Chapter 189: Physical Contact (1)

 

Sien blinked in disbelief at the scene unfolding before her eyes, then asked again, as if she couldn’t believe it.

 

Gradually, discomfort began to fill her face.

 

"...What... are you doing?"

 

"..............."

 

Her gaze slowly scrutinized Ner.

 

Ner remained frozen, as if her body had turned to stone, unable to react.

 

Sien continued her questioning.

 

"...In someone else's bedroom... while whispering another woman’s husband's name..."

 

"................"

 

"...What on earth..."

 

Sien observed Ner’s face, which was gradually turning red.

 

Even she seemed to wear a look of shame, as if she had lost her dignity.

 

It was understandable.

 

She had been caught whispering another woman's husband's name, biting his clothes, and rubbing her thighs against it.

 

There was no need to elaborate on how absurd the situation was—everyone recognized it.

 

"..."

 

Sien blinked, finding it increasingly difficult to endure.

 

The sudden surge of anger and confusion was becoming too much to bear.

 

She felt she had to tell Berg about all of this.

 

Despite the line she had drawn, she wanted to inform Berg, who had been somewhat kind to Ner.

 

It was an explosive impulse.

 

-Tatadak!

 

But just as she turned to leave, Ner suddenly moved.

 

She grabbed Sien’s wrist with a strong grip as she turned away.

 

"Wa...wait... just a moment..."

 

"Let go of me."

 

"Just a moment... please... please..."

 

Ner was clinging to her wrist, pleading.

 

Her legs gave way as if she were about to collapse, but she held onto Sien’s wrist as if it were her lifeline.

 

She seemed to understand what her future would hold if Berg learned of this.

 

The mask she had worn in front of him, appearing composed, was shattering.

 

"Please... don't tell Berg."

 

Ner pleaded.

 

Even as she spoke, Ner couldn’t raise her head.

 

Once, she had been Berg’s partner.

 

Now, she was pleading with the woman who had become Berg’s wife.

 

"Please... please..."

 

"........."

 

Sien found herself unable to respond.

 

All she could do was stare at the woman desperately pleading in front of her.

 

She didn't know why Berg had divorced her.

 

She hadn’t asked.

 

However, it was clear that Berg's ex-wives had caused him great pain, and there were rumors that they deeply regretted their actions.

 

Ner was now confirming with her own eyes that she truly regretted it.

 

She could feel that Ner still harbored strong feelings for Berg.

 

Although she wondered if Ner might simply want to remain by his side as a friend... no one would use sexual desire to comfort themselves while thinking of a friend.

 

Ner still wanted to stay close to Berg... but now that there was no longer a place for her there, Sien had no intention of yielding.

 

"..."

 

In the silence, she continued her thoughts.

 

It seemed that even after nearly two years since the divorce, Ner hadn’t been able to forget Berg at all.

 

On the contrary, she seemed to want him more than ever.

 

Sien realized once again that Ner’s desire to help with the plague in Stockpin was ultimately because she wanted to be with Berg.

 

In that moment, Sien saw a reflection of someone else.

 

She understood the emotions Ner was feeling better than anyone.

 

She even remembered the pain of being rejected by Berg in the past.

 

"...Ha."

 

With a sigh, Sien loosened her grip on her arm.

 

As the tension eased, Ner looked up at her.

 

"..."

 

"..."

 

The fierce anger that had consumed her subsided for a moment.

 

If she tried to understand, she could.

 

She hadn’t imagined that someone could commit such a desperate act... but she understood the emotion.

 

After all, Sien herself had once begged Berg to hold her when his ex-wives were still in the picture.

 

The shock from that moment had been less than this.

 

Back then, when Berg and Ner were still married, she had truly believed they had a relationship.

 

Sien continued to take deep breaths.

 

Then, she looked down at Ner with eyes filled with a touch of sympathy.

 

She could empathize with her pain, to some extent.

 

In that moment, she could feel the kind of despair where you might think you could die, and it wouldn’t matter.

 

Slowly, she began to speak.

 

"...I know how you feel."

 

"...What...?"

 

Ner blinked slowly, looking up at Sien with difficulty.

 

"...I’ve been in a situation like yours."

 

Sien’s words were cold, delivered with deliberate care.

 

"Scared, jealous, resentful... it must feel like you’re going to lose your mind every day. It’s hard to stay sane."

 

"..."

 

"...So I understand. I understand why you would do something so irrational... I do understand."

 

Perhaps this calmness stemmed from the deep bond she had with Berg.

 

Maybe it was because she knew that no matter what happened, Berg’s love for her wouldn’t wane.

 

Their love was growing stronger every day, and she was confident that nothing could shake it.

 

She was already carrying Berg’s child.

 

But there were things that needed to be said.

 

Sien slowly and carefully stroked the ring on her left hand.

 

"...But Berg is married to me now."

 

"........."

 

"And I have no intention of ever letting him go. I’m not foolish enough to repeat the same mistake twice."

 

"...Ah...ah..."

 

"...So now, I’m asking you. I know it’s hard... but please, let Berg go. Berg is my husband."

 

Ner couldn’t even lift her head.

 

She must have known that Sien’s words were completely true.

 

In a barely audible voice, Ner whispered her reply.

 

".........I’m so exhausted..."

 

".................."

 

"It hurts... so much... I feel like I’m dying..."

 

For a moment, Sien’s eyes flashed with sympathy.

 

She didn’t respond to Ner’s words.

 

She knew how hard it was. She even understood.

 

But there was nothing she could do.

 

All she could do was gently remove Ner’s hand from her wrist.

 

-Thud.

 

Sien then turned around.

 

She resumed her original task of gathering a few laundry items and preparing a cloth to wipe the sweat from Berg’s body before he returned to work in the fields.

 

As she packed her things, Sien glanced at Ner, who was still sitting on the floor, and spoke.

 

"...I won’t tell Berg."

 

In the end, she made her decision.

 

It was a small mercy extended to Ner.

 

After all... Berg was already burdened with so much due to his responsibilities in the estate.

 

Sien knew better than anyone that Berg was not the kind of person who enjoyed taking on responsibility.

 

Berg was just a man from the slums who wanted a life free from tension and pressure.

 

He had spent his entire life under stress and strain, and now he longed for a life without such burdens.

 

Sien hadn’t forgotten Berg’s dream.

 

She also knew that the life he was living now was far from that dream.

 

...Moreover, Berg was someone who couldn’t easily let go of past connections.

 

Though his diligent nature often masked this side of him, he never forgot anyone who had been part of his life.

 

That was why the deaths of his comrades weighed heavily on him, why he had wandered aimlessly when she left, and why he still hadn’t written an epitaph for Captain Adam, even now.

 

Living closely with him, Sien knew this.

 

She even recalled the speculation that Sylphrien had once shared with her.

 

The Warrior of Solitude was perhaps someone who, more than anyone, longed to be with his comrades, enduring the trials of loss.

 

With that in mind, Sien wondered if Berg had truly forgotten Ner and Arwin, the elf.

 

Could it be that he had buried his feelings, suppressing them out of consideration for her?

 

If she thought about it that way, Ner’s behavior became even more difficult to address.

 

Though it was indeed a desperate act, Sien could sense the depth of emotion beneath it.

 

Hiding these thoughts, Sien offered her reason for showing mercy to Ner.

 

"...You’re treating the plague spreading through Stockpin..."

 

She even spoke words of encouragement to Ner, whose expression remained troubled.

 

"...And you supported Berg when I wasn’t around... so I’ll keep this matter a secret."

 

Sien finally looked back at Ner, who remained silent.

 

After standing there for a while, she spoke again.

 

"...I pity you."

 

It was an honest admission.

 

"...But that pity will never make me give up on Berg."

 

-Thud.

 

With that, Sien stepped outside.

 

There was no way to explain the turmoil brewing in her heart.

 

****

 

A Few Days Later.

 

The number of infected people increased day by day.

 

Even Shawn... even Theodore succumbed to the plague.

 

I could feel the problem we were facing growing more severe with each passing moment.

 

The death toll began to rise as well.

 

The first to go were the elderly, who had never been in good health to begin with.

 

And with each death, the weight of responsibility as a leader bore down on me more heavily.

 

The only solace, perhaps, was that Ner continued to work diligently and quietly.

 

She had become more reserved than usual, dedicating herself to the well-being of the village.

 

Thanks to her efforts, more people were showing signs of recovery.

 

Despite being a noble, she devoted herself to nursing the sick with utmost care, and after dinner, she would lock herself in her room to prepare herbal remedies.

 

At times, as I watched her working silently, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of curiosity.

 

It was as if something had happened.

 

Perhaps it was my rejection that had caused this change in her.

 

If that was indeed the reason, then perhaps it would be rude of me to worry about her.

 

"…"

 

With the number of infected growing, it was only natural that work in the fields was slowing down.

 

As the days passed, it became clear that we wouldn’t be able to complete the planned tasks within the allotted time.

 

So it was a relief, at least, that today was the day when assistance from Celebrian was supposed to arrive.

 

In the midst of the chaos, everyone was waiting for our guests.

 

We hadn’t even formed up yet.

 

Among the crowd, I guided my horse forward and noticed Ner once again, sitting atop her horse with that same melancholy expression.

 

"…"

 

Perhaps it was because I had seen how hard she was working.

 

In that moment, a fleeting sense of pity arose within me.

 

Without thinking, I approached her and asked in a low voice.

 

"…Why?"

 

Ner swallowed a shaky breath and looked up at me.

 

If her sadness wasn’t related to me... I even felt a slight urge to offer some support.

 

"…"

 

She couldn’t answer for a long time.

 

Her lower lip trembled slightly.

 

Then, finally, she smiled and spoke.

 

"…I love you, Berg."

 

"…"

 

A response that wasn’t an answer to any question, nor a statement that fit the flow of the conversation.

 

It was something that could only be described as out of place.

 

I couldn’t tell if it was an attempt to hide her true feelings, or if that was simply all she could say.

 

"…"

 

In the end, I urged my horse forward, passing her by.

 

There was nothing I could do to help.

 

For now, I had to focus on the imminent arrival of Arwin.

 

The Arwin who once claimed she had forgotten about me.

 

Those words left my mind in turmoil, but I still saw it as an opportunity to finally let her go completely.

 

Since we never had a proper farewell, this might be the chance.

 

Once the help arrived and everything was settled... perhaps I could say goodbye to her with a light smile as she left.

 

It was the right choice—for me and for Arwin.

 

The difference in our lifespans was immense, something that couldn’t be bridged no matter what we did.

 

“...Someone’s coming.”

 

At that moment, from a distance, a rider appeared, and Baran pointed it out.

 

Five more riders followed behind the first.

 

“Is that Krian?”

 

Baran voiced his doubt at the small number of riders.

 

I frowned as I watched them approach, then quickly realized that it wasn’t Krian.

 

Even after two years, I recognized her instantly.

 

...It was Arwin, coming towards us from afar.

 

Not riding in a carriage, but galloping freely on horseback, more at ease than anyone.

 

I took a deep breath, tightened my grip on the reins, and moved forward to greet them.

 

****

 

Arwin bit her lip as she saw Berg approaching from a distance.

 

It had been a year and a half, or perhaps two years, since she last saw Berg.

 

Now, she was seeing him with her own eyes again.

 

She averted her gaze, trying to calm the emotions swirling within her.

 

For nearly two years, she had been performing sacrificial rituals under the World Tree, searching for a way to share her lifespan.

 

She had endured all this time, clinging to the hope of being with Berg once more.

 

Although she had watched him for a long time through Lua, the bluebird he named, actually facing him in person was entirely different.

 

The only consolation was that the elders had discovered a way to share lifespans.

 

Through actions that were almost a protest, Arwin had compelled them to use their ancient knowledge, rooted in their long lifespans, to find a way forward for her.

 

Everything seemed to be going according to plan, at least for now.

 

Arwin felt as though everything was within her grasp.

 

The future would be determined by how she chose to speak.

 

"...Haa."

 

So she exhaled deeply, steeling her resolve.

 

She had to make good on the lie that she had forgotten Berg.

 

She needed to approach him subtly, without overwhelming him... to become the friend he would want to keep close, even if everyone else left.

 

Her plan was to slowly guide him towards accepting the idea of sharing lifespans, especially in the face of the fear of death.

 

The process would undoubtedly be painful.

 

She would have to witness him holding Sien, raising their child together.

 

If she had seen such a scene for the first time with her own eyes, it might have driven her mad.

 

But she had already seen it countless times through the bluebird.

 

Each time, it hurt less, though the pain was still there.

 

Arwin had been preparing herself to some extent.

 

With that emotional armor, she intended to approach him slowly, concealing her true intentions.

 

As she watched Berg steadily guide his horse towards her, Arwin also slowed her pace.

 

Each time she saw him clearly with her own eyes, a wave of overwhelming emotions surged through her.

 

Sylphrien, who had come to the village with her, spoke up beside her.

 

"…Arwin."

 

Arwin responded to her unnie’s words.

 

"…I know, unnie. I'm trying to suppress my emotions, so please don't say anything."

 

Sylphrien nodded at her reply.

 

Then, with a worried expression, she added,

 

"…And there's also that news…"

 

"…"

 

Arwin had learned of new information on her way here, news that Sylphrien's hawk had brought back, something almost unbelievable.

 

The impact of this news was sure to stir up another storm in Stockpin.

 

Why did she have to be the one to deliver such news to Berg, whom she was seeing for the first time in so long?

 

She couldn't help but feel pity for Berg.

 

He was a human who had endured an incredibly arduous life.

 

If he had collapsed and given up, perhaps he would have seemed less pitiable.

 

But because he continued to endure every trial, to rise again, and to pursue a better life, he shone even more brightly, appearing even more beautiful.

 

Finally, Berg approached within close range.

 

She could see his face, even the color of his eyes.

 

Arwin swallowed hard, calming her trembling heart.

 

She then steeled her expression and moved closer to him.

 

"....Arwin."

 

Berg spoke first, breaking the silence.

 

‘...Ugh...’

 

Arwin realized how long it had been since she last heard him say her name.

 

His lips had only uttered "Sien" for so long.

 

Suppressing her emotions once more, she responded in a firm voice.

 

"…Lord Berg Reiker."

 

"…"

 

Berg’s expression hardened slightly.

 

Was it disappointment?

 

Even the smallest reaction from Berg made Arwin's resolve waver like a reed in the wind.

 

She continued,

 

"…I’ve come to offer assistance. I heard the estate is facing difficulties."

 

Berg hesitated for a moment, then responded with the same formal tone that Arwin had used.

 

"…That’s correct. Many have fallen ill due to the plague—"

 

"—Please, speak comfortably."

 

When Berg responded with such formality, Arwin, struggling with an overwhelming sense of rejection and sorrow, interrupted him with a suggestion.

 

She feared that her voice might tremble as she spoke.

 

Arwin quickly added an explanation for her earlier words.

 

"...It's just that formal speech feels a bit awkward."

 

"…"

 

Berg let out a long sigh before replying.

 

"...The plague has spread, and the village is struggling. Just like last year, I still don’t know much about farming. We’re also short on manpower because of the bandits. We need help."

 

"…"

 

Arwin steadied her trembling heart and nodded in response. Then she looked towards Sien, who was standing beside Berg, and spoke.

 

"...Lady Sien Reiker."

 

"...Lady Arwin."

 

In that brief moment, Arwin found herself wondering when Sien might die.

 

Only when Sien's lifespan came to an end would there be an opportunity for her to step in.

 

Sien, who shared the same surname as Berg.

 

Sien probably had no idea just how much Arwin envied that fact.

 

Sometimes, in a drunken stupor, Arwin would fill an entire sheet of paper with her and Berg’s names, scribbling endlessly.

 

‘Arwin Reiker,’ a name that sounded so perfect, she had written it over and over again.

 

"…"

 

Arwin shook off the memory as quickly as it had come.

 

Sylphrien, standing nearby, continued the introductions.

 

"Lord Berg Reiker. It’s been a long time."

 

"Yes, it has been a while."

 

Sylphrien then turned to the next person.

 

"...Gale."

 

Gale responded with a smile.

 

"It's good to see you again, Lady Sylphrien. And it's been a while, too, Lady Arwin."

 

Finally, Sylphrien turned to Sien, her smile widening.

 

"...Saintess-nim. Or should I say, Sien Reiker now?"

 

Sien returned Sylphrien's warm greeting with a bright smile.

 

"Sylphrien, I've missed you so much. How have you been?"

 

"Everyone kept treating me like a hero, and it made things a bit uncomfortable. And you, Lady... Sien?"

 

Sien smiled bitterly as she replied.

 

"...Many criticize me for losing my purity."

 

".............."

 

While others might have focused on the criticism that Sien faced for her fall from grace as a hero, Arwin’s thoughts were entirely occupied with the mention of Sien losing her purity.

 

The nightmare of their first night together resurfaced in Arwin's mind.

 

Her expression subtly hardened at the memory.

 

The echo of Sien's cries during that fateful night still lingered deep within Arwin's ears.

 

Even without making a conscious effort to control her expression, her face tensed.

 

Berg, observing the group, spoke up.

 

"Let's go inside. We can talk more—"

 

Sylphrien interrupted Berg, her face suddenly serious.

 

"Ah... before that, just a moment."

 

She then turned to Arwin.

 

"…"

 

Arwin nodded in response to Sylphrien's signal.

 

Before she could even fully absorb the emotions of their reunion, there was urgent news that needed to be shared.

 

"...Berg."

 

Arwin let the sound of his name linger on her lips for a moment, swallowing as she steeled herself.

 

This news might provoke a strong reaction from Berg.

 

But it was something he would inevitably have to learn, and it was better to bring it up sooner rather than later.

 

The earlier he knew, the more time there would be to prepare.

 

"…?"

 

Berg blinked, sensing the gravity in her tone.

 

Arwin, still aware that he hadn’t been able to fully let go of Captain Adam, finally spoke.

 

"...Krund has..."

 

The mention of the name caused Berg's expression to instantly harden.

 

Arwin continued, her voice steady but filled with gravity.

 

"...reappeared."

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

 

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