Chapter 15: Lone Wolf (3)

 

In the late hours of the night, only the gentle hum of cicadas filled the air. 

 

Ner was silently gazing at the moon through the window.

 

The moon had always been a way for Ner to connect with the man mentioned in her grandmother's prophecy, but it was also a source of solace for her. 

 

Since she had developed a habit of reflecting on her day while gazing at the moon, it felt second nature to Ner.

 

Moreover, even without speaking, by gazing at the serene and shining moon, she could be captivated by its beauty and let go of all trivial thoughts.

 

It was still the same now.

 

For a brief respite, she could forget about the impending marriage that would separate her from her destined partner, finding solace in the stillness of the night. 

 

Perhaps she had shed enough tears in the past few days, so now they no longer came out.

 

With a vacant mind, she slowly blinked her eyes and focused only on the moon.

 

- Knock, knock.

 

At that moment, a quiet knocking sound awakened her from her reverie.

 

Unlike the casual knock from her brother during the day, this time the door didn't open right away.

 

There had been very few such cautious approaches.

 

With that alone, Ner could immediately tell who her partner was.

 

“…Come in.”

 

Ner said without taking her gaze away from the moon.

 

Soon, the door opened.

 

A calm and firm footstep entered the room.

 

“…What is it?”

 

Ner didn't turn around and asked without looking back,

 

"...Have you calmed down?"

 

Ner's father, Gibson, asked.

 

“…”

 

Ner did not answer.

 

A moment of silence passed.

 

Gibson walked slowly and took a seat beside Ner on the bed.

 

For Ner, her father's behavior was quite unfamiliar.

 

Their relationship was not like this.

 

“…”

 

Ner could not say that she had calmed down even with empty words.

 

If she took her eyes off the moon, she might start shedding tears again.

 

She had been waiting her whole life to find her fated partner, but now even that dream had crumbled.

 

"Ner, look at this."

 

Ner blinked and turned her head while taking a deep breath.

 

She could see her father’s stern expression that could only be described as cold.

 

Her father had always looked at her with that kind of expression.

 

It wasn't obvious, but it was a different gaze compared to when he looked at Ner's older sisters or brothers.

 

There was always a trace of resentment towards Ner, the one who took away the life of his companion, Syllin Blackwood.

 

Ner could read that subtle difference.

 

Because she had gotten used to it by now.

 

But even so, there were moments when she couldn't help but feel envious as she gazed into those eyes.

 

Ner had also wished to experience such love someday.

 

If someone could harbor such resentment towards their own child born from their blood, how deeply must they have loved their companion?

 

Ner, who had never experienced that emotion even once, had always been curious.

 

Although she had longed for her fated partner while gazing at the moon, she had never experienced love from someone she hadn't naturally met.

 

"In two days, the wedding ceremony will take place."

 

Gibson spoke slowly.

 

“…”

 

"...From now on, you need to prepare. Tomorrow, you will have a meal with the other party. You can't keep crying like today."

 

As she realized that the inevitable reality was gradually approaching, Ner’s heart fluttered again.

 

As a result, words that seemed impossible to say naturally flowed out.

 

“…Why me?”

 

“…”

 

"Father, why me?"

 

There were unmarried older sisters as well, so why did it have to be her?

 

Actually, it wasn’t that Ner didn’t know the reason.

 

But she wanted to hear what came out of his mouth.

 

She wanted him to spit out at least some excuse.

 

"...It's a sacrifice for the territory, Ner."

 

Gibson Blackwood turned around and said.

 

Ner was not surprised by that fact. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt her.

 

Her strength and energy instantly drained away.

 

She wanted to give up everything.

 

Suddenly, Ner wondered why she had to be so unhappy.

 

It felt like she had been burdened with countless curses since birth.

 

She hadn't received her mother's love, her father's love, or the love of her siblings.

 

The only kindness she had ever received was from her departed grandmother, the kindness of the servants, and the etiquette of other nobles she met at social gatherings.

 

She always felt lonely even when surrounded by a group of people.

 

Sometimes she even wondered if her grandmother had lied to her.

 

Perhaps there was no such thing as a destined partner.

 

It might have been her grandmother’s mercy for her, who had nothing but misfortune.

 

Because dreams give hope for the future.

 

Of course, even that hope had recently disappeared.

 

Ner cautiously grasped Gibson's arm.

 

It felt like she was touching her father like this after a long time.

 

The tears, which were thought to have dried up, once again flowed from Ner's eyes.

 

“…Father…”

 

“…”

 

"I... I really don't want to... sniff... please..."

 

“…”

 

"I've never wanted anything... so please..."

 

Gibson's expression gradually darkened.

 

He didn’t change his words.

 

"...I'm sorry."

 

He just simply offered an apology.

 

Ner finally killed her emotions.

 

Her tears gradually ceased. With a blank face, she released her father's arm.

 

Then she turned her head back to the window and looked at the moon.

 

“Please leave.”

 

Ner requested, but Gibson remained motionless for a long time.

 

Ner found solace in the faint sense of guilt her father had towards her.

 

She tried to change her mind.

 

Someone had to make sacrifices. She, who had nothing to be happy with, would have to take on all the misfortune.

 

“…Ner.”

 

Suddenly, Gibson grabbed Ner's arm.

 

Ner was slightly surprised by the unfamiliar touch.

 

A long sigh escaped Gibson’s mouth.

 

After contemplating for a while, he whispered quietly in a low voice.

 

"...If you ever felt that this father of yours didn't love you... it's a misunderstanding."

 

“…”

 

“It’s just… It hurt more, so I couldn’t show it for a while.”

 

“…”

 

“The seeds made with Syllin…How could I hate them…”

 

Hearing those words, Ner felt a complex mix of emotions.

 

If it had been a few days ago, her father's confession would have sounded touching.

 

But now, it seemed like nothing more than an excuse.

 

"...So from now on, what I'm about to say is a secret."

 

However, the atmosphere abruptly changed with Gibson's following words.

 

A change transmitted from his hand, which held her arm.

 

"It means giving up honor... but for the sake of our territory children and future..."

 

“…Father?”

 

Ner, who was looking at the moon, turned her gaze to Gibson.

 

He whispered.

 

"...Can you endure... Betrayal?"

 

"...............Yes...?"

 

In that instant, Ner doubted her own ears.

 

“…Bring me the information that can destroy the Red Flames. As the vice-captain’s wife, you will be able to access such information someday.”

 

Even without listening carefully, she could sense what Gibson was thinking.

 

"...We're in a situation where we need to extinguish urgent grievances. The war with the Demon King will soon come to an end. If we just get through this last crisis, we can gradually regain our past strength. Not only us, but many other nobles will be the same."

 

"...F-Father..."

 

"Naturally, the influence of the mercenary units will diminish accordingly. Knowing this fact, the Red Flames is also taking you with them. They are seeking a way to survive. Carrying us on their backs."

 

“…”

 

"Endure quietly until the war is over. Wait until Blackwood regains its strength. Afterward, if you find the weaknesses of the Red Flames and send me information... by any means necessary. Whether by shattering the Red Flames with another mercenary group or by joining forces with other families to dismantle and annihilate them... however it may be, I will break them, and save you."

 

It was a sincere proposal from her father.

 

For the first time, Ner felt as if his own voice had reached her.

 

Emotions she had suppressed surged forth again.

 

Despite how pathetic it seemed, she made a request once more.

 

"...Is there truly... no way to avoid marriage...?"

 

“…”

 

Gibson showed no reaction at all.

 

Marriage was now inevitable.

 

With tears in her eyes, Ner asked about his next best solution.

 

"...Sniff... Will you rescue me later?"

 

Ner’s voice was sinking, and she had no choice but to hold on to the rope. There was no other way.

 

Gibson slowly pulled Ner's head close to his chest.

 

For Ner, it was the warmth of her father that she felt for the first time.

 

"...I sincerely apologize for putting you in this situation. I... didn't want to sell you either."

 

While feeling sobbing heart, Ner still pointed out the unresolved issues.

 

Although there was hope with the emergence of an escape route, there were things that wouldn't change.

 

"...What about my purity all this time?"

 

“……”

 

"...Sniff... Father... What about my dignity?"

 

Even if things worked out and she escaped from the Red Flames, her innocence would not be restored.

 

She couldn't expect such a thing from a savage human filled only with lust.

 

During the war's end and while Blackwood regained its strength, it was certain that she would be violated as much as he pleased.

 

Could her fated partner, whom she would meet someday, accept her impurity?

 

Ner was not confident.

 

"...Deceive him somehow. He can't treat you recklessly either. If he makes a mistake there, it will be like opposing all of Blackwood's allies, in other words, the nobles... He will respect your opinion."

 

"How can you know that? He is ... a human."

 

Gibson didn't answer.

 

For Ner, that was enough of an answer.

 

It was time to prepare mentally.

 

Ner wiped her tears and asked for clear information.

 

"...Haaa... How long... how long do I have to wait?"

 

“One year…Or two years…”

 

"When the time comes... will you let me know that you are ready?"

 

Even in the midst of this, Ner doubted Gibson's words. It might have been a lie to make her obedient and then discard her.

 

"Of course. I promise on your mother's honor."

 

But Gibson's promise was not false.

 

“…Uhhhhh…”

 

Ner shed tears by her father's side, who promised a definite end.

 

Gibson continued to console Ner and explain.

 

"But above all else... I hope you find happiness there. That way no one will get hurt…”

 

Ner shook her head.

 

"My partner... My partner is not a mercenary."

 

Even if there was only one thing she knew, the vice-captain of the Red Flames was not her destined partner.

 

He wasn't even a noble.

 

Gibson seemed to be moved by Ner's response.

 

"...Then find the information."

 

Ner's body relaxed entirely.

 

It was the moment when she finally accepted the marriage.

 

If it was a hell that would end someday, she decided to endure it again this time.

 

Her grandmother said her destiny partner cherishes herself.

 

Even if she met him without her purity, she believed that he would surely treat her with care... She had to believe in it.

 

Once again, she had no choice but to believe in her grandmother's prophecy and gather her strength.

 

Once again, she had no choice but to believe in the prophecy and endure.

 

After all, she was accustomed to waiting.

 

****

 

“Berg, can we become nobles too?"

 

It was late at night.

 

I was gazing at the moon from the room I was guided to.

 

As the members of our group passed around the light liquor they had brought, I joined in on Adam Hyung’s sudden, out-of-context remarks.

 

"Why all of a sudden?"

 

He spread his arms and pointed around.

 

"This kind of life is good."

 

The mansion that served as our residence was a grand mansion.

 

Adam Hyung continued to look around the elegantly furnished room.

 

I raised my head and asked again.

 

“…So, why?”

 

The question about nobility wasn't because of a good house.

 

Having known Adam Hyung for a long time, that was clear.

 

Adam Hyung sighed with a sense of frustration, licked his lips, and whispered.

 

“…No. When I look around the Blackwood Territory... everyone seems happy."

 

"They may seem happy. But they called us right before they were about to die."

 

"The soldiers died, not their families."

 

"...So what does that have to do with us becoming nobles?"

 

"I'm just wondering if we could live stable lives if we had independent power."

 

“…”

 

"The Red Flames is great... But we are mercenaries, so there are too many people dying.”

 

“…”

 

Compared to other mercenary groups, the casualty rate was incredibly low... but as close-knit as it was, the death of each individual had a significant impact.

 

I sympathized with his words a hundred times.

 

I continued to listen attentively to Hyung's words.

 

"It would be nice if we had land we could rule over."

 

I snorted.

 

Within my laughter, there was also respect for him. He always seemed to be thinking only about the members.

 

“Since I am not a noble, I have no land. I can’t even farm. That's why we keep being mercenaries like this."

 

"Sounds like you want to live by farming someday?"

 

"If I could, that would be the best, Berg. But I said, when the war ends, we'll have to find a new path."

 

I sensed the sincerity in his words.

 

I didn’t spit out any jokes I was about to throw, nor any insincere replies.

 

Instead, I spoke with the best answer I could come up with using my stubborn head.

 

"...Maybe you should marry a noble, Hyung. That might give us some hope."

 

"Forget about that. Even if I become a noble that way, I won't get land."

 

"Then what do we do?"

 

Adam Hyung shrugged his shoulders.

 

"I don't know, Berg. I just wish I could be born again."

 

While we were sincerely discussing our worries together, unable to bear it any longer, I burst into laughter at Adam's nonsensical words.