Chapter 118: If I Embrace You Now (2)

 

I looked at my wives falling behind and made a decision.

 

“Burns!”

 

“Yes, vice-captain!”

 

“Stay with my wives and follow slowly! If you think you’ll get caught up in the battle, act as you see fit! Anyway, bring just the two of them safely to the Jackson family’s territory.”

 

Ner and Arwin couldn’t oppose my command.

 

They were already at their physical limits.

 

Even though we were riding horses, maintaining such speed for a long time was exhausting for the riders.

 

Burns nodded his head.

 

I then looked at Arwin and Ner.

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

After exchanging glances, I nodded.

 

With that, they seemed to lose momentum, slowing down and gradually falling far behind.

 

After all, it was impossible for my wives to follow all the way to the battlefield.

 

From here, it would be okay to approach slowly.

 

The Jackson family’s castle was visible for a while now.

 

At the same time, the heavy atmosphere of the battlefield was approaching.

 

I could faintly hear the sounds of monsters rampaging.

 

The more I heard, the faster I urged my horse.

 

Baran, who was also speeding up beside me, said,

 

“Vice-captain! There’s no sign of the boss monster!”

 

I nodded at this welcome news.

 

It was somewhat of a relief.

 

I focused on the external facts.

 

I tried not to pay any attention to my wavering heart.

 

I still couldn’t believe it.

 

Was I really going to meet her?

 

It had been 7 years.

 

Such a long time had passed.

 

Was I finally going to face her?

 

“...”

 

I shook my head.

 

And then looked forward.

 

Whatever happens... the battle comes first.

 

We continued on, cutting through the rain.

 

.

.

.

.

 

-Heeheehee!

 

On the battlefield that unfolded before us, we brought our horses to a halt.

 

“...What is this?”

 

Shawn murmured as he gazed upon the horrific disaster unfolding before his eyes.

 

What was immediately visible wasn’t a battle between monsters and soldiers.

 

It was a battle among soldiers themselves.

 

A literal war was raging.

 

The people were killing and brutalizing each other, unleashing unspeakable cruelty.

 

I caught my breath at the sight.

 

Could the hero party have gotten entangled in such a war?

 

“Berg! Follow me!”

 

But Gale’s call snapped me back to reality.

 

Regaining my senses, I saw a red hawk leading us.

 

Gale, following the hawk’s trail, spurred his horse forward.

 

“A war has broken out...! I never imagined the Jackson family’s succession struggle would escalate to this...!”

 

“Succession struggle...?”

 

“Let’s talk about it later...!”

 

I agreed with Gale’s words.

 

Now was not the time for such discussions.

 

Especially not in a place like this.

 

And as we felt ourselves drawing closer... the turmoil in my heart only grew.

 

Being my first experience of this kind, I didn’t know how to control myself.

 

Telling myself to stop thinking about it didn’t work as easily as saying it.

 

She decided to forget me. She left me.

 

She said she would not come back.

 

She was the one who broke all our promises.

 

And yet... here I was, still disturbed.

 

“...Huh.”

 

I exhaled shortly.

 

Regaining my composure was a challenge.

 

Remembering the pain she caused me seemed to make me a bit colder.

 

Thinking of Ner and Arwin, my resolve strengthened more than before.

 

I was prepared for whatever I might see.

 

-Beeeeep!

 

The red hawk cried out and dove into a group of soldiers.

 

“...Ah... shit...”

 

I quietly cursed at the scene unfolding before my eyes.

 

I closed my eyes tightly and gripped the reins hard.

 

I saw a bright sanctuary surrounded by soldiers.

 

Numerous monsters trying to invade that sanctuary were also visible.

 

Who was at the center was all too obvious.

 

-Thump. Thump. Thump.

 

Facing the wounds of the past made me even more unsettled.

 

It felt like all those memories were coming back to life.

 

I shook my head with difficulty once more.

 

Now was not the time for this.

 

I gathered my courage for the second time and shouted.

 

“Baran!”

 

“Yes, vice-captain!”

 

I issued a tactical command.

 

“Circle to the left! Lead the monsters! We’ll draw their attention and slip into the encirclement if there’s an opening! Rescuing the hero party in the center is our priority!”

 

“Yes! Follow me, Jackson!”

 

When Baran called for Jackson, Jackson also shouted.

 

“Jackson squad! Follow Baran-nim!”

 

Several mercenaries responded energetically.

 

I then issued another command.

 

“Shawn! Support the vulnerable western side of the encirclement! As always, respond to sudden situations on your own!”

 

“Yes, vice-captain!”

 

-Swish!

 

I drew my sword.

 

The team members simultaneously became one, drawing their swords.

 

Gale also took out his weapon.

 

Just before starting the battle, I gave Baran one last order.

 

“Baran! Blow the horn! Let them know reinforcements have arrived!”

 

In war, morale was everything. It was essential to inform the soldiers inside about the arrival of reinforcements to give them strength.

 

Baran didn’t hesitate to follow my command.

 

He pulled a horn from his waistband and blew into it until his cheeks were about to burst.

 

-Boooom...! Boooom...!

 

I could see the soldiers accompanying the hero party looking in our direction.

 

The loud sound drew the attention of several monsters towards us.

 

“Let’s go!”

 

With that final command, everyone scattered in different directions.

 

Gale stayed by my side.

 

.

.

.

 

I targeted the weakened encirclement.

 

Thanks to Baran leading the monsters away, a gap opened.

 

“Hup!”

 

I gripped my sword tightly and swung it downward.

 

A stance repeated thousands, if not hundreds of times.

 

...But for some reason, today it felt unfamiliar.

 

Even the smooth handling of the sword seemed unsettling.

 

The soldiers within the encirclement, realizing reinforcements had arrived, began to gather strength.

 

They pushed back the monsters with shields and stabbed them with spears, waiting for us to get closer.

 

The monsters caught between the soldiers and us quickly met their demise.

 

Gale, too, was fiercely swinging his sword beside me, slaying monsters.

 

“Gale!”

 

Someone inside the encirclement shouted.

 

A woman’s voice, unfamiliar to me.

 

Gale responded loudly to the voice.

 

“Sylphrien-nim! We’re here! Just hold on a little longer!”

 

Unconsciously, I scanned the inside of the encirclement at their voices.

 

My eyes searched for the saintess.

 

...But she was nowhere to be seen.

 

Should I be relieved or the opposite?

 

I vented my frustration on the monsters before me.

 

It felt like returning to the early days when I first became a mercenary.

 

It had been a long time since I’d fought with such emotions.

 

“Sylphrien-nim! Is everyone safe?”

 

Gale asked again.

 

Even as I slew monsters, my mind was fixated on that question.

 

“I don’t know...! The, the saintess...!”

 

The saintess.

 

-Clench...!

 

At that word, I gritted my teeth.

 

I could no longer control the emotions that had started to run wild.

 

“Break through!”

 

I commanded the team members.

 

At the same time, more fiercely, I sliced through monsters left and right, penetrating deeper.

 

Forcibly creating an opening, I cut, split, and killed.

 

As forcefully as I pushed through, I was scratched and bitten here and there.

 

But the monsters between the soldiers and our team members were quickly crushed.

 

The soldiers, seeing us appear, seemed almost tearful with joy.

 

“We... we’re saved...!”

 

At the same time, they made way for us.

 

The encirclement broke, creating a path.

 

An escape route emerged.

 

“Guard the escape path!”

 

At my command, the team members began to secure the newly opened escape route.

 

Gale, too, worked hard alongside the team members to ensure the encirclement didn’t close again.

 

“Felix! Can you hear me!”

 

Gale shouted to someone.

 

“Yes!”

 

A strong response came back.

 

“We’ll slowly move towards this side to escape! Get ready! Don’t move too hastily!”

 

“Yes!”

 

But I didn’t have the leisure to focus on that.

 

I left the formation guarded by the team members.

 

Jumping off my horse, I ran deep into the encirclement.

 

Thanks to Baran leading the monsters away... one by one, the soldiers began to catch their breath.

 

There was a brief respite.

 

“Haah... Haah...”

 

My breathing grew heavier.

 

The sounds of the battlefield faded away.

 

With each step I took, it felt like I was going back in time.

 

It reminded me of the times I went to visit her at the orphanage.

 

The only difference now was that she had become a saintess, and I had become a mercenary.

 

My body was covered in fatigue from the short but intense battle.

 

There were many new wounds.

 

I was bitten and torn by monsters, my flesh exposed in several places.

 

My boots were stuck in the mud, and my wet clothes clung to me.

 

Unknowingly, I dropped my sword and threw off my helmet.

 

My world was gradually narrowing.

 

The heat of the war, and its discomfort.

 

The corpses of people and monsters all disappeared from my sight.

 

The only thing I could see was one thing.

 

“..........Sien.”

 

I whispered her name.

 

At the same time, an illusion occurred as if only the two of us existed in this world.

 

It seemed like we were the only ones in a pure white space.

 

“...Haah.......Haah....”

 

Her shallow breaths, as if they might extinguish at any moment.

 

Her expression uncontrollably contorted.

 

There was no need to force a strained expression.

 

“...Ha.”

 

Even a hollow laugh escaped.

 

She lay in a mud puddle, unable to move.

 

The girl who once harmonized with flowers and sunlight, now unconscious, covered in blood, collapsed in the mud.

 

This was our reunion after seven years.

 

-Splash!

 

My legs gave out.

 

One knee sank into the mud puddle.

 

Powerless laughter continued at this sight.

 

“Leaving me...”

 

I found myself whispering unintentionally.

 

Strength drained from my entire body.

 

“...Is this what you chose?”

 

The first words I addressed to her, who couldn’t respond, were of anger.

 

As if continuing the conversation we never finished.

 

I was unleashing my anger at her, meeting her for the first time in seven years.

 

“All to end up like this...!”

 

Breaking all our promises.

 

Making it impossible for me to wait.

 

Leaving me with such deep wounds.

 

“You left me to end up like this!!”

 

I shouted.

 

“Get up and say something!!”

 

-Thud!

 

A heavy force was transmitted under my arm.

 

A hand guiding me, as I was unable to regain my senses.

 

“Berg! This isn’t the time! We must leave before the encirclement closes again!”

 

It was Gale who had approached me.

 

He lifted me up.

 

He handed me back the sword I had dropped.

 

At his words, I clenched my teeth and looked around.

 

It seemed that not many had heard what I just said.

 

Everyone was too exhausted from the battle to pay attention to others.

 

The only ones who heard my voice... were, at most, the three people who had gathered around Sien.

 

A Dragonian warrior.

 

A Centaur.

 

An Elf.

 

“...Do you know the saintess-nim?”

 

The Dragonian warrior asked.

 

It was easy to guess who they were.

 

The exhausted Centaur whispered,

 

“...A human mercenary?”

 

At this, the Elf inhaled sharply, as if realizing something.

 

“...That can’t be...!”

 

But I had no time to pay attention to their detailed reactions.

 

The anger that had started to burst forth was uncontrollable.

 

“Isn’t she your companion?”

 

“...What?”

 

“Why isn’t there a single bastard helping Sien...!”

 

The Dragonian warrior whispered in confusion,

 

“...Sien?”

 

“...Ha.”

 

I felt deflated at that almost playful response.

 

Even trying to get angry felt like punching the air.

 

Then I remembered again.

 

The words Arwin had said to me.

 

No one knows saintess’ name.

 

She had said it might even be rude to call the saintess by her name.

 

That was indeed the case.

 

Even the paladins who took Sien from me told me not to call her by her name.

 

Gale spoke again.

 

“We’ll talk later...! We need to leave!”

 

The Dragonian warrior responded.

 

“Master... but how can we touch the saintess-nim’s body...!”

 

Gale hesitated at that response.

 

I just couldn’t believe this absurd farce.

 

Could it be true that no one was allowed to touch Sien’s body or even call her by name?

 

Did that mean for the past seven years... she had no physical contact with anyone, nor was her name ever called?

 

The cruelty of that reality tightened around my throat.

 

But, suppressing my emotions, I approached Sien.

 

I reached out to her.

 

-Thud!

 

-Thump!

 

Two hands blocked me.

 

The Dragonian warrior and the Centaur.

 

“Move.”

 

I said.

 

“...You mustn’t touch the saintess. We need to find another way.”

 

He spoke with a pained expression.

 

To me, his concern seemed ridiculous.

 

“...So she should just die here?”

 

“...”

 

It was clear that delaying would only dampen the morale of the soldiers we had briefly rallied.

 

I hadn’t brought the Red Flames here to stay.

 

Leading only the Head Hunter unit for a brief visit, I couldn’t afford the burden of a prolonged battle.

 

-Thump!

 

I pushed the exhausted Dragonian warrior and Centaur aside and approached Sien.

 

“...”

 

My steps halted again in front of her.

 

I slowly knelt down.

 

Her head lay in front of my knees.

 

This was the closest I had been to her in the last seven years.

 

It seemed like she could wake up any moment now, smiling at me.

 

She appeared slightly more mature.

 

That change made the passage of time more tangible.

 

Yet, at the same time, being by her side felt so natural.

 

As if we had met just yesterday.

 

“...Sien.”

 

Being here like this... the emotions I had hidden surged forward.

 

Precious feelings hidden behind fierce anger.

 

The harsh words born of resentment that I had only imagined, couldn’t escape my lips.

 

Especially in front of her, who couldn’t hear my voice, I could be utterly honest.

 

“...You said you wanted to eat delicious food.”

 

I murmured.

 

She didn’t respond.

 

“...You wanted to wear pretty clothes.”

 

Unknowingly, my hand brushed her hair.

 

I resented her... but just as much, I wished for her happiness.

 

I never wanted this for her.

 

“Why are you like this... why... why...”

 

I held her cheeks in both hands.

 

-Thud...

 

I bowed my head, touching my forehead to hers.

 

“....”

 

Then, I stood up and lifted her in my arms.

 

It was an action so easy and natural for me.

 

The Elf spoke, probably the woman Arwin mentioned, Sylphrien.

 

“If you disrespect the Saintess of purity like this...”

 

Her tone was cautionary, even though she herself seemed to know it wasn’t right.

 

It felt as though she was speaking while knowing I was doing the right thing.

 

It might have been just a remnant of a habit built over the past seven years.

 

“...Does she look like a Saintess of purity to you?”

 

I asked, showing her Sien, who lay in my arms, covered in blood and mud.

 

“.......”

 

She had no words to say.

 

In my frustration, I burst out.

 

“...Those so-called warriors of God, so scared of them!”

 

Had Sien received no helping hand from anyone all this time?

 

The thought was enough to make my teeth grind in pity.

 

“...The Gods might punish you...”

 

Sylphrien whispered to me in a worried tone.

 

Her voice genuinely sounded concerned for me.

 

Looking at her... I let out a half-laugh and said,

 

“Let them.”

 

With those words, I walked away.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

 

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