it’s not allowed when we’re alone in the house? Did you hear my story?”

 

“Then where should we do it? We can’t at school.”

 

“School might be better after all. In a different sense, the house is more dangerous.”

 

The human heart tends to want something even more when told not to do it.

 

Moreover, I wanted to tease Han-gyeol, who ran away while feeling embarrassed.

 

“Hehe...”

 

“Eun-ha. I didn’t say that to make you laugh. I said it meaning you should be alert.”

 

“Can’t we just hug for just 1 minute?”

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“Ah, whyyy- Just for 1 minute.”

 

“Do you want to keep making things difficult...?!”

 

“It won’t work. I’ll have to hug you then.”

 

I pushed myself up from the floor.

 

Han-gyeol also hurriedly rose from the spot.

 

“Come here, Han-gyeol.”

 

“It’s dangerous, Eun-ha.”

 

It seemed I had also found something to tease Han-gyeol with.

 

Perhaps in terms of physical touch, Han-gyeol might be even more shy than me.

 

“Just 1 minute. Just hug me for 1 minute.”

 

“In the current situation, even 10 seconds is difficult.”

 

“Ah, why-!”

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

 

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