Chapter 28: Crush?

When I opened the classroom door in the morning.

When the homeroom teacher finished speaking.

When the class started.

Or even when the class ended and it was break time...

I was always looking around for Han-gyeol.

“Eun-ha, stop staring.”

“Huh? What?”

In response to my question, Harim cautiously whispered in my ear.

“Stop staring at Han-gyeol…”

“What-?! No, I wasn’t! I didn’t look at him!”

“Do you think I would believe that given the current situation?”

“What’s the current situation?”

“It’s quite a difficult situation for you, right?”

At that, my eyes widened and I asked Harim.

“Is it that obvious…?”

“Yes. Very. Your eyes are practically heart-shaped.”

“Is it that bad?! Wait, not here, let’s talk somewhere else…”

“Huh…?”

I quickly led Harim to a corner of the hallway.

“Eun-ha, I don’t have any money.”

“I’m not trying to rob you… Just tell me, when did you find out?!”

“I had my suspicions, but today I’m certain.”

“Why?! Why on Earth?!”

I looked at Harim, clearly agitated.

Harim shrugged and then relentlessly cornered me.

“Anyone would notice if you keep staring like that, even if they’re dense.”

“Do you think Han-gyeol noticed?”

“My god! You’re not even thinking of denying it? At least try to lie.”

“Ah... I don’t think you’d believe me even if I lied.”

“You’re quick to read the situation, huh?”

“Yeah, I hear that a lot.”

As I spoke confidently, Harim stared at me intently.

“So, are you going to confess?”

“Wha-?! No! I’m not planning on doing that…yet.”

“Why? It seems like he’d accept your feelings.”

“Don’t gamble if you’re not certain. You know what I mean?”

“Where have I heard that before?”

“I’m just thinking of taking it slow for now.”

Last week, I steeled my resolve.

Of course, that was all I did—no further actions were taken.

Still, we continued texting over the weekend, so I considered that progress.

“Shall we go back in? Just act like you didn’t see anything.”

“Okay. But stop staring.”

“Hehe... alright.”

As soon as I returned to the classroom, I found myself looking for Han-gyeol again.

He was seated at his desk, going over a practice test from last week.

I thought about cautiously approaching him but held back, not wanting to disturb his studies.

Being a fellow student prepping for exams, I must exercise some restraint with my feelings. Perhaps this ‘exam-taker’ status serves as an obstacle to becoming Han-gyeol’s significant one.

What am I to Han-gyeol?

Could I be someone significant enough that there was no need to rush things?

In other words... were we in a ‘situationship’ right now?

Could I be the person Han-gyeol said he likes?

But he mentioned he liked them for a long time... it felt like there was some distance between us. Was he just saying things back then? His tone didn’t seem serious either.

“Eun-ha.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Look out the window.”

“Why?”

When I looked out, I saw flower buds yet to bloom.

Upon closer thought, cherry blossoms would be in full bloom next week.

A time when the world was drenched in shades of pink.

“How about you both go to a cherry blossom festival?”

“A cherry blossom festival? Isn’t that a bit much?”

“What’s excessive about it? Friends can go see cherry blossoms too.”

“Is that so? Then what should I say to invite him?”

“That’s something you’ll have to figure out.”

“Okay. I’ll give it my best shot.”

“Huh?”

Harim seemed puzzled by my answer.

“Why?”

“I thought you’d be indecisive about what to do.”

“Ah... well, that’s true, I kind of am.”

“Hmm- alright. They say love changes people—”

I quickly covered Harim’s mouth.

Carefully removing my hand, I whispered to Harim.

“I think... Because it’s Han-gyeol, it would be okay.”

Because Han-gyeol accepts my heart as it was.

He accepts my honest thoughts and honest feelings as they were.

That was why I could be honest with Han-gyeol.

I won’t be clumsy anymore.

I won’t think and judge alone anymore.

Slowly. But not too late.

I was planning to approach.

****

After all the classes were over, I went over to Han-gyeol’s seat first.

Studying together in a classroom with just the two of us was more enjoyable than I thought.

I felt like I studied well when I was with Han-gyeol.

It was nerve-wracking, but there was also a comfort I felt from Han-gyeol being next to me.

Although turning my head occasionally revealed Han-gyeol in deep concentration, giving me heart palpitations.

So I had to work harder.

If anyone said my grades dropped because of my affection, I’d be angry.

I had to work harder and give my best, to show that my love for Han-gyeol had made me a better person.

For my sake and for Han-gyeol’s, my grades needed to rise again.

“Ugh! This is tough.”

Han-gyeol paused his studies and stretched widely.

“What’s not working?”

“Huh? Oh— I’m having a hard time reading the Korean passage. It takes me a long time to work on non-literary texts. I’m already 50 seconds over.”

“Do you have, like, your own way of marking things, Han-gyeol?”

“Huh? Marking? You mean like underlining?”

“Mm— can you show me the passage you were working on?”

“Here.”

“Is it okay if I make some marks?”

“Go ahead.”

At a glance, it seemed that Han-gyeol only underlined when working through non-literary passages and didn’t make any other markings.

I read the non-literary passage that Han-gyeol had been working on from top to bottom.

I made various annotations here and there, as I had my own system and was pretty confident in Korean.

“So Han-gyeol, you only underline when you read non-literary passages?”

“I underline parts I think are important, yes.”

“Ah— This is something I learned from my sister Hyun-joo. Take a look.”

I kindly explained to Han-gyeol,

“I put squares around definitions of terms, then underline the explanation that follows. Keywords get circled. When words like ‘however’ appear, I mark a ‘V’. And you know how non-literary passages about ideas sometimes feature opposing views? I label those as A, B to easily compare their characteristics. Doing this cuts down time when you have to refer back to the passage.”

Upon hearing me, Han-gyeol looked at me with amazement.

“That makes sense. It’ll definitely be easier to review the passage later this way.”

“Yep. That’s how I do all my non-literary questions.”

“What do Q and A stand for here?”

“Oh, Q marks problems or questions brought up in the passage, and A marks solutions or answers.”

“Nice… This feels like the right way to study. Thanks.”

“You don’t have to follow my markings exactly. Just do whatever works for you.”

“Mm— No, I want to do it the way you showed me. It’s easier to see. Can I ask again later?”

“Huh? Sure, anytime!”

I felt good about it.

It seemed like I had genuinely helped Han-gyeol, and moreover, he would be using the same annotations as me.

I felt somewhat shy at the idea of melting into a small part of Han-gyeol’s life.

“Studying with Eun-ha really seems to make a difference.”

“Really? I also feel like I study well when I’m with Han-gyeol.”

“Then we should study together often.”

“Yeah. I like that idea. How about we do it every Saturday?”

“Huh?”

Ah— did I come on too strong?

I thought it would be fine.

Was suggesting we meet on weekends too much?

“Ah— never mind. Weekends are probably—”

“No, I’d really like that. I enjoy studying with Eun-ha. But I’m not bothering you, am I?”

“Not at all! Studying with Han-gyeol is good for me too, and you teach me a lot!”

“Alright? Then we’ll start studying together this week.”

I felt like I had said the right thing.

Truth be told, the goal was the cherry blossom festival next Saturday.

We could at least see the cherry blossoms on our way home from studying, right?

I started to feel a bit excited.

“Eun-ha.”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“I know it’s weird to say this right after we decided to study together, but—”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Would you like to go see the cherry blossoms next week?”

I was so taken aback that I flinched.

Was he thinking the same thing I was?

Could this be another of Han-gyeol’s cunning schemes?

Did I give myself away?

“Cherry blossoms?!”

“Yeah, cherry blossoms.”

“Um... When?!”

“Next Saturday, for a bit?”

This is…

He must have been thinking the same thing.

There was no reason to decline, after all.

Yes, I would love to.

“Sure, I’d like to.”

“Great. I won’t take up too much of your time. So let’s study hard until then?”

“Yeah! I’ll study from here... to here!”

I grabbed a hefty portion of the reference book’s pages.

For the sake of the cherry blossoms, I had to handle this much studying.

Besides, it felt like studying this way would be more effective.

It was always better to study when there was a clear reward.

“Is it not too much, right?”

“Not at all. I wanted to go see the cherry blossoms too. But we can’t neglect our studies, so I’ll study up to here.”

“Haha—! Okay, then I’ll also do from here to here.”

“Isn’t that too little?”

“Huh? Isn’t this much already a lot, Teacher?”

Being called ‘Teacher’ amused me a bit.

I added a few more pages to the portion that Han-gyeol had selected.

“Then, Student Lee Han-gyeol, you should do from here to here~”

“That’s too much. Cut it down.”

“Hehe, no. Can’t do.”

--- The End OF The Chapter ---

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