Chapter 102: The Direction Where The Heart Rests (1)

 

Ner had spent the whole day observing Berg.

 

It was a subtle feeling, as if he wasn’t quite looking at her. He seemed to be letting out subtly short sighs more often. His expression appeared subtly hardened.

 

“...”

 

She might not have noticed this change in anyone else.

 

But this was Berg.

 

The person she had been constantly with for the past few months.

 

Her husband, her partner.

 

She had become sensitively responsive to even the smallest changes.

 

“Arwin. I’ve left a dry cloth outside. Go wash up and dry yourself off.”

 

“Yes. Thank you, Berg.”

 

Ner watched as Berg took care of Arwin, who was going to wash herself.

 

To Arwin at least, Berg didn’t seem to show those subtle differences.

 

No, rather, it felt like they had become even closer.

 

Hadn’t they just been holding hands until a moment ago?

 

Ner couldn’t hide her feelings.

 

Her face kept frowning.

 

Why had this change occurred?

 

...Could it be that something progressed in their relationship last night?

 

“...Ugh.”

 

At that thought, Ner’s heart clenched.

 

At her small groan, Berg turned his head.

 

“...”

 

Ner involuntarily averted her eyes.

 

Her frown remained.

 

If she stayed like this, he would come to comfort her, as he always did.

 

“...”

 

But Berg turned his head away.

 

“...Huh?”

 

And then, as if struck by a thought, he headed towards the room.

 

Ner’s outstretched hand grasped at thin air.

 

Left alone in the living room, Ner was engulfed in an indescribable emptiness.

 

****

 

I sighed and sat down on the bed.

 

I didn’t even understand why I was behaving like this.

 

I tried to act as if everything was normal, but it was not as easy as saying it.

 

It was as if I’d forgotten how to approach Ner.

 

Maybe it was because I empathized with her.

 

Until a few months ago, I was in her position.

 

...Of course, Ner wasn’t in love with anyone else.

 

I was harboring feelings for another, not allowing any opposite sex to approach me.

 

Sometimes, I despised those unwanted approaches.

 

Now, trying to do the same with Ner, it was not as straightforward as it used to be.

 

...Should I ask her about this?

 

Even I had been hiding the story of Sien.

 

“...”

 

The truth was, doing this changes nothing.

 

As I told Arwin, we were a married couple.

 

That won’t change.

 

...Yet, deep down, I was troubled by the thought that given the chance, she might want to leave me.

 

“...”

 

I felt the loneliness I had forgotten creeping back in.

 

After Sien left me, and I somehow managed to recover from that pain.

 

I thought I’d never feel this emotion again.

 

Looking at this, it seemed I had also given Ner a lot of emotions.

 

-Thump.

 

I lay down on the bed.

 

Ner’s dissatisfied... and worried expression lingered in my mind.

 

I closed my eyes.

 

“...So childish.”

 

I whispered to myself.

 

Sighing, I covered my face.

 

****

 

Time passed in such a way.

 

Ner couldn’t understand.

 

She was the one who should be receiving comfort and apologies... yet she was also the one feeling anxious.

 

Berg didn’t say a word.

 

They hadn’t fought, but they hadn’t reconciled either.

 

They maintained a strange distance, as if on an odd borderline.

 

She couldn’t fathom why her heart felt so constrained.

 

Berg hadn’t been angry with her.

 

Nor had he pushed her away, as he might have done with other women.

 

He had merely hidden his kindness for a while.

 

But even that was too much for Ner.

 

Yet, she lacked the courage.

 

She didn’t have the strength to ask him why he was acting this way.

 

She feared they might really fight.

 

She feared being hated.

 

There was also a part of her that wanted to reconcile as if nothing had happened.

 

After a long time, returning to Stockpin.

 

Ner was out on a night walk again today.

 

It wasn’t because she missed this small forest.

 

It was because there was someone who would come looking for her here.

 

Despite the strange changes, she knew he wouldn’t fail to come.

 

He would come to find her again.

 

Ner let herself be and waited for Berg.

 

“...”

 

But with each moment of waiting, her heart prickled painfully.

 

It was hard and suffocating.

 

This trivial matter might make her shed tears for no reason.

 

Not understanding made it even more frightening.

 

Why did such a difference arise all of a sudden?

 

What exactly happened with Arwin?

 

When would Berg appear?

 

- Crunch...

 

Just then, the awaited footsteps sounded.

 

Ner’s body jolted as she turned around.

 

“...”

 

As expected, there was Berg, standing there.

 

Ner quickly turned her body back, facing forward, hiding her worried and distorted expression.

 

Her body, frozen with fear, couldn’t make any choice.

 

She waited for Berg to make a move.

 

Slowly walking, Berg eventually sat down beside her.

 

His always gentle and comforting presence returned.

 

“...”

 

Ner felt a strange sense of relief and her emotions welled up.

 

Why did he act that way all day if he could be like this?

 

She wanted to confront him, but equally, she didn’t want to stir up trouble.

 

Berg spoke.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“...”

 

“...I said I’d be back soon, you must have been worried.”

 

The relief that followed brought back the sulking emotions she had been hiding.

 

She felt like she had become young again, getting upset over trivial things, and sulking over nothing significant.

 

“I wasn’t worried.”

 

She lied.

 

Berg chuckled softly and moved closer.

 

Their thighs touched.

 

He leaned in to study her expression.

 

“...I’m sorry, Ner.”

 

Berg apologized again.

 

“...”

 

-Whoosh.

 

Ner turned her head to the other side.

 

But deep down, how relieved she was, Berg would never know.

 

“...Aren’t you going to forgive me?”

 

“...”

 

A short sigh followed.

 

Ner was startled again by Berg’s sigh.

 

Did she miss her chance to accept his apology?

 

At the same time, Berg stood up.

 

Ner, realizing she had missed that fleeting moment of reconciliation, hurriedly opened her mouth.

 

“Ah, no, Berg-”

 

- Whoosh!

 

In that moment, Ner felt her body being swiftly lifted into the air.

 

“Ah!”

 

Berg, who had turned around in a flash, was holding her by the hips, lifting her up.

 

Ner, pressing on Berg’s shoulders in surprise, looked down at him, who was smiling.

 

“Ah! What are you-”

 

“-What should I do to make my wife forgive me?”

 

Berg asked, his tone exaggerated and joking, as if trying to lighten the mood, and it sounded almost like an apology for his earlier behavior.

 

“...Ah.”

 

Ner swallowed the words she was about to say.

 

‘My wife.’

 

His words melted her anger so easily.

 

Convincing herself that minor fights could happen, yet such squabbles wouldn’t impact their relationship in the slightest.

 

That was right.

 

It was so obvious she had forgotten it... she was already Berg’s wife.

 

Could there be anyone closer to Berg than her?

 

This realization tore down the walls in her heart.

 

‘My Wife.’

 

‘My Wife.’

 

Ner chewed on the word without realizing it.

 

Could there be a word more heartwarming than this?

 

It meant Berg was on her side for life.

 

“Come on, tell me, Ner. How can I make you not mad?”

 

“...”

 

“I won’t put you down until you tell me.”

 

“...”

 

Ner, who had been silent, finally broke into a small smile at his words.

 

Maybe it was because she had tasted the bottom of her mood once.

 

Even this small happiness felt sweeter now.

 

Berg asked.

 

“You like pie, right? Should I make you one? Or, shall we go for a long walk tomorrow?”

 

Seeing her smile, Berg smiled even wider.

 

“Tell me, Ner.”

 

Ner blinked and looked down at Berg.

 

She sighed deeply.

 

‘...Hug me until I feel like I’m going to burst.’

 

She almost whispered it along with her sigh without realizing it.

 

But at the last moment, she pressed those words back behind her lips.

 

Of course, she couldn’t say such embarrassing words.

 

...She needed more time.

 

Certainly, there would be plenty of time for that in the future.

 

And the more she thought about it, the clearer it became.

 

She couldn’t deceive herself about her feelings for him any longer... they were becoming more and more certain.

 

“...If you drink with me tonight, I’ll stop being mad.”

 

So instead, she said that.

 

It was also her way of extending an olive branch.

 

She wanted to share something Berg loved the most.

 

...And, surely, she had another plan in mind.

 

“Drink?”

 

Ner nodded.

 

“Yeah. Drink.”

 

“...Are you sure?”

 

Ner forced herself to swallow her words again.

 

‘I think it would be nice to drink with you.’

 

Instead, she smiled.

 

“...You don’t like it?”

 

She asked playfully.

 

Berg smiled at her teasing.

 

“Of course not.”

 

And then he nodded.

 

“Okay, let’s go drink.”

 

.

.

.

.

 

“...”

 

Arwin found herself gazing at Berg and Ner, who were elegantly sharing drinks.

 

Why wouldn’t she feel happy seeing Berg pleased?

 

The reason was quickly apparent.

 

She thought him foolish.

 

She had clearly advised him to keep his distance from Ner.

 

Even keeping the story of Ner’s betrayal a secret, she had said so.

 

In order to not hurt him, it seemed possible to distance himself from Ner.

 

‘...foolish.’

 

Arwin thought again.

 

...But she couldn’t bring herself to hate that foolish human.

 

On the contrary, she might be more drawn to such a display.

 

His sense of responsibility in treasuring his wife was unavoidably impressive.

 

How could he be like that?

 

Such behavior was utterly alien to her as an elf.

 

“What are you talking about that’s so amusing?”

 

Arwin finally intruded on their drinking session.

 

“...Ah.”

 

Ner, who had been giggling, stiffened her expression at Arwin’s question.

 

“Have you been drinking, Ner?”

 

Arwin asked further.

 

Ner nodded in response.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you want a drink too?”

 

Berg asked Arwin.

 

Arwin looked down at the alcohol they were drinking.

 

...Bardi liquor.

 

She realized that Berg had really come to like that liquor.

 

“...You really like Bardi liquor, don’t you?”

 

Arwin repeated the question.

 

Maybe the uneasiness nestled in her heart compelled her to keep asking.

 

Under the influence of alcohol, Berg, who had been chuckling, spoke up.

 

She expected a familiar response like ‘I’ve grown to like it.’

 

“It’s the first drink you gave me.”

 

“...............”

 

But Berg’s subsequent words slightly startled Arwin’s heart.

 

Arwin concealed her agitation.

 

...After all, alcohol was just food.

 

There was nothing wrong with food.

 

“...”

 

Ner, who had been alternating her gaze between them, noticed Berg’s empty glass and picked up the bottle of liquor.

 

She filled his glass like a demure wife, flashing an unknowable smile at Berg as a bonus.

 

“Have another drink, Berg.”

 

Arwin quietly observed Ner’s actions.

 

Berg, who was about to lift his glass, suddenly stopped.

 

“...Oh right.”

 

“...?”

 

“...We’re almost out of Bardi liquor.”

 

Berg clicked his tongue with a bittersweet tone, as if disappointed.

 

Arwin interjected at the moment.

 

“How about trying to give up drinking for this opportunity?”

 

Berg chuckled as if to say that was nonsense.

 

“How can a mercenary give up drinking?”

 

“...There’s no such thing.”

 

Berg looked at Arwin with half-closed eyes.

 

Arwin couldn’t hold her gaze for long.

 

At the same time, Berg asked.

 

“Can you get me more Bardi liquor?”

 

“...”

 

Arwin briefly raised her eyes to look at Berg.

 

She wanted to refuse... but that also seemed awkward.

 

Bardi liquor was nothing special.

 

So, she thought again.

 

‘...There’s nothing wrong with food.’

 

Arwin answered.

 

“...I’ll think about it.”

 

****

 

Ner supported Berg as they entered the room.

 

It wasn’t easy for her to keep her balance either, but... she managed to bring him to the room.

 

Arwin also helped them.

 

“Didn’t you give him too much to drink?”

 

Arwin asked Ner, sounding displeased.

 

Ner had been refilling Berg’s glass each time it emptied, staying by his side.

 

But Ner just shrugged her shoulders.

 

“...Berg wanted to, hic. Drink more...”

 

“...”

 

Both of them looked down at the now sleeping Berg.

 

Neither of them spoke for a long time.

 

They just silently watched over him as he dozed off unknowingly.

 

“...You should go back now, hic.”

 

Ner said to Arwin.

 

“We need to sleep...”

 

Saying this, Ner began to undress Berg’s shirt.

 

Arwin frowned once again.

 

“Why are you undressing him, just leave him-”

 

“-Berg likes sleeping like this.”

 

Arwin had no reply to that.

 

She remained silent for a moment and then spoke.

 

“...Since Berg has passed out anyway, let’s go back to our own rooms to sleep. There’s no need to stay together tonight.”

 

“...”

 

Ner paused in undressing Berg and looked at Arwin.

 

She then answered with a smile.

 

“...Thanks for worrying. But it’s okay.”

 

- Whoosh!

 

Ner then threw Berg’s shirt far away.

 

Her yellow eyes glinted in the darkness.

 

The look in her eyes as she gazed down at Berg seemed to have changed.

 

Was it the influence of the alcohol?

 

-...Swoosh.

 

“…?”

 

Ner’s hand lightly grazed Berg’s chest.

 

Arwin watched her.

 

In that fleeting moment, it was unclear whether the gesture was intentional or accidental.

 

“...Ah.”

 

Ner sighed.

 

Then she looked at Arwin.

 

As if she had momentarily forgotten that she was there.

 

“...You can go and rest.”

 

Ner then escorted Arwin out of the room, gently pushing her.

 

“...”

 

Arwin, unable to say anything, was pushed out by Ner’s hand.

 

“Have a good night.”

 

-Thud.

 

As Arwin was pushed outside the door, Ner firmly closed it.

 

Arwin couldn’t understand why her fist was clenched.

 

****

 

“Haah... hic.”

 

Ner indulged in Berg’s scent, a fragrance she hadn’t savored in a while.

 

His smell mixed with the alcohol.

 

Nothing was holding her back now.

 

She understood the reason for her strange feelings.

 

Knowing the reason, she no longer felt any guilt.

 

Yet, Ner was careful not to cross the line excessively.

 

She tried not to forget that her self-control wasn’t as strong due to the alcohol.

 

Ner felt anger at Arwin’s scent on Berg’s body.

 

What exactly had they done last night?

 

It was clear that their bodies had been in close contact.

 

Was today’s change in Berg perhaps for that reason?

 

And as such anger took over her mind, Ner more fiercely marked Berg with her own scent.

 

It might have been a compensation.

 

Perhaps she was compensating for the anxiety she had felt since last night.

 

“...Berg.”

 

Ner whispered, rubbing her body against Berg.

 

“Thank you,” she said.

 

But it wasn’t enough.

 

Those words couldn’t express her emotions.

 

“.........”

 

Ner slowly stopped rubbing against Berg and pressed her body close to his.

 

Gently caressing his bare chest with her hand, she lay down, resting her head on his arm.

 

She slightly lifted her own clothes, pressing her bare navel against Berg’s side.

 

Berg’s ear was right in front of her.

 

“.................I like you.”

 

Ner experimented with another phrase.

 

The feeling of guilt that he might be listening engulfed her.

 

It was a chilling sensation.

 

Could these words express her feelings?

 

...But even saying ‘I like you’ felt insufficient.

 

Berg had always been on her side.

 

He would continue to be by her side in the future.

 

Berg, who would fight anyone for her, who wouldn’t hesitate to do anything reckless to protect her.

 

His smile melted her heart, and his touch gave her goosebumps.

 

Could these feelings be expressed with just ‘I like you’?

 

No, they couldn’t.

 

So, she said it.

 

“...”

 

The words, not easily uttered at first.

 

Words she hadn’t said to anyone other than her grandmother.

 

But the intoxication pushed her.

 

She impulsively tried to say it once.

 

She whispered it clearly into his ear.

 

“...........I love you.”

 

Ner smiled.

 

After saying it, it became clear.

 

Acknowledging it made it seem so obvious.

 

This was the phrase.

 

Chills ran through her entire body.

 

These words best expressed her emotions.

 

“.....I love you.”

 

She whispered again.

 

Was it because she had lost her self-control?

 

She couldn’t contain her overflowing feelings.

 

“...I love you, Berg.”

 

She said it once more.

 

There was a pleasure in uttering those words themselves.

 

These were the words like magic.

 

The words she spoke for the first time as an adult.

 

Only now did she understand this emotion.

 

It was different from the love felt for the family.

 

It felt like she might even cry.

 

“I love you.”

 

She whispered.

 

She couldn’t know how many more times she might say it in the future.

 

“I love you.”

 

Just like a child, she repeated it.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

 

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