Chapter 188: Request for Support (8)

 

After finishing my meal, I sat alone in my office, lost in thought.

 

Nothing disturbed me.

 

Warm sunlight seeped into the quiet room.

 

My body felt at ease, and my mind was calm.

 

For a moment, I could distance myself from all the burdens I had to bear as a lord.

 

I shed the hardships that came with my uncomfortable position.

 

Had I no schedule left, I would have even indulged in a drink.

 

If Adam Hyung had been by my side, it would have been perfect.

 

I would have enjoyed the passage of time without any worries... without any discomfort.

 

On a comfortable chair, the gentle sounds of nature quietly reaching my ears.

 

It was a perfect warmth.

 

There was no better moment for a nap.

 

...Of course, I couldn’t do that with the work that remained.

 

“...Haa.”

 

With a short sigh, I pulled myself out of my rest.

 

The weight of the responsibilities I had as a lord settled back onto my shoulders.

 

There were people who needed my care.

 

Whether there were any advantages to bearing this burden... I wasn’t sure.

 

I picked up the letter Arwin had sent.

 

I slowly read the words written on the letter once more.

 

The promise to help if I needed it.

 

The offer to provide various information on farming, to help me overcome these difficult times.

 

The claim that centuries of accumulated knowledge would be of assistance.

 

I sighed and leaned back into my chair.

 

Arwin’s final words continued to echo in my mind.

 

‘I have forgotten you. I no longer hold any feelings for you. I offer this help out of old affection, so please do not feel burdened’

 

“...”

 

I was relieved.

 

But at the same time, the words that she had already forgotten stirred something in me.

 

It was a complex feeling, difficult to put into words.

 

One thing was certain, though: the burden had lightened.

 

It meant I wouldn’t have to force myself to feel uncomfortable by pushing her away.

 

“...”

 

The memory of my meal with Ner lingered in my mind.

 

The honey pie had been delicious.

 

It was a dish filled with memories for both of us.

 

In the early days of our marriage, when Ner struggled to adjust, I often brought her honey pie to comfort her.

 

It was a dish I requested from the village women.

 

I knew that the honey pie Ner made was her way of expressing her affection for me.

 

That’s why I responded even more coldly in return.

 

I couldn’t bring myself to tell her it was delicious with more emotion.

 

Ner’s disappointed gaze still lingered in my mind.

 

What kind of hopes did she have as she made that dish, and how disappointed was she?

 

But... I didn’t want to give Ner false hope.

 

Regardless of whether I had forgiven her, we could no longer be together.

 

Maybe we could be friends.

 

But it didn’t seem like that was what Ner wanted.

 

And if what she wanted wasn’t friendship... then any relationship beyond that was already forbidden by law.

 

We, as nobles, were particularly bound by that law.

 

To be honest, I couldn’t understand what Ner was thinking, constantly approaching me like that.

 

She, more than anyone, should know that polygamy is forbidden by law.

 

Nothing would change even if she kept coming closer... so why did we keep putting ourselves through this painful cycle?

 

It was hard for me to keep pushing her away, seeing her disappointed.

 

And it must have been painful for her to keep reaching out, only to be rejected.

 

“...”

 

...Still, I knew better than anyone that emotions couldn’t be controlled by reason alone.

 

After all, I had fought countless battles just to protect Ner and Arwin.

 

Was it that she sought a love driven purely by emotion, with reason cast aside?

 

At least, for now, I was relieved that she was maintaining some boundaries.

 

Everyone’s standards differ, but neither I nor Sien felt that Ner had crossed any lines.

 

From the moment she decided to come to Stockpin, I had prepared for certain actions.

 

The attempts she had made so far were cautious, almost trivial, and as shy as she had always been.

 

Asking me to stroke her hair, or to hold her, or even making honey pie.

 

She was acting just as I was accustomed to.

 

If I kept cutting off these attempts one by one, she would eventually learn to give up.

 

-Tok, tok, tok.

 

At that moment, something tapped on the window.

 

I turned my head toward the sound and saw Lua tapping the glass with her tiny beak.

 

I smiled at the adorable creature and stood up.

 

Leaning down, I brought my face closer to the window and asked,

 

“...Are you over it?”

 

-Tok, tok, tok.

 

“You won’t bite again, right?”

 

-Chirp! Chirp!

 

At Lua’s response, I gently opened the window.

 

She flew into the room, circling around once.

 

Then Lua landed on the desk.

 

“I don’t have anything to give you.”

 

Sometimes Lua would visit me in the office like this to get a treat.

 

I used to feed her breadcrumbs or the seeds of fruits.

 

But Lua didn’t seem to mind that there was no food today; she kept chirping inside the room.

 

-Chirp! Chirp!

 

She playfully pecked at the various papers on the desk with her beak as an added bonus.

 

I chuckled at the sight and made a request.

 

“...It’d be great if you could take all those papers away, Lua.”

 

But of course, Lua didn’t understand and continued to play around in front of me.

 

I sat back down.

 

With a sigh, I pulled the next set of documents that needed my attention closer.

 

Lua, curious as ever, kept pecking at various things around her.

 

“Just play around there. I’ll be...”

 

-Chirp! Chirp!

 

Then, as if by chance, Lua picked up the letter from Arwin and brought it over to me.

 

It was just a coincidence, but it felt as if she was telling me to handle this first.

 

“...”

 

I glanced down at the letter again and then gently patted Lua on the head.

 

Memories of Arwin flashed through my mind.

 

I reread the postscript Arwin had added several times.

 

Finally, I smiled at Lua and said,

 

“...Alright. I’ll handle this first.”

 

****

 

After the meal, Ner sat alone in her room.

 

Her turn to continue nursing was over, so she could take a break for now.

 

But Ner wasn’t resting.

 

She had several books spread out before her, studying the various plagues and symptoms that had emerged throughout history.

 

She was meticulously jotting down the cures for those plagues, dedicating herself to creating a remedy for the current one.

 

It wasn’t that she expected everyone to miraculously recover from the medicine she made.

 

Those whose conditions had already worsened, whose bodies had become frail, might not survive even with the medicine.

 

Such things were in the realm of magic, sorcery, or miracles.

 

Ner was simply focused on finding a medicine that could significantly alleviate the symptoms of the plague.

 

It would be enough if the medicine could provide the body with just enough strength to withstand the plague.

 

There was only one reason she was so determined to create this medicine.

 

If she succeeded... she believed it would change her relationship with Berg.

 

He would recognize her sincere feelings for him.

 

“...”

 

...But after today, it was clear that belief had been shaken.

 

It was something she realized once again at the dinner table.

 

Even if she managed to accomplish all this, would Berg really look back at her?

 

Would he merely say thank you and let it end there?

 

“...No...”

 

She bit her lip and furrowed her brow.

 

It was a reality she didn’t want to believe.

 

She wanted to believe that if she put in this much effort, Berg might finally notice her.

 

She wanted to believe that he would show her the same smile and kindness he did when they were married.

 

She wanted to think that the happiness from back then would find its way back to her.

 

-Drip...

 

“...”

 

Ner roughly wiped away the tears that began to fall.

 

-Swipe!

 

She didn’t want to cry anymore.

 

She had already tasted enough of the bitterness and heartache after the divorce.

 

Every day had felt like the same hell, repeating endlessly.

 

‘Ner.’

 

She still vividly remembered the way Berg used to smile at her, calling her name.

 

She could recall the feeling of him holding her tightly from behind while she sat on his lap.

 

“...Ugh...”

 

She didn’t want to believe that Berg had disappeared.

 

Somewhere in his heart, that version of him was just asleep.

 

-Crash!

 

Ner swept all the books and notebooks off the desk and onto the floor.

 

Then, as if collapsing, she slumped over the desk, wrestling with her negative emotions for a while.

 

...But in the end, the negative emotions were the ones that emerged victorious.

 

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t bring herself to imagine a positive outcome.

 

-...Rustle.

 

Without even realizing it, Ner stood up.

 

She walked, carelessly stepping on the scattered notebooks on the floor.

 

The house was empty.

 

Before she knew it, she was walking toward the master bedroom.

 

It was a space that had once been her room.

 

At least until that woman, Sien, had intruded.

 

As she walked, Ner spotted some clothes that Berg had left behind.

 

“...”

 

Her careful hand picked up the garment.

 

If it had been night, she might have stolen a kiss from it, but since it was daytime, she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

 

The memory of when she used to secretly touch his clothes came to mind.

 

It was from a distant past, more than a year and a half ago.

 

Ner sat comfortably on Berg’s bed.

 

She ran her bare hand across the bedspread.

 

...Was this where Berg had made love to Sien?

 

Was this the place where their child was conceived?

 

“......”

 

...What if that child and Sien were no longer in the picture?

 

Would Berg then look at her?

 

With these dangerous thoughts swirling in her mind, Ner clutched Berg’s clothes tightly in both hands.

 

Slowly, she brought the garment up to her nose.

 

“...Haa...”

 

The moment she inhaled his scent, her eyes glazed over.

 

The longing for Berg’s affection made her feel as though she might cry again.

 

The scent she had missed for a year and a half filled her chest more intensely than ever before.

 

She couldn’t understand how such a lovely scent could exist.

 

It was a smell that even felt sensual.

 

Before she knew it, Ner found herself rubbing her thighs together.

 

‘...My husband...’

 

She took a deeper breath and whispered to herself.

 

‘...My mate...’

 

Normally, she wouldn’t have engaged in such a sordid act.

 

This side of her had always been buried deep within.

 

But the circumstances, and Berg’s rejection, had pulled this darker side of her to the surface.

 

She didn’t want to do this either.

 

She wanted to feel happiness, not guilt.

 

Yet, the guilt brought her twice as much pleasure as discomfort.

 

And so, Ner collapsed onto Berg’s bed.

 

She surrendered her body to the place where a married man slept.

 

“...Berg...”

 

She closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of his clothes, and imagined the man.

 

She continued to imagine him abandoning his wife to embrace her.

 

She envisioned him grabbing her wrists, holding her down, and taking her forcefully.

 

“Uh...B-Berg...”

 

Her tail wagged uncontrollably.

 

She even lightly bit the edge of Berg’s clothes.

 

Her body was heating up, and her actions grew more intense.

 

“..............What are you doing?”

 

Suddenly, a voice snapped her back to reality, and Ner jolted upright.

 

“...................”

 

Standing right at the entrance of the master bedroom... was Sien.

 

Ner blinked in shock.

 

-Thud.

 

The piece of Berg’s clothing she had been holding in her mouth slipped from her lips and fell limply onto her lap.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

 

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