Chapter 132: Old Love (1)

Sien pretended to walk away, then glanced back.

There, she saw Ner cheerfully departing.

Berg’s back was turned, his expression hidden, but next to him, Ner looked as happy as could be.

“...”

Had she once worn a smile similar to Ner Blackwood’s while standing beside him?

She surely had.

That was the charm of Berg, Sien knew all too well.

Stoic yet kind-hearted... Someone who would sacrifice himself to help others.

Knowing Berg better than anyone... she couldn’t help but envy Ner.

To smile so freely, without a care, was something she longed for.

How much she wanted to be embraced by Berg, to hold his hand—something the noble beside him wouldn’t understand.

Before she knew it, tears were streaming down her face again.

“...”

Silently, Sien wiped away her tears.

It was tiring to cry like this, but her body didn’t seem to listen, constantly reminded of her memories with Berg.

Berg, who had been with her since she was nine. He was her entire life.

No matter how revered she became as a saintess, no matter how many people adored her, without Berg, nothing had meaning.

She was the one who would be content in a humble home, even skipping meals, as long as Berg was by her side.

But now, Berg was with another woman.

And tomorrow, they were to part ways.

Berg wanted to cleanly sever their ties.

“...”

Sien clenched her teeth.

She suppressed the urge to run to him.

The idea of separation was unbearable.

She couldn’t believe this was their last meeting.

If it truly was the last... she felt no more attachments to this world.

Her world was Berg, and Berg alone.

She had endured, planning a life of happiness with him.

And still, she endured the pain of the present for that dream.

As she journeyed further, hope dwindled more and more.

A dark, heavy sense of oppression weighed on Sien’s heart, not knowing what to do.

Despite this, Sien tried not to lose sight of her goal.

The fact that the Demon King must die remained unchanged.

The reality that Berg was still a mercenary troubled her, but that was beyond her control now.

She had to finish what she had silently started.

Internally, she held a firm belief.

Berg couldn’t possibly hate her.

She understood his anger, but he couldn’t hate her.

She knew just by looking into his eyes.

She could tell just by hearing his breath.

They had been together for more than six years.

Having known Berg since childhood, she knew him even better.

When they were very young, they even bathed together. She even remembered the number of moles on his back.

Thus, understanding his true feelings was simple.

He didn’t hate her. It was impossible.

Now, he was just being more harsh because of his duty to his wives.

Pushing her away more forcefully because he once cared for her.

Berg always tried to fulfill his duties earnestly.

It was just his way of honoring his obligations, not because he disliked her.

Knowing this, perhaps that was why Sien was enduring the situation.

Taking a deep breath, she turned around.

Her mind was in turmoil.

To prepare for their parting, she handed Ner Blackwood a book filled with medical knowledge.

Yet, at the same time, she didn’t want to part with him.

She just wanted to be embraced in his arms.

But as she had thought before... if she let herself be embraced by him, she might never find the strength to stand again.

It seemed like she could rest in his arms for a lifetime.

With the goal of defeating the Demon King right before her, she feared she might stop in her tracks, lured by his warmth.

Thinking this way, perhaps it was better this way.

Because he was so cold towards her, she might find the strength to move forward.

...That was how Sien consoled herself.

Without doing so, it seemed too hard to endure.

.

.

.

Sien entered the grand mansion.

The hero party who had been waiting for her return all turned their eyes towards her.

Their worried expressions were evident.

Yet, pretending not to know, they each feigned ignorance and returned to their rooms one by one.

It seemed they were relieved to see Sien return.

“...Shall we go to bed? I’m tired.”

Felix said as he got up from his seat,

“Let’s do that. I was feeling sleepy anyway.”

Acran also rose his large frame and stepped outside.

“...”

Only Sylphrien looked at Sien with a worried expression, unable to hide her inner emotions.

Sien felt weak.

She felt a silent gratitude towards her companions who pretended not to notice.

“...Saintess-nim?”

As she moved to leave, Sylphrien called out to her.

“...Yes?”

“Can we talk for a moment?”

Sien blinked as she looked at Sylphrien.

Conversations with Sylphrien always gave her strength.

Perhaps even now, it could be the same.

So, she nodded her head.

.

.

.

“Are you okay?”

Sylphrien asked, pouring tea for Sien in her private quarters.

Sien could no longer hide her true feelings.

“No, I’m not.”

So, she answered honestly.

How could she be okay when the person she loved was pushing her away, keeping another woman by his side?

She wanted to push away all the women around him and take her place.

There was a time when she could have done that.

When their relationship was firm. Because they loved each other that much.

But now, things had changed too much.

Instead, the women by his side had reasons to push her away.

In a way, Sien was like someone clinging to a married man.

Sien let out a bitter laugh.

How did things come to this?

“I feel like I’m going to collapse.”

So, Sien said.

She was revealing her growing weakness.

She knew it was a burden. Sylphrien too must have felt the weight on her shoulders.

But Sien had no more strength left. No more energy to spare.

She was desperate, grasping at straws.

“...”

Sylphrien let out a short sigh.

After hesitating for a long while with a pained expression, Sylphrien finally spoke.

“...Saintess-nim.”

Even as she spoke, Sylphrien continued to hesitate.

She seemed to be debating with herself whether it was right to say what she was thinking.

Torn about what the right choice was, she kept glancing at Sien’s face and biting her lip.

As if trying to steady her own heart.

“...Hold on to hope.”

Sien let out a sigh and shook her head.

“...I wish I could.”

She said, mocking herself.

Yet, Sylphrien continued to hesitate.

As if she still had more to say.

“...Saintess-nim... I probably shouldn’t say this but...”

Sylphrien seemed earnest.

It was as if she was desperately hoping to give Sien strength.

“...that vice-captain...”

“........?”

“...he must love you the most.”

Sien managed a weary smile at that response.

She knew it was meant as comfort, yet the sentiment behind those words felt good.

As Sien wore a complex expression, Sylphrien continued.

“...It’s not just something I’m saying.”

“...Yes?”

Sylphrien glanced around cautiously.

Despite being the only two in the room, she seemed to be taking care.

Then Sylphrien leaned towards Sien.

She spoke in a whisper, as if confiding a secret.

“...Berg-nim still... with his wives...”

“....”

“...Their relationship doesn’t seem to be that good.”

Sien’s expression turned blank.

What did that mean?

As Sien’s mind went blank, unable to respond to Sylphrien’s words, the elf continued.

“...I heard it directly from Arwin. The appearance of good relations with his wives... it’s all an act. She said they’re trying to keep the mercenaries safe by pretending to be on good terms with nobles...”

“An act...?”

“Of course, there is friendship, but I heard it’s not love. Especially Ner Blackwood, she said she could never love the vice-captain, you know?”

“........”

“...So, you see, Saintess-nim... Even if the vice-captain seems cold, his heart might be...”

Sien blinked, mulling over those words.

She also remembered the conversation she had with Arwin a few days ago.

‘...What should I do?’

It was Arwin who had asked what to do about Berg.

Following Ner Blackwood, now Arwin Celebrien.

Were both marriages just political, without any shared feelings?

Sien let out a powerless, mocking laugh.

She laughed weakly for a while.

Then, covering her face with her hands, she hid her expression from Sylphrien.

The words she just heard stirred complex emotions within her.

Because of the conversation with Arwin, it wasn’t that she found Sylphrien’s words unbelievable.

But this story brought both relief and... on the other hand, only more discomfort.

Could it be that women who didn’t understand Berg’s worth had ensnared him?

Were the nobles underestimating Berg because of his background?

Was it because it was a marriage of convenience that there was an inherent aversion?

“...She said she couldn’t love Berg...?”

“...”

At the same time, Sien felt pity for Berg.

She knew what kind of person he was.

It had been that way since the slums.

Berg, who lived a rough life but loved tranquility.

Berg, who enjoyed watching sunsets on windy hills.

Was he now engaged in a fierce struggle with his wives too?

Were even his wives unable to provide him with peace?

Sien kept laughing.

It all felt like her fault.

If only she hadn’t left Berg’s side, would this pain not exist?

Or if she had just asked Berg to wait, could all this misfortune have been avoided?

Again, she spent the night clutching her aching heart.

****

The day to return to Stockpin arrived.

As the turmoil settled in the Jackson family’s domain, everyone prepared to return to their respective places.

The two sons of the Jackson family were to be taken to the capital for trial.

The Dom family decided to return to their domain, but only the Pantora family chose to stay one more day.

Numerous soldiers were aligned, and many cavalrymen had already headed outside the domain.

Gradually, I felt the events in the Jackson domain coming to an end.

I talked briefly with Adam Hyung, arranging our return schedule.

Discussing which direction to take, if there were any places we needed to visit, and so on...

This was after receiving the reward for the Head Hunter unit’s contribution in rescuing the hero party.

Having recruited new members for the mercenary group from within the Jackson domain, there was nothing left but to return.

“...Are you okay?”

After our rough conversation, Adam Hyung asked.

“...”

I paused in silence, then nodded.

I hadn’t come up with a precise answer yet, but I had to be okay.

I was doing my utmost not to be bound by the past.

I was envisioning a new future with my wives.

In that picture... Sien was no longer present.

The Dom family paid their last respects to the king and departed.

Along with them, the Red Flames group also began finalizing their preparations to leave.

Baran, Krian, and Theodore, along with some members of our group, headed out, while I, along with Adam Hyung, Shawn, Jackson, and the rest of the Head Hunter unit, stayed behind to tie up loose ends.

Ner and Arwin were also standing by my side.

I stood next to Hyung, offering our final greetings to the king.

...Sien and the hero party were nowhere to be seen.

“We’ll be leaving now.”

Adam Hyung said.

The king nodded his head.

While this was happening, Gale appeared from somewhere and joined me.

“...”

As I looked at him, Gale explained.

“...You haven’t yet received my teachings, have you? I’m still planning to follow you.”

“...”

I shrugged my shoulders.

I didn’t have the luxury to worry about Gale at the moment.

“Besides, how about receiving my teachings now? As I said, there’s no need to believe in gods. Improving your skills can only be beneficial.”

I blinked and gave a slight nod.

“...I’ll consider it.”

As Adam Hyung and the king’s farewell concluded, I turned around.

-Creak! Thud!

Just then, the doors of the mansion burst open, and the hero party rushed out.

Sien was at the forefront.

Her eyes were red, as if she had been crying a lot.

It seemed as if she had been hiding, not wanting to say goodbye, and then suddenly ran out.

“.....Haa... Haa....”

“......”

I’ve experienced numerous farewells, but... the emotion of parting with Sien was still strangely heavy and profound.

Even though I treated her so coldly, my feet wouldn’t move.

...But this too was something I now had to accept.

Adam Hyung and Gale subtly comforted me, nudging me as we walked.

Ner and Arwin briefly watched the Saintess.

I too looked at Sien.

“...”

“...”

It was the last time.

My childhood friend.

My best friend.

The woman I had loved.

It seemed we would not meet again.

With that thought... I blinked hard, offering her a final greeting.

As if laying down my entire past.

Could others understand the difficulty of setting down these heavy emotions?

I turned away.

“Bell!!!”

Then, a loud voice that shook the entire space rang out.

Our personal nickname reverberated around us.

She was grasping strongly at the connection I had let go of.

My legs froze, unable to take another step... paralyzed.

The nickname, filled with countless memories, once again tightened around my heart.

How much I had loved that endearment once, now its memory seemed so faint.

“...Bell?”

“...”

Ner and Arwin looked at me with questions in their eyes upon hearing that nickname.

Though it wasn’t clear who it was addressing, they instinctively saw me stop.

Their expressions turned uneasy as they alternated glances between me and Sien.

“...”

I clenched my teeth.

...Our relationship, ultimately unable to remain hidden.

I could no longer hide my troubled heart.

I turned around with a twisted expression.

I wanted to maintain a cold facade, but all I could muster was a look of weakness.

There stood Sien, once again shedding tears, looking at me straight on.

-...Swoosh...

She slowly reached out her arms.

“...”

“...”

Sien, who had recoiled, not wanting to reach me.

Now, the tearful her spoke.

“...Embrace me.”

She said to me, as I was about to leave.

Letting go of her image as the Saintess.

As Sien, in front of everyone, she pleaded with me.

“...Stop pretending now...sob...embrace me...Hug me, Bell.”

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

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