Chapter 172: The Flow of Time (4)

Ner was staring blankly out the window.

On her left ring finger, she still wore the ring from Berg.

She had moved the ring Berg had abandoned to her left thumb.

She knew it was pathetic to wear the symbol of the marriage to her ex-husband, but she felt she would truly go mad if she didn’t.

Dozens of times a day, she considered throwing herself out this window.

Just enough to get hurt, so she could send word to Berg.

… If she did that, she was sure, no matter what, that Berg would come running for her.

There was no doubt.

If she got seriously hurt, Berg would come; she knew this better than anyone.

That was the kind of person Berg was.

Such a shameful thought trailed on and on.

Ner knew she was a vile monster, trying to take advantage of Berg’s kind heart.

“Ner.”

Ner was startled by the sudden voice.

Her weakened body and mind reacted strongly even to the smallest noise.

When she turned around, she saw her brother, Gidon.

Ner didn’t know when he had come in.

She wondered when their father had left.

Gidon took a deep breath for a while, then asked with a stern face.

“… Will anything change if you stay like that?”

“…”

“I’m asking if there will be any change in your current situation.”

“…”

Ner felt surprisingly no emotions under Gidon’s pressure.

The fear and terror she used to feel were gone.

The intense pain from her separation from Berg had dulled everything else.

So Ner simply ignored Gidon’s words and turned her head.

She continued to stare out the window, thinking about Berg.

“… Even if I were that mercenary, I would have pushed away someone like you.”

But Gidon’s next words provoked Ner more than anything ever had.

-Creak!!

“……”

She stood up, trembling, with her fists clenched tightly.

An explosive surge of hatred came from her.

Ner had never rebelled against Gidon like this before.

“...Brother.”

Ner gritted her teeth and warned Gidon.

“...You should watch your mouth.”

She even tried to imitate the way Berg warned others.

But Gidon, as stubborn as his appearance suggested, just snorted.

“Think about it. You were afraid of that mercenary from the beginning. Now that I think about it, he never even laid a finger on you. That must have been out of consideration for you. He treated you so carefully and took care of you so dearly. But you were preparing to betray him, so of course, he would push you away.”

“...”

-Drip... drip...

Tears of frustration welled up and rolled down Ner’s face.

It was because she knew there was no lie in Gidon’s words.

“...Leave.”

In the end, all Ner could say was to tell him to leave.

Gidon’s painful truth was hurting her.

And the more it hurt, the more she thought of only one person.

The man who always healed her pain.

But Gidon didn’t move.

He continued speaking.

“You, writing letters every day. Do you think your constant wailing will suddenly change that mercenary’s heart? Haven’t you realized yet that his heart has already left you?”

“Get out!!!”

At the words that Berg’s feelings for her had left, Ner screamed with all her might.

Gidon shouted back, not backing down.

“Get a hold of yourself!!”

Ner flinched at Gidon’s outburst.

He continued, staring at her.

“Look at yourself. Your skin is dry, your fur has lost its shine. Even your face, which had minimal charm, has lost its vitality. Who would accept a woman like you as you are now? Crying... Do you think that will make that mercenary come back...!”

Only then did Ner start to look at herself.

Even the tail fur that Berg had called beautiful was now a mess.

Looking around, everything was destroyed.

She hadn’t noticed how dirty the room had become.

Teacups and a teapot lay on the floor, clothes were strewn about. The food the servants had brought for her sat cold on the table. Fallen chairs and broken furniture pieces were visible.

There was no place to step.

This was the result of her crying and screaming hysterically.

For the first time in days, she became aware of everything around her.

The anger gradually drained from Ner’s face.

And in its place, self-loathing and sorrow filled her.

“...Berg...”

She whispered.

Her longing for him reached its peak.

She felt like she could do anything if only she could be by Berg’s side.

Gidon spoke.

“The more you fall apart, the further you push that mercenary away. If you haven’t realized it yet, then please do...!”

“...Hic... sob...”

As Ner continued to weep, Gidon sighed deeply and took a breath.

For a while, only Ner’s sobbing filled the room.

After a long silence, Gidon spoke again.

“You won’t be able to see that mercenary until his anger towards you cools down. That’s the reality you have to accept. If nothing happens, you won’t see him for several months.”

At Gidon’s realistic timeline, Ner felt a sharp pain in her heart.

“That might not even be enough. It could take years, maybe ten years. He might not want to see you at all.”

Ten years was an unbearably long time. The thought of not seeing Berg for that period was incredibly painful for her.

She was afraid that such a long separation could become a reality.

“And if you stay broken like this, even if there is a next meeting, it will be your last. If you crumble so disgracefully, he won’t even look at you. Instead, he’ll just rid himself of any lingering feelings.”

Gidon frowned as he spoke.

“It’s your choice. Get up or stay broken. But let me promise you one thing, when I become the head of the family in the future. If you still look like this then... I will use you as a pawn for the family. I won’t hesitate to sell you off again. This is not a threat, it’s a promise... So remember that.”

Gidon left Ner with those words, leaving her behind.

“..........”

Ner sat down weakly, tears streaming down her face.

Yet, somehow, Gidon’s relentless tirade seemed to deliver her situation more clearly.

Gidon was right.

Nothing would change if she stayed like this.

She had learned that all too well through Berg.

No matter the situation, Berg always got back up and kept moving.

Even recently, he had continued on after losing Captain Adam.

As his wife, Ner had witnessed those moments countless times.

She had admired him for it.

There were moments when she wanted to be his strength.

Now, she had to go through that process herself.

Ner remained in the same spot until nightfall.

Endless thoughts and reflections filled her mind.

Looking back, Berg was too good for her.

Though they had shared affection, she lacked any qualities to truly be by his side.

“...Was it this hard, Berg?”

She realized she needed to get up and move.

As much as Gidon’s words were right... she needed to at least start by taking care of herself.

The connection between Blackwood and the Red Flames wasn’t severed yet.

Thanks to Berg’s consideration, Blackwood still had debts to repay.

She didn’t know what Berg might ask for, but perhaps through that process, she could get closer to him.

She didn’t know how long she would have to wait.

She knew it would be an indefinite wait.

And the longer it took, the deeper her longing for Berg would grow.

She hoped it wouldn’t take too long.

She didn’t know how she might change.

Ner gazed at the moon.

She wondered if Berg was looking at this same moon somewhere.

“...I miss you so much... Berg...”

She whispered.

Ner’s body began to shiver from the cold.

The night air was chilly.

It was the kind of cold she could endure when Berg was with her... but tonight, it felt even colder.

Ner finally collapsed onto the desk.

She knew she needed to get a grip, as Gidon had said... but just for today, she needed to cry.

.

.

.

.

The next day, Ner took care of herself.

Many servants were surprised at the sight of her.

She wiped away her tears and groomed her tail. She even applied light makeup, just as Berg liked.

With herself put together, she went to find her father.

Gibson’s face lit up at the sight of her standing.

“...Ner...!”

Gidon was also by Gibson’s side.

Though Ner had risen because of Gidon’s words... she felt no gratitude towards him.

She still harbored resentment towards Gidon, and with Berg’s presence, she no longer needed her family’s love.

Ner slowly approached her father and asked with a firm demeanor.

“...You said that thanks to me, Blackwood could rise again?”

Gibson, noticing her change, nodded.

“Yes, it’s all thanks to you.”

“...Then, can you grant me one request?”

Gibson nodded again.

“Of course, Ner. I’ll help you as much as I can.”

Ner’s stern expression softened for a moment.

With a trembling voice, she asked, “Can you take me to Stockpin right now?”

Gibson hesitated, unable to answer immediately.

The atmosphere grew tense.

Silence filled the room.

It was Gidon who finally broke it.

“...We can take you, but you’ll only be turned away.”

“Gidon...!”

Ner quietly nodded at his words.

She knew it was the truth.

It was just something she had to say out loud.

She would have to wait until Berg needed her help.

So instead, she asked for something else.

She needed strength to endure the indefinite wait.

“...Then, can you at least keep me updated on Berg’s whereabouts?”

“...What?”

“How he’s doing. If he’s eating well. What kind of expressions he’s making... who he’s meeting... if he misses me...”

Ner had so many questions about Berg.

She buried her face in her hands.

The pain didn’t go away.

In fact, it only grew more vivid.

Her heart, which could only love one person, still longed for Berg.

Finally, Gibson spoke.

“...Alright.”

“...”

“I’ll try... in any way I can.”

Ner nodded at his answer.

For now, that was all she needed.

****

Sylphrien rushed outside at the news that had stirred up Celebrien’s territory.

Sure enough, many elves were gathered in the village center.

And at the center of it all was Arwin.

She had returned to the territory, leading a horse with a sorrowful expression.

Arwin’s disappearance had shocked everyone.

The last sighting was just her leaving with a single horse, heading somewhere unknown.

Given Arwin’s disdain for the World Tree, Sylphrien never expected to see her again in this place.

But now, Arwin was facing the Elders.

Sylphrien thought the Elders were fickle.

She feared what harm might come to Arwin, who wasn’t yet 200 years old and therefore not considered an adult.

In less than a year, she had gone through a divorce... she could be confined to the territory again.

Arwin must have anticipated this possibility.

So why had she come back?

Sylphrien felt a pang of guilt towards Arwin.

She knew her actions had ultimately brought misfortune to Arwin.

Of course, it had been Arwin’s choice to hold Mel’s Tears and to give Bardi liquor to Berg.

Ultimately, it was Sylphrien who had put the final piece in place.

Ascal was the first to rush out and grab his daughter’s shoulders.

“Arwin...! Where on earth have you been...!”

Arwin, who seemed even more emotionally drained than before, looked at her father.

Around her neck hung a necklace with two overlapping leaves of the World Tree.

She spoke, “I have a request for the Elders.”

Then, she walked past her father with a detached demeanor.

Ascal, in disbelief, asked, “A request...?”

That was something Arwin would never normally do.

Especially not to the Elders.

Sylphrien watched as Arwin approached the Elders.

She stopped at a certain distance and then slowly knelt on both knees.

Murmurs spread through the crowd.

Who would have thought that the broken Arwin, known for her eccentric behavior, would kneel before the Elders?

Sylphrien also held her breath at the sight.

But Arwin continued.

“Elders.”

The Elders’ expressions were also complex.

There was a glimmer of pity for Arwin in their eyes.

Arwin went on.

“I will perform a sacrifice ritual under the World Tree every day from now on...”

The murmuring among the elves grew louder.

Ascal grabbed Arwin from behind.

“Arwin... What are you talking about...”

But Arwin continued as if she couldn’t hear him.

“From now on... I’ll do whatever you ask...”

She shed a single tear as she pleaded.

“...If there is a way to transfer lifespan... could you please tell me?”

No one could speak.

Among the elves, nothing was more important than lifespan.

Yet here was Arwin, with the longest lifespan and the most historical significance, asking for a way to share her lifespan.

Even though she had been granted the freedom she had longed for.

But at the center of it all, Arwin whispered alone.

“...There is someone I cannot live without...”

.

.

.

After the brief commotion, Sylphrien found herself face-to-face with Arwin.

The Elders had taken Arwin to a room to calm her down.

Sylphrien was the one chosen to stay with her.

Since that conversation, Sylphrien had not spoken to Arwin.

Sylphrien asked with difficulty, “You want to share your lifespan...?”

“...”

“Arwin, what do you mean by that?”

“You already know what I’m thinking, don’t you?”

Arwin’s voice was resigned.

Sensing something, she explained.

“I no longer have a reason to live in this world without Berg.”

“Arwin-”

“Recently, I’ve been losing my senses, unnie. I can’t distinguish colors well... I can’t smell anything anymore. Whatever I eat, it doesn’t taste the same...”

Arwin looked up at Sylphrien with a small smile.

It was as if she had forgotten all her past resentments.

She spoke, “I feel like I’m withering away.”

“...”

Sylphrien struggled to find the right words before speaking to Arwin.

“Arwin, even if there is a way to share lifespans... it would surely be forbidden. If other races find out, elves could be used as tools to extend lifespans-”

“-I don’t care.”

Arwin interrupted, her voice still emotionless.

It felt as though none of her words were reaching her.

“I feel like I’m dying... I don’t have the luxury to worry about others.”

“.........”

Then, Arwin started to laugh.

It was a light, harmless laugh.

“...I can wait.”

“What?”

“Even if Berg ends up with that saint... I can wait.”

“...”

“I’ll wait until the saint’s lifespan ends. I’ll wait until Berg has had enough happiness with her... then it will be my turn... I’ll share my lifespan with him and live on. If he has no one else to love by then... maybe he’ll love me again...?”

Sylphrien’s eyes twitched.

She felt like she had glimpsed a side of Arwin’s deep obsession.

Arwin turned to look at Sylphrien.

“...Unnie.”

“...Yes?”

At the same time, Sylphrien realized how much Arwin was holding back her tears.

Seeing her eyes so sad, Sylphrien couldn’t bring herself to say any more harsh words.

From the look in her eyes, it seemed Arwin also understood how absurd her words sounded.

As Arwin locked eyes with Sylphrien, a bird flew in and landed on Arwin’s shoulder.

A bluebird.

Arwin’s bird.

“...Is there a spell to see the world through my bird’s eyes?”

“What?”

“Can I see what my bird sees...?”

“...”

Of course, there was such a spell. It was actually quite simple.

A spell to share sight with one’s animal. Sylphrien herself often used it.

However, Sylphrien hesitated to answer because she knew what Arwin intended to do with the spell.

“...Unnie?”

At the same time, tears welled up in Arwin’s eyes, seemingly involuntarily.

She didn’t even seem to be aware of them.

“...”

In the end, Sylphrien had only one answer she could give.

Perhaps it was due to her guilt towards Arwin.

“...Yes, there is.”

“Will you teach me?”

“...”

Arwin grasped Sylphrien’s hand desperately.

“...Please teach me, unnie. I... I want to see Berg’s face.”

After a long moment of hesitation, Sylphrien finally nodded.

“...Yes. I’ll teach you.”

****

A few more days passed.

I was growing weary of the endless proposals for arranged marriages arriving every day.

The only benefit of these letters was that they helped me memorize the family crests more easily.

“Tas family?”

“Yes, it’s Tas.”

Gale assisted me as I repeatedly identified the crests.

He stretched his neck from side to side before asking me, “So, Berg. How are the agricultural tools coming along?”

“A letter regarding that should arrive today.”

“I see. And still no news from the scattered mercenary groups?”

“...”

I was looking at several letters.

Some letters had come from the mercenary groups that participated in the meeting, just like our Red Flames.

The Arak group, Dalsaseum group, Dragonian group... all were requesting our assistance.

But we were already struggling with our own affairs, so I ignored them all.

-Knock, knock.

A knock sounded at the door.

‘It’s Desmond. May I come in?’

It was our newly hired butler, Desmond.

“Come in.”

He entered and bowed.

He was a man of discipline from the start.

“Master, new letters have arrived.”

Gale sighed.

“...They never stop coming.”

I accepted the letters without complaint, just as Adam Hyung would have.

I began to check where each one was from, but my eyes paused on one letter.

“...”

Gale noticed my hesitation and asked, “...Is it another letter from Lady Ner?”

“...”

I bit my lip and placed Ner’s letter in the drawer without opening it.

There were already over ten letters from her that I hadn’t read.

Knowing that Ner was still looking for me unsettled me.

But I knew this was something I had to overcome as well.

Even so, the letters made my mind tumultuous.

I sighed deeply and stood up.

“...I need to take a break.”

“Go ahead.”

.

.

.

I sat on the meadow, taking a moment away from the village.

It was the same meadow Arwin and I often visited in the past.

-Crunch... Crunch...

“...Are you struggling?”

Someone approached and asked.

I looked to the side and saw Sien standing there.

Over time, we had slowly grown closer.

I nodded and replied, “...A little.”

Sien walked over cautiously and sat beside me.

We spent time together, looking at nature, just like we used to.

“Brings back memories,” Sien whispered, as if reading my thoughts.

I nodded silently.

Before I knew it, our shoulders were touching.

It happened naturally as we sat together.

“...After spending seven years on the battlefield, feeling this peace... it’s unfamiliar.”

“...”

I wasn’t used to this either, after so long in mercenary work.

In many ways, she and I still had a lot in common.

“...Yes, it does.”

-Chirp! Chirp!

Just then, a bluebird flew over and landed on my thigh.

It was a small bird, like a sparrow.

Sien, delighted and surprised by the cute sight, laughed.

“Bell...!”

She whispered, trying not to scare the bird away.

I couldn’t help but smile at the bird too.

I reached out and gently stroked the bird, but it didn’t fly away.

-Chirp! Chirp!

Then, I noticed Sien had leaned in close, pressing against my shoulder to get a better look at the bird.

I stroked the bird and then looked at Sien.

She smiled at the bird, then realized I was looking at her.

“...Ah.”

Her eyes trembled slightly, and she froze.

We didn’t look away from each other for a long time.

After a while, she cleared her throat and turned away, embarrassed, running a hand through her hair.

“Bell... there’s a festival today, right?”

I nodded.

“Do you... want to spend some time together?”

She asked cautiously.

I blinked at her for a moment.

From her neck to her ears, she turned completely red.

A familiar floral scent started to waft from her.

Just like seven years ago.

When I didn’t answer right away, Sien stood up, as if she had just realized something.

“Sorry, that was... out of line-”

“-Let’s do it.”

I replied to her.

“...What?”

Sien froze in place.

I looked at her again and repeated, “Let’s spend time together.”

“.................”

A bright smile spread across her face, tears welling up in her eyes as she nodded.

“Yes...!”

-Chirp! Chirp!

The bird on my knee continued to chirp away.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

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