Chapter 200: Ner’s Choice (4)

 

- Drip...

 

Cold tears wet my face.

 

Her face, reflected in the moonlight, was steeped in sorrow.

 

“You still care about me in the end…!! You still love me in the end…!! Why are you pushing me away like this!! Hic...!”

 

“…Ner.”

 

My expression broke. It was probably because I realized she wasn’t hurt, and because her emotions were crashing into me more strongly than ever before.

 

Ner grabbed my collar and pulled me close.

 

Her lips pressed against mine.

 

I felt her sharp fangs graze my teeth.

 

Without a moment to collect myself, she pulled away and shouted at me again.

 

“You’re worrying about me... hic... this much... in the end...!”

 

- Smooch!

 

She kissed me again.

 

“You would’ve chased after me if I disappeared... in the end...!”

 

- Smooch!

 

“You never really wanted to push me away either, did you!!”

 

The last kiss was fiercer than any before.

 

In contrast to her hands, her lips were warm.

 

Her long tongue slipped into my mouth.

 

Like she was yearning for love, tears streaming down her face, Ner continued the long kiss.

 

“Haa… haa…”

 

She finally pulled away, breathing heavily, wiping our shared saliva roughly from her lips.

 

“Say it, Berg...!”

 

She demanded.

 

“Hurry... hic... tell me you love me... speak your true feelings…”

 

“…”

 

“If you weren’t worried about me, why are you here…? If I was such a burden, why did you follow me...?”

 

- Thud.

 

She collapsed, leaning her elbow next to my face.

 

We were so close, our noses almost touched.

 

“My husband… my love… my partner...”

 

“…”

 

“For me... the time I spent with you... is still the brightest moment of my life...”

 

- Drip.

 

Her tears kept speaking for her, revealing her true feelings.

 

“Because of you... hic... I found a reason to keep living…”

 

Her tears ran down my face, as if they were my own.

 

“But now that you’re not looking at me anymore... I feel like I’m dying, Berg... I can’t bear it any longer…”

 

She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me close.

 

“I’m not asking you to stop loving Sien… I’m just asking you to share a little bit of your love… Why is that so impossible…? Why…?”

 

I couldn’t summon the strength to sit up.

 

The weight of Ner, lying on top of me, felt more familiar than ever. It was almost like the comfort we once shared when we used to sleep in the same bed.

 

My emotions were a chaotic storm.

 

With great difficulty, I finally spoke.

 

“...But all I see is another separation.”

 

“Hic... ugh…”

 

“I’m married to Sien... How could I accept you too?”

 

At my words, Ner, as if fueled by anger, sat up and shouted at me.

 

“Hic...! But before...! You did it just fine!! You loved me and Arwin-nim at the same time!!”

 

“Things are different now. It’s forbidden by law!”

 

“Since when did you care about something like that!?”

 

Ner shouted at the top of her lungs.

 

It was the same thing Sien had said.

 

Since when did you care about the law?

 

Come to think of it, during our days in the slums... when the mercenaries fought each other, or when we cut down soldiers in the Jackson family, or when we killed bandits in Stockpin...

 

I’d never cared. Just as they said.

 

It was a fact engraved deep in my bones.

 

“I love you, Berg.”

 

Ner confessed to me, unable to offer any rebuttal.

 

“I love you, I love you, I love you…”

 

This time, she kissed me gently.

 

She lightly placed her lips on mine.

 

After continuing the kiss for a while, she pulled away and whispered.

 

“Please... This is your answer, isn’t it...? You came looking for me, too...”

 

She might be right.

 

What excuse could I possibly offer in this situation?

 

Perhaps to anyone else, the truth would be more obvious than ever.

 

But as she looked down at my silence, Ner slowly whispered.

 

“Is it… because I’m not human…?”

 

She let out a bitter laugh, as if mocking herself, and pulled a dagger from her side.

 

-Shing…!

 

Where did she even get that dagger?

 

And why did she bring it?

 

If I hadn’t shown up… would she have taken her life with that?

 

But unaware of my thoughts, Ner continued speaking.

 

“If I… become human… will you accept me then?”

 

Before I could even comprehend what she was saying, Ner grabbed her tail with her other hand.

 

With a voice full of frustration, she continued.

 

“...Hic... This white tail…”

 

“Ner…!”

 

“If I didn’t have this, maybe life would’ve been easier… You don’t even call it beautiful anymore... You just think it’s hideous…”

 

“Put the dagger down…!”

 

“...If this tail is so useless... maybe I don’t need it.”

 

Before I could offer any response, I saw her grip the dagger tightly.

 

Ner twisted her body, staring down at her tail.

 

In an instant, her hand moved toward it.

 

-Clasp!

 

At the last possible moment, I managed to grab her wrist.

 

Had I not stopped her, she might have really cut off her tail.

 

“Stop…!”

 

At my shout, Ner showed a face full of anguish.

 

“No...! If I can’t be like you... hic... If it means you’ll love me... I’d cut this useless tail off as many times as it takes...!”

 

“...”

 

Why did she look so pitiful?

 

I could finally see her now.

 

I could finally see how much she had been struggling... something I had been avoiding until now.

 

The truth of her race, the one that only loves one person, was finally hitting me.

 

Ner couldn’t bear to be without me any longer.

 

“…Haah…”

 

In the end, I let all the tension drain from my body.

 

I lowered the defenses around my heart.

 

And as soon as I did, my body moved on its own... pulling her into my arms.

 

-Thud.

 

My body acted on its own.

 

Her head rested against my chest.

 

“…Stop, Ner…”

 

It had been so long since I held her.

 

But her warmth felt just as familiar as it always had.

 

I pulled her close, clutching the back of her neck and her waist.

 

Burying my face into her shoulder, I whispered to her.

 

“It’s time to stop now…”

 

-Thud…

 

“Hic... ugh...”

 

Only then did the dagger fall from her hand.

 

“Hic… Berg…”

 

Her tense body slowly melted in my arms.

 

With slow, deliberate movements, she placed her hand on my back.

 

She embraced me.

 

As if I might vanish at any moment, she clung to me, releasing all the emotions she had been holding back.

 

“Berg… ugh… Berg…”

 

For a long time, we stayed like that, holding each other under the moonlight.

 

.

.

.

.

 

After her tears had finally subsided, I held her hand, making sure she wouldn’t wander off again, and led her back to the village.

 

It wasn’t as if things had completely returned to the way they were.

 

There was still a wall between us.

 

We both felt it, but neither of us said a word.

 

Ner kept rubbing her face against my arm, wiping away the lingering tears.

 

I let her. I gave her my body to lean on.

 

I stayed quiet and let her do as she pleased.

 

It had been a long time since we walked through the night together.

 

We shared the peaceful atmosphere, side by side.

 

The storm had passed, but paradoxically, things had now become calm.

 

Only when we reached the village did she let go of my hand.

 

-Thud.

 

And then, without warning, she spun around and ran off somewhere.

 

“...”

 

I almost reached out to stop her, but instead, I let out a sigh.

 

Maybe she needed time too.

 

For now, it was enough that she had returned to the village.

 

I watched her retreating figure for a long time.

 

Only after she had disappeared from sight did I turn and head back home.

 

There was still plenty to do tomorrow.

 

****

 

Ner ran away from Berg, only to find herself standing in front of Sien’s hospital room.

 

Tears continued to fall from Ner’s eyes.

 

It was hard to call them tears of happiness.

 

It didn’t feel like that.

 

...Perhaps it was resignation.

 

Berg had finally accepted her, but paradoxically, a new emotion had bloomed within her.

 

-Creak...

 

Without knocking, Ner entered the room.

 

“Cough... cough…”

 

At the same time, a weak coughing sound echoed.

 

Ner slowly approached the source of the cough.

 

There lay the face of the person Berg loved so dearly.

 

Sien, who had everything that Ner did not.

 

A devil’s whisper echoed in her mind.

 

‘If she dies...? Couldn’t I have a happy future with Berg?’

 

Berg had already accepted her to some extent.

 

He had acknowledged that there was still love left for her.

 

“…Ah…”

 

At that moment, Sien opened her eyes.

 

She seemed to have woken from sensing Ner’s presence.

 

“Cough...! Cough...! Lady Ner…”

 

“…”

 

“What brings you... here at this late hour…?”

 

Even as Sien looked up at her, Ner did not step back.

 

In front of those eyes, she had always felt small and insignificant.

 

...But now, there was no more room to retreat.

 

Ner looked down at Sien and spoke.

 

“...I wanted you to die.”

 

She revealed her heart.

 

Sien froze at Ner’s words, unable to move.

 

“If you died… it felt like I could go back to the way things were with Berg… Like that was the only way…”

 

She confessed her deepest, darkest desire.

 

Yet, Sien merely looked up at her in silence.

 

It was unclear whether she was too weak to react or if she had simply chosen not to.

 

Sien just lay there for a long moment… and then, smiling softly, she replied.

 

“...So… have you come... to kill me now?”

 

Ner shook her head.

 

“If I left you be, you’d die anyway…”

 

She even told Sien what she had recently come to realize.

 

Ner had done everything she could, but Sien’s body couldn’t hold out any longer.

 

Ner knew that Sien’s days were numbered.

 

At her words, Sien’s eyes trembled.

 

She smiled weakly and spoke.

 

“...No… Berg will… be in pain...”

 

Ner, watching her, responded.

 

“…I know.”

 

That’s why she had come here.

 

Ner swallowed her tears and spoke.

 

“...I’ve realized something… It took me too long, but I’ve finally understood… I wasn’t wishing for my own happiness.”

 

“…”

 

“...I’ve realized that if Berg is happy, then that’s enough.”

 

“…”

 

“And right now, I think... you and your child will make Berg happier than I ever could…”

 

“...Lady Ner…?”

 

-Whoosh!

 

Ner suddenly climbed on top of Sien, pressing down hard on her shoulders.

 

Sien, unable to resist, whispered.

 

“Ah… it hurts, Lady Ner…”

 

“...Just bear it for a moment.”

 

-Crack…

 

Tears streamed from Ner’s eyes once again.

 

She had no idea what the outcome of this spell would be.

 

Ner didn’t know what would happen to her.

 

She might die here.

 

The spell she was about to perform was one of that nature.

 

It was a spell cast only for the one you love, and it demanded your life in return.

 

But Berg loved Sien, and Ner loved Berg.

 

There was no other way for her to continue this path.

 

One thing, however, was certain: Sien’s condition would improve.

 

The spell would give her enough time to overcome the plague.

 

Who would’ve thought that a day would come when Ner would sacrifice her life for her rival?

 

For Ner, who had only ever loved Berg, there could be no greater humiliation.

 

She was betting her life so that the man she loved could live happily with someone else.

 

Ner let out a bitter laugh.

 

…And yet, she began to chant the spell.

 

Her eyes began to glow orange, and soon, glowing orange lines emerged from her body and flowed into Sien.

 

“Wh-What is this…?”

 

Sien, feeling the immediate effects, looked back at Ner with a newfound energy.

 

But Ner, despite seeing Sien’s surprise, continued the chant without pause.

 

This was the spell her grandmother had taught her.

 

A spell she had desperately sought out in case the person she loved was ever in danger.

 

Ner could feel her body deteriorating rapidly.

 

The strength in the arms pinning Sien down was fading.

 

“L-Lady Ner...!”

 

Life was returning to Sien’s eyes.

 

But Ner’s own eyes were losing their light.

 

She was exchanging her health for Sien’s.

 

Ner’s arms began to tremble, on the verge of giving way.

 

In those moments, Ner didn’t focus on Sien in front of her, but instead, recalled memories of Berg.

 

‘Ner.’

 

From the first time they met to the moment she fell in love with him.

 

She remembered the way he smiled and called her name.

 

Those memories made Ner smile, too.

 

‘...Berg.’

 

She whispered to herself.

 

If something went wrong, this might be the last time.

 

‘...You have to be happy.’

 

Believing that Berg would find happiness, she chanted the spell to the very end.

 

-Thud.

 

Her body finally gave out.

 

As her consciousness faded, she felt Sien shaking her vigorously.

 

It seemed the spell had worked.

 

‘This is enough.’

 

She comforted herself.

 

As long as Berg could be happy, that was all that mattered.

 

Ner closed her eyes.

 

She prayed she might see Berg, even if only in her dreams.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

 

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