Chapter 204: Arwin’s True Feelings (1)

 

After getting a proper rest with Ner, I open my eyes.

 

There was a lot to do today.

 

I looked down at Ner, who was sleeping peacefully in my arms.

 

I can’t even remember the last time we spent together like this.

 

A hint of regret also lingered—had I accepted her too late?

 

The warmth we shared in the bed was comforting.

 

She had become a pillar of my heart, just like Sien, in a different way.

 

Carefully, I slid my arm out from under her head.

 

Then, I pulled the blanket over her and got out of bed.

 

—Thud.

 

“…Where are you going…?”

 

But Ner, sensitive to my movement, woke up right away.

 

Despite my carefulness, here we were.

 

I replied to her.

 

“I have to go to work now.”

 

“…Can’t you stay… just a little longer…?”

 

“…”

 

I pressed my lips together and gently brushed her cheek.

 

Turning down her weakened plea wasn’t easy.

 

But it was time to get up, so I spoke.

 

“I’ll come back again.”

 

“…”

 

Only after hearing those words did Ner release me.

 

As I moved into the living room, Lan was already there waiting for me.

 

It looked like she’d been waiting for me to come out, sipping on a cup of tea.

 

“Did you sleep well?”

 

Lan asked.

 

I nodded in response.

 

“Yes. And… Ner woke up.”

 

—Creak!

 

“…”

 

Hearing that, Lan immediately stood up and looked at me.

 

And as if to confirm it herself, she quickly moved towards the room.

 

I watched her go and then started walking.

 

A new day had begun.

 

****

 

“Is that really true?”

 

Upon hearing the news that Ner was awake, Arwin let out a sigh of relief.

 

I nodded at her.

 

“Yes, she’s up.”

 

“…That’s a relief. You were so worried.”

 

“…”

 

I nodded, gazing out over the wide fields.

 

Now, every seed had been planted.

 

From here on, it was just about pulling weeds and watering—waiting was all that remained.

 

“Thank you.”

 

I looked at the fields and offered my thanks to Arwin.

 

A change that came with a bit of newfound peace in my heart.

 

Thanks to Arwin, we’d managed to get the basics of farming done on time.

 

Without her, none of this would have been possible.

 

I crouched down, running my fingers over the soil.

 

Arwin sat down beside me, close but likely without any specific intention.

 

“Don’t mention it. It’s only just beginning.”

 

She was right; it was only the beginning.

 

There was still a long list of things to do.

 

Just planting the seeds didn’t mean it was over.

 

But maybe, after this, I wouldn’t need to rely on Arwin anymore.

 

As much as farming occupied my mind, there was another issue that lingered.

 

I looked at Arwin, who was smiling softly.

 

“…Arwin.”

 

I hesitated, thinking about how to phrase my words.

 

“…”

 

Her expression grew increasingly serious as she sat there, facing me.

 

She looked into my eyes at close range… and then shifted her gaze to my lips.

 

I spoke to her.

 

“…I think it’s alright for you to return now.”

 

“…?”

 

Arwin froze for a long moment, then asked back in a dazed voice.

 

“…What?”

 

“From here on, we can manage things ourselves. You’ve been a tremendous help, from farming tools to even the smallest techniques. Without you, none of this would’ve been possible.”

 

Arwin opened her mouth, then closed it again.

 

Her eyes darted around, unsettled.

 

“…You’re… telling me to… go back?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“B-but… didn’t I say there’s still a lot left to do?”

 

I wasn’t saying this because she wasn’t needed anymore.

 

Seeing her with a look like a stray puppy abandoned after the hunt, I responded.

 

“The Demon king’s right hand is on its way here.”

 

“…”

 

“Whether we retreat or make another choice… a battle is coming. Stockpin isn’t safe anymore.”

 

“…”

 

“So take the people of Celebrian and get to safety. Your part here is done.”

 

Arwin looked up at me, silent.

 

As if trying to confirm my sincerity, she gazed deeply into my eyes.

 

Her slightly parted lips seemed unable to accept the reality before her.

 

“…Again…”

 

“…?”

 

“…Is this… another farewell?”

 

Something about the way she said it felt off.

 

“Farewells aren’t unnatural. Even if it weren’t for the Krund issue, we would’ve had to say goodbye someday.”

 

“…”

 

Arwin didn’t respond.

 

She continued her shallow breaths, looking ahead.

 

“…Why does Ner…”

 

“What?”

 

“…”

 

After a long moment of deliberation, Arwin grabbed my arm.

 

“…I can still help. I can be of assistance.”

 

“If it’s about the farming, we’ve alre—”

 

“It’s not that… I mean, I can give you information.”

 

“…Information?”

 

“Just like Sylphrien unnie does… I can gather news from here and there… stories related to Krund…”

 

“…”

 

“And… if the royal family tries to draft you, what will you do then? With me here, I can help fend off that offer, don’t you think…?”

 

I let out a long sigh.

 

It wasn’t a decision I could make on the spot.

 

Maybe after some thought, she’d realize it was best for her to leave, too.

 

I offered a suggestion.

 

“Think it over first. Talk to Sylphrien as well. Then make your decision and let me know.”

 

“…”

 

I stood up, brushing the dirt off my hands, and spoke one last time to her.

 

“Alright?”

 

“…”

 

Arwin didn’t respond.

 

****

 

When I returned home to check on Ner, Lan and several caretakers were with her.

 

Seeing so many people watching over her made me feel even more concerned.

 

What happened for them all to gather here?

 

“What’s going on?”

 

As I stepped in and asked, they let out sighs of relief, turning to face me.

 

Lan, acting as their spokesperson, explained.

 

“…This stubborn one wasn’t listening to anyone, so we’ve had a hard time with her.”

 

“Pardon?”

 

Lan then stood up and handed me a white cloth.

 

“After Lord Reikerleft, Ner had a slight fever… so she’s been sweating a bit.”

 

“…A fever?”

 

“She’s fine now. It’s probably a sign her body is regaining its strength. But when we tried to clean her sweat… she insisted it had to be you.”

 

Through the small gap between them, I caught a glimpse of Ner.

 

She was turned away, clutching the hem of her dress tightly.

 

“…”

 

At the same time, Lan nodded toward the other caretakers.

 

At her signal, they began leaving the room one by one.

 

“Cleanliness is essential for health. I trust you can handle it.”

 

Even Lan spoke to me in a tone that suggested she was fed up with her stubbornness and then left.

 

It was as if she had grown weary of dealing with her.

 

I couldn’t quite keep up with how suddenly things were unfolding.

 

—Thud.

 

The door closed, leaving just the two of us in the room.

 

“…Is this for real?”

 

I asked Ner.

 

She nodded, still turned away from me.

 

A bit of frustration slipped into my voice as I pressed her.

 

“…Ner. Your health is the priority. Where’s the luxury to pick and choo—”

 

“—You know how Lan treated me… she tormented me,”

 

Ner interrupted, her voice sounding stronger than it had in the morning.

 

Yet, there was a hint of sadness hidden in her words.

 

“…”

 

“People from Blackwood… they ridiculed me too.”

 

“…”

 

“How could I let people like that see me this way? Even back at the estate… I only ever asked those I trusted to help me.”

 

Searching for the right words, I finally responded.

 

“…I understand, but for your health—”

 

“—You’re here, aren’t you?”

 

“…”

 

“…You, who was once… my husband.”

 

I let out a sigh through my nose.

 

There was no point in pushing this any further.

 

Slowly, I stepped closer to her.

 

I dipped a cloth in the water basin nearby, wrung it out, and spoke to her.

 

“Look this way.”

 

“…”

 

At last, Ner turned around and looked up at me.

 

Her eyes were red—she must have been crying.

 

Looking back, it seemed like Ner cried more than Sien ever did.

 

I pulled a chair over and sat beside her.

 

Her scent filled the air, intensified by her sweat.

 

“…”

 

It was oddly fragrant.

 

I looked down at her, bringing the cloth gently to her face.

 

“Let’s begin.”

 

I started by wiping her eyes.

 

I cleared away any traces of tears.

 

Ner’s pointed ears twitched, but she accepted my touch without resistance.

 

There was a stark contrast from that first night, where just my presence would make her cry.

 

The girl who used to place a pillow between us as we slept was gone.

 

I softly wiped her forehead, cheeks, neck, and collarbone.

 

It was a natural, unhurried act.

 

Throughout it all, Ner kept her gaze fixed on me.

 

Her weary eyes held steady, unblinking, as if she wanted to remember every moment.

 

“…I love you.”

 

“…”

 

I paused at Ner’s sudden confession.

 

“…More than anything.”

 

A species that loves only one.

 

I could finally understand the weight of her heart.

 

Only now did I grasp the depth of her words.

 

I met her gaze for a moment before resuming the gentle task of cleaning her.

 

After wiping her face and visible areas, it was time to clean the rest of her body.

 

Ner seemed aware of what was coming next.

 

She swallowed, a mix of embarrassment and nervousness evident.

 

I held onto the edge of her garment and spoke softly.

 

“I’ll remove it now.”

 

“…”

 

At my words, she looked up at me, blinking repeatedly.

 

It wasn’t rejection—more like hesitation.

 

Ner remained silent for a long moment.

 

Watching her, I asked.

 

“Should I stop—”

 

—Thump.

 

But before I could finish, she grabbed my arm.

 

Then, gathering her strength, she shook her head.

 

After a deep breath, she spoke.

 

“…Please, take it off.”

 

I nodded and gently removed her top.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

 

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